Remind me to give AtheistDiary a good kick in the pants.

My Day In Court Part 1 by ivytheplant 10-20-03

Ivy comes back from her day in court... Heh...so how was the big house? Very funny. I never even saw the jail. So what happened? Well, first I ended up in a security maze at the federal court before I found out I was in the wrong building... They "wanded" you, eh? Don't be silly, they were too distracted by the uranium I was carrying.

My Day In Court Part 2 by ivytheplant 10-20-03

Ivy describes the real government... ...So after i figured out I was in the wrong building, a nice federal security man gave me directions to the state building. Ooo! More fun with magnetic wands! Actually he gave me the wrong directions. I ended up at the Criminal Investigation building. Where I'm sure you were immediately taken into custody. No, I was just given completely different directions by a mysterious shadowy figure who talked only through a speakerphone. I didn't know you were one of Charlie's Angels.

My Day In Court Part 3 by ivytheplant 10-20-03

Ivy laments her choice in footwear... ...So I finally find the damn building and go through another security maze--don't say it! Wasn't gonna! End up in the clerk's office, arguing with a bitter old lady who couldn't tell I was confused about everything and actually needed help. Did you stomp all over the punk-ass bitch? No, I wore a bad choice in footwear and after all that walking I couldn't wait to sit. I told you the dominatrix gear wasn't appropriate courtroom attire.

My Day In Court Part 4 by ivytheplant 10-20-03

Ivy comes to a hard decision... ...So finally I make my way to the courtroom. It's filled with all sorts of creepy people--none as creepy as you though... Thanks. I waited for a while, then the judge said those of us contesting our tickets could either plead guilty for the fine to be cut in half, or wait several hours for our turn. What? No option for sleeping with the judge? *sigh* No. Frankly I was a little annoyed about having to wait so long. Especially since I was in a two hour space and didn't want to get another ticket for dealing with a ticket. Then you gonna go to the slammer!

My Day In Court Part 5 by ivytheplant 10-20-03

Ivy wins the day... So? What did you do? I used my Jedi Mind Powers on the judge. Not only am I now immune to all future speeding tickets, they have to pay me their traffic citation proceeds. Umm... You are my slave. You will do everything I say. I am your slave. I will do everything you say. Eeeexcellent. Now be a dear and walk over to that truck stop shower and drop soap. Bwah ha ha ha ha haaaa!

What was it? A parking fine?

PS - Great series.

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Please replace the handset, and try again.

It was a speeding ticket. They said I was going 87 in a 75 but my car isn't capable of going that fast. Once I go past 80 the car starts shaking apart. It's a 3 cylinder geo metro. Nuff said.

OMG... Me and my friends have an inside joke with Geo Metros LOL! And those comics were an A+ on my Alphabetic scale of rating. =D