[url=http://www.stripcreator.com/view.php?author=smamurai&ID=182376][/url]

More to come.
Tell me if you liked it etc.

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GOVT. Warning: Do not smoke around children they will badger you for fags.

Teh Precinct : New partner. by smamurai 10-13-03

Lt. Tarquin and Constable Frenzy are out on their 1st patrol together... Hand me the keys you fucking cocksucker! Ha Ha! Oh man I love that fucking movie. I think you and I are going to get along just fine. I SAID HAND ME THE KEYS YOU FUCKING COCKSUCKER! Hmmmn, you're not talking about that movie are you? Here, take the keys already. I haven't seen a fucking movie since 1981 you fucking cocksucker! I was warned about you, cah-cah mouth.

Ok I read the faq and now, here is the comic.

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GOVT. Warning: Do not smoke around children they will badger you for fags.

Teh Precinct : Let's roll! by smamurai 10-13-03

The call comes in, innocent people are being gunned down outside the roller-disco.... Ok let's roll. There's a 187 going down at the junction on 5th and Dock Street. The perps have been described as gun-happy crazy assholes wearing Adidas sneakers. Ok, you drive. [Over the radio]~~ There's been two more people shot~~we think one of them might be one of ours~~give them some back-up~~ Woah! Hold on, back it up a second there. Would you mind re-winding a little and repeating what you just said, huh? Care to refresh my memory constable? Sure lieutenant. I said you should drive. A lesson to be learned. If you forget the chain of command and start sassing your superiors it only buys the criminals more time. I'm the one who gives orders round here. Don't you EVER presume to tell me what to do. In fact you're walking. I just had the seats cleaned anyway and it will give you time to think about what you did I am going to change into my Adidas sneakers so I can run faster. Please don't shoot me when I get there.

Here is the 2nd one, hot off the press.

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GOVT. Warning: Do not smoke around children they will badger you for fags.

The excessive narration killed the humor.

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AFROMANS MOVE

Teh Precinct : Interstate Napping by smamurai 10-13-03

Lieutenant Tarquin has fell asleep at the wheel, and it seems even the screams.............................. Hand me the keys you fucking cocksucker Hand ME the keys you fucking cocksucker ...........from the passenger seat cannot awake him from his horrible knightmare. Hand-me-the-keys-you-fucking-cocksucker what the fuck. Hand me the keys you fucking cocksucker motherfucker ARRRRGGH! NOOOOOOOOooooooooooo! Now constable Frenzy are we quite, quite sure it is numbers one through to four who have been harrassing you and making you feel under-valued in the workplace? Yes constable Frenzy, we are sure. Can we send him on a course now to build up his team-spirit and self-esteem?

strip number three comin atcha.

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GOVT. Warning: Do not smoke around children they will badger you for fags.

Teh Precinct : A Cop is Never Off-duty by smamurai 10-13-03

An off-duty Tarquin leaves the bar and begins to weave his way home when.... I'm sorry ma'am, could you please step over here for a second. What was that? I think I'm going to need to take a closer look at the walking stick. You wouldn't want to be caught violating a code six now would you? Good gracious no, I haven't been in trouble with the law in all my 96 years officer. Here you go, please be quick, I'm not as steady on my legs as I used to be. Now that's what you do, you take away their 1st line of defense then you use it against them. That stick was a code six the minute it left the shop. The end was as sharp as a nail. But why did she have to die lieutenant? Why? If you did'nt have taxi fare you could have just called me. You only live two blocks from the bar.

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GOVT. Warning: Do not smoke around children they will badger you for fags.

Getting teh bteter. =D

Teh Precinct : Donut forget me now my partner. by smamurai 10-14-03

What a day. What a beauitiful day. Ahhh! Constable Frenzy you took your time. Hand me the brown paper bag you cocksucker. Lieutenant Tarquin I'm sorry, They were sold out of apple sauce donuts, I had to buy you a pineapple donut instead. The Lt. turns the situation into a crime parable, hoping to teach his partner about initiative... You realise there are 4 shops in a 5-mile radius of here that sell apple donuts? God forbid apple donuts ever start commiting crimes constable. You wouldn't find one if it was sellotaped to your chin. I'm riding in the trunk again today aren't I? Yes and this time I want you to turn over to me any blankets you might be hiding, BEFORE you get in there. Yes sir.

Teh next installment. Damn I wish I chose another character to play constable Frenzy now, ah well.

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GOVT. Warning: Do not smoke around children they will badger you for fags.

Teh Precinct : By the Book. by smamurai 10-14-03

Before we go turn over that hookers apartment I want you to do me a favour. Take a pop at me. I mean it, hit me as hard as you can on my face. Just let loose and let one fly. Your kidding right? Last time you asked me to do that you ended up shooting my right knee off. For assaulting a police officer you were lucky to get away with your life intact buddy. I could have so easily killed you for that. You owe me for saving your life that day. Whatever! Look Lieutenent, there is no way you are going to make me throw a punch at you today. You do realise that if you disobey a direct order from your superior I am legally allowed to thread a tire-iron through your eyes? It's all in the book. How come my operating procedure manual isn't written in felt-tip? Is it because I'm only a constable?

And I continue to churn these bastards out.

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GOVT. Warning: Do not smoke around children they will badger you for fags.

I like them. They get better and better.

Teh Precinct : Jailhouse mop by smamurai 10-14-03

Now I want you to clean these cells inside and out ok? When I check on them tomorrow I want to be able to see my face in these bars. You know Lieutenet Tarquin we do have a cleaner who is supposed to do all these kind of jobs. It makes no sense to waste a trained policeman on this, why dont we get him to do it? Can't. He's riding with me today. We're about to go out on a call. By that I take it you mean you are using a precinct employee to clean out your garage? He's the only one I can trust to watch my back on that job. The last time I let you do it you broke one of my mops. How long do you intend to dock my wages for that mop. My house is in danger if I don't keep up the payments.

How long can I keep the pace? My keyboard is teh sweating.

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GOVT. Warning: Do not smoke around children they will badger you for fags.

Teh Precinct : The Law Works in Mysterious Ways. by smamurai 10-14-03

Ok now this punk lives on the 57th floor right. Get me my shotgun out the trunk and then wait here. No-one in my city dodges 3 parking tickets and lives to tell the tale. I hate that scum! Lieutenent, we can't just kill this guy. We have to arrest him, but first we need to get a warrant. What you're talking about is murder. We decorate the inside of the elevator so it looks like an apartment, when the perp comes in I pull out my shotgun and shoot him for breaking and entering.Theres not a court in the land can touch me. But why do I have to wait down here? Theres a furniture truck due to arrive soon. I need you to carry the stuff in and arrange it so it looks like a room. Do a some light hoovering but don't go mad, the carpet doesn't have to be perfect. I'll wake you when I'm done.

next.

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GOVT. Warning: Do not smoke around children they will badger you for fags.

Teh Precinct : File a Nude-Shoot. by smamurai 10-15-03

So what was going on up there? Why was internal affairs swarming all over our shit this morning? It seems someone in our department has been using the office internet to download illegal porn. Whoever it is , he has downloaded so much that there is no memory left to store new criminal records. Well it can't be me constable, hell, I have never been on that internet thing in my life. I wouldn't even know how to turn on the...what's it called again? A computer or something. That's right sir, it's called a computer. But wasn't it you who called tech support the other day because you couldn't retrieve files? You must have used a computer before. STFU n00b! .......

Those crazy cops.

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GOVT. Warning: Do not smoke around children they will badger you for fags.

Teh Precinct : The Summer Vacation of Sam by smamurai 10-15-03

prowling the seedy nite-club, serial killer Serial Sam spots his prey... Hey there pretty girl wanna party? I got everything a growing girl needs, cocaine, ketamine, pepto-bismol. Get lost creep. Drugs are for losers and so is this place. I'm outta here. Later that night.... (Yawns) Oh my God? Where am I? Who are you? Why am I naked? What are you going to do with that gun? DONT SHOOT ME! Can I interest you in another glass of Rohypnol my haughty beauty? Hee hee hee hee! You've been a bad slut haven't you? The hunt is on.... Get my skis from the Winnebago constable. Once you have done that you can start cleaning that deer I shot this morning. But Sir,the letter from Serial Sam?We're supposed to be looking for a body.We've been here 9 days and come to think of it,I'm sure Sam said the body would be found at Ash St. Motel not Aspen Colorado.

Some have said it's my best work to date, some voices in my head anyway, and even they're not convinced.

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GOVT. Warning: Do not smoke around children they will badger you for fags.

This is some pretty well-written and funny stuff. It gets better and better. Keep it up.

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Please replace the handset, and try again.