Hey now! here's entry #1 of my series, more to come.

Eggs of Satan 1 by MikeyG 10-29-03

Jesus Confronts a Sinner I died not for thine own sins so thou couldst produceth THAT!!! Uhhh...Sorry, Jesus. You know, one thing led to another... Why dost thou think I've brought the wrath uponst thee? Thou hast produced two of the most egregious offenses against nature with thy fornication. I'm sorry, Lord, I'll do better next time. There will not be a next time, Mr. Haven. The punishment is that thou must raiseth these beasts as thine own. Dear God, no! A curse be on this family! A curse!

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The giant three-phallused phallus of Uzbekistan will one day squirt the cosmic jizz of revenge all over Canada.

#2

Eggs of Satan 2 by MikeyG 10-30-03

Condoleeza in the Hot Spot You see, the information we received was checked thoroughly, and the speechwriters... So basically, Condoleeza, it sounds like a load of hooey! We rely on information through our intelligence sources. If they were less than accurate, who takes the blame for that? Well gee, douchestain, I guess that's gonna have to be YOU! Wait a sec... What's that swirly shit in the background? And why am I explaining myself to a rabbit with a gun? Who the hell are you? I'm your conscience, beyotch! Now drop trou, I got a metaphorical bullet for yo' ass!

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The giant three-phallused phallus of Uzbekistan will one day squirt the cosmic jizz of revenge all over Canada.

#3

Eggs of Satan 3 by MikeyG 10-30-03

Morgan Deals With a Groupie Um...We haven't made a decision yet, Bel'Zthokth But you KNOW you need a triangle player in a rock band, right? And you are to address me as Bel'Zkthokth, Shapeshifting Demon Ruler of Heck, Hell, And H-E-Double Hockeysticks! Don't leave! Perhaps if I took a more pleasing form, it would influence your decision, yes? Dude, unless you can shapeshift your ass into a goddamn Yuengling, me AND my bitchnipples are outta here. POOF! Don't be so sure, mortal! Aaack! You've routed out MY true form! Well, now that the ice is broken, it's Communion time!

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The giant three-phallused phallus of Uzbekistan will one day squirt the cosmic jizz of revenge all over Canada.

Eggs of Satan 4 by MikeyG 10-31-03

Uncle Velvet is Branching Out Yo, ah needs me a beyotch ta' head up mah Asiatic Opparayshuns. I would be happy to assist you in this endeavor, Uncle Velvet. You prolly gon' hafta EARN yo'seff until you kin git some ho's. Well, my first foster home was in the home of a prominent politician, so I don't have to tell you I am prepared for it. Aight, Pu-Na Ni, you mah new bottom beyotch in da Oh-Ree-Int! Ah'm glad ah kept yo' ass afta ah had ta shank yo' moms. Hey, we can't ALL be perfect.

Eggs of Satan 5 by MikeyG 11-06-03

Ignorance is Piss Hey, where can I find me some crackers? That is highly offensive! Just because you blacks have been discriminated against does not give you the right to be racist! Hey man, I'm serious! My little brother is sick and my mom sent me out to buy Saltines. What? O-oh. Um...sorry. There's a Red Dot Emporium on the corner of 5th and Park. Stupid-ass fishbelly honky mothafuckin' CRACKA... Hey, can I at least get your number? Come back, my Nubian Queen! Let's make milk chocolate!

Eggs of Satan 6 by MikeyG 11-10-03

Morgan's got a million of 'em You eat green grass, you big, fat ass! Did you just insult me? You're such a fag. I know you are, but what am I? Did you really just say that? ...ZING!!! Ok, thanks. I was having irregularity problems, but now the shit seems like it wants to jump right the fuck out of my ass.

Eggs of Satan 7 by MikeyG 11-10-03

Another day in the Philly area Heeeey! Parteeee! I like to fart on my friends. And enemies. Oh, fuck it, I LOVE TO FART!!! My pants are off already! Woo hooooo! Um... I farted!!! Um... Me, too! SPRING BREAK!!! WOO HOOOOOOOO!!!! No, really, man. I farted, and I've got the brown batter splatters. Sorry about the wall behind us. Hey, I've got Bud mud myself. And sorry about the mustache and beard.

Eggs of Satan 8 by MikeyG 11-14-03

Face Wars 2003 Have at thee!!! There can be only ONE! ZZZZZZZZZZZZZAP!!!!!!!!!!!! You shall both perish by my FACE CANCER DEATH RAY!!! Aaaaauuuuggggghhh!!! What a world, what a world, what a woooorrrrrllllddddd.... No one escapes the Face Cancer Death Ray! Except for Michael Jackson. He's immune.

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The giant three-phallused phallus of Uzbekistan will one day squirt the cosmic jizz of revenge all over Canada.

Eggs of Satan 9 by MikeyG 11-21-03

Santa's Got it Rough So what would you like for Christmas, little girl? A belt sander! So what would you like for Christmas, little boy? matches! What would YOU like for Christmas, little...umm...uuummm... A Bentley and some Cristal, nigga! Break me off a li'l som'n som'n fo' shizzle, Santizzle Clizzle!

Eggs of Satan 10 by MikeyG 11-25-03

Mikey Reviews Matrix: Revolutions I've decided to refer to movies by their true nature. Kind of like a summary of what happens, but as concise as possible. I advocate Hollywood naming their movies accordingly. For example, we can rename Matrix: Revolutions 'Keanu 'N Some Other Heads Doin' Stuff With Special Effects.' And this is after actually SEEING the movie. Sure, they may spend a fortune in lettering the Marquees and posters, but truth in advertising is priceless, I say.

Eggs of Satan 11: Swill Bill by MikeyG 11-25-03

Mikey and the Tarantinula I saw Kill Bill, and according to the 'Truth In Titles of Telvision, Images, and Entertainment" system of movie naming, I felt this movie needed to be addressed. The members of the board of TITTIE are all in agreement. This movie shall henceforth be called, "Violence and Feet". For some reason, feet play a recurring role in Tarantino movies. Fortunately, not too many of them stink as badly.

Eggs of Satan 12: Morgan In The Middle: Where he at? by MikeyG 12-02-03

Morgan In The Park § Karma Karma Karma Karma Karma Chameleooooon...§ Hello, American swine. I have come to burn your children. Oh, my! I don't have any kids! But perhaps my life partner and I will be able to adopt someday... I was told the Average American has 2.5 children. Are you not an Average American? No, silly, I'm a Savage American. I make slow, yet violent love to terrorist Kangaroos. ...All right, but really quick. My wife is gonna be here in two shakes.

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The giant three-phallused phallus of Uzbekistan will one day squirt the cosmic jizz of revenge all over Canada.

Eggs of Satan 13: Corporate Crackdown Part 1 by MikeyG 2-10-04

What's that on your computer? Oh, it's the online Blue Book. You shouldn't be on there. Non-work-related internet use is...uh...illegal or something. I looked up the value for one of our residents that asked me to. Well, don't do it again. Right. From now on, it's only sexyteenlesbos.com and fuckchickens.org for me.

Eggs of Satan 14: Corporate Crackdown Part 2 by MikeyG 2-10-04

No, you can't go on any porn sites, either. But fuckchickens.org is not a porn site. Well, it refers to sexual intercourse with barnyard fowl. Says you, nipplehead. Well, smart-ass, what's on the site then? It's uh...like, uh...radical left-wing roosters rebelling against the hen-centric politics of modern barn society, man.

Eggs of Satan 15: Corporate Crackdown Part 3 by MikeyG 2-10-04

Here, let me take a look at your computer, then. My LORD! The lesbian porn on here is enough to fill a....HEY! What are you doing on my PC? www.NAMBLA.org

Eggs of Satan 16: Corporate Crackdown 4 by MikeyG 2-10-04

Hey, what the hell is this you opened on my computer? Oh, just the North American Man-Boy Love Association. Pedophiles? Why, you're SO fired, Mr. G. Pack your stuff. Well, I WOULD have, you see, because of the lesbian porn, but now I can't. I'm sorry. Oh yeah? And why is that, punk-ass? I have a moral obligation to report your pedophilia to the authorities.

Eggs of Satan 17: Corporate Crackdown 5 by MikeyG 2-10-04

What? YOU opened that website! Man, I thought me having lesbian porn is bad enough, but wait until they find out you're a kid-toucher! Well, it was you that opened it, so you're fired. Well, considering I use MY computer to download lesbian porn, it's kinda far-fetched that I would like little boys, too, huh? You'll burn for this, buddy. Man, I can only hope your computer at home is completely clean when the Feds come a-knockin'.

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The giant three-phallused phallus of Uzbekistan will one day squirt the cosmic jizz of revenge all over Canada.

Eggs of Satan 18: Corporate Crackdown 6 by MikeyG 2-10-04

Ok, ok. Can we pretend this whole thing never happened? Well, I dunno. I'm kinda young, how do I know you're not gonna molest me? PLEASE, Mr. G, can we stop this now? I don't know. Ask me again when you've switched to grovel mode. Mr. G, is there anything I can do or give you to stop this? Yeah. I want your nose a fucking hell of a lot browner.

Eggs of Satan 19: Corporate Crackdown 7 by MikeyG 2-10-04

I need to get out of here. I am going to pretend this didn't happen. Suit yourself, Suit. G-goodbye M-Mr. G, I p-promise no m-more of these s-s-silly inspections w-will bother y-you from n-now on. See ya, Sparky. You may want to talk to someone about that stuttering tick you've got there. Bye! Damn, I'm good. www.HotLezSex.com

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The giant three-phallused phallus of Uzbekistan will one day squirt the cosmic jizz of revenge all over Canada.