Hey, everybody! This is my first hosting gig and I am honored and proud to do it.

I would like to thank mmyers for making this possible, and my 1st Grade teacher Mr. Epenfeffenburgenflopper for his inspiring molestation, and my Great Second Uncle-Cousin twice removed...

Sorry, I let it go to my head a little bit there. Rules are as follows:

1) Do not change the first two panels at all
2) Try not to change the characters on the last panel.
3) Have fun and make this interesting!

I'll judge everything on Friday the 12th!

FTC #13: Template by MikeyG 12-09-03

Boy, this year is going to be an interesting one. Why, boss? Production is through the roof, and morale has never been better since we all switched to Geico. That's just it. The Naughty Index is up to 89% this year! We're overstocked! Holy Jizz Turrets, Santa! What are we going to do?

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The giant three-phallused phallus of Uzbekistan will one day squirt the cosmic jizz of revenge all over Canada.

FTC #13: I Like Stories by Rabid_Weasle 12-09-03

Boy, this year is going to be an interesting one. Why, boss? Production is through the roof, and morale has never been better since we all switched to Geico. That's just it. The Naughty Index is up to 89% this year! We're overstocked! Holy Jizz Turrets, Santa! What are we going to do? I hate to interupt your story, Dcom. But when are we going to fuck?

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Poop.

FTC #13: Kaufman's Favorite Christmas Movie by Rabid_Weasle 12-09-03

Boy, this year is going to be an interesting one. Why, boss? Production is through the roof, and morale has never been better since we all switched to Geico. That's just it. The Naughty Index is up to 89% this year! We're overstocked! Holy Jizz Turrets, Santa! What are we going to do? Then Santa said "I'll show you jizz turrets!", and removed his jacket to reveal his muscular chest and chiseled abs...

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Poop.

Enjoy...

Naughty Pussy by NGrassi22 12-09-03

Boy, this year is going to be an interesting one. Why, boss? Production is through the roof, and morale has never been better since we all switched to Geico. That's just it. The Naughty Index is up to 89% this year! We're overstocked! Holy Jizz Turrets, Santa! What are we going to do? See this pussy in my hands? Nice and soft. It's also warm. THAT'S why your on the naughty list.

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It's not the crack, it's the 'caine.

Why That Fat Guy Is So Jolly by Denyer 12-09-03

Boy, this year is going to be an interesting one. Why, boss? Production is through the roof, and morale has never been better since we all switched to Geico. That's just it. The Naughty Index is up to 89% this year! We're overstocked! Holy Jizz Turrets, Santa! What are we going to do? Stupid Santa's keeping all the edible dildos to himself. And that's Why I Hate Christmas.

...his belly shook like a bowl full of KY jelly by xxausrottenxx 12-09-03

Boy, this year is going to be an interesting one. Why, boss? Production is through the roof, and morale has never been better since we all switched to Geico. That's just it! The Naughty Index is up to 98% this year! We're overstocked! Holy Jizz Turrets Santa! What are we going to do? just as the plan has been all along, dress up as two ordinary homosexuals on a binge for bondage toys, and fill the world with the joy it once held so very long ago but santa, theres a republican in the office this plan is never going to wo.....oh fuck it

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xx( o Y o. )xx

FTC #13: Another Crappy Christmas special by fzh 12-09-03

Boy, this year is going to be an interesting one. Why, boss? Production is through the roof, and morale has never been better since we all switched to Geico. That's just it! The Naughty Index is up to 98% this year! We're overstocked! Holy Jizz Turrets Santa! What are we going to do? ....and when I saw Gollum making shameless plugs for Geico and refering to "Holy Jizz Turrets" I decided I was less likely to lose my brains to you than the TV. bbrraaiinnss...

FTC #13: They've been working so long, it's about time by fzh 12-09-03

Boy, this year is going to be an interesting one. Why, boss? Production is through the roof, and morale has never been better since we all switched to Geico. That's just it. The Naughty Index is up to 89% this year! We're overstocked! Holy Jizz Turrets, Santa! What are we going to do? And so, they went into retirement... Finally I can get a good shave and die my hair! I think I looked better in the uniform.

Channel Surfing by ObiJo 12-10-03

Boy, this year is going to be an interesting one. Why, boss? Production is through the roof, and morale has never been better since we all switched to Geico. That's just it. The Naughty Index is up to 89% this year! We're overstocked! Holy Jizz Turrets, Santa! What are we going to do? *CLICK* I can't go on like this, MROWR! Don't you see how they look at us? They don't see we're in love, they only see Man and Zombie! MROWR!

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I ate a hooker half a bottle of knife.

So far, a couple of you silly bastards have made me proud. I can't wait for kaufman's entry.

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The giant three-phallused phallus of Uzbekistan will one day squirt the cosmic jizz of revenge all over Canada.

This is an extremely difficult template to work with.

FTC #13: Bullshittery by IB_XC 12-10-03

Boy, this year is going to be an interesting one. Why, boss? Production is through the roof, and morale has never been better since we all switched to Geico. That's just it. The Naughty Index is up to 89% this year! We're overstocked! Holy Jizz Turrets, Santa! What are we going to do? Hello, I'm kaufman. I'm dcomposed. Nice to finally meet you.

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"Oedipus, you motherfucker!"

Wow what a disjointed comic to finish, kinda liberating really.

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GOVT. Warning: Do not smoke around children they will badger you for fags.

It was my intent to place Kaufman and Dcom in a situation and everyone would have to attempt to relate the dialogue to the seemingly unrelated first two panels.

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The giant three-phallused phallus of Uzbekistan will one day squirt the cosmic jizz of revenge all over Canada.

Ehh, I decided to screw trying to relate the first two panels to the last. Enjoy. ;)

FTC#13: A Very Fox Network Christmas by UnknownEric 12-10-03

Boy, this year is going to be an interesting one. Why, boss? Production is through the roof, and morale has never been better since we all switched to Geico. That's just it. The Naughty Index is up to 89% this year! We're overstocked! Holy Jizz Turrets, Santa! What are we going to do? We'll return to "How Santa Discovered Ebay" after these scenes from tonight's brand new episode of "24." Yes! You're just the person to "dis-arm" the terrorists. What happened to Keifer Sutherland?

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I has a flavor!

I don't know where I get my inspiration from.

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GOVT. Warning: Do not smoke around children they will badger you for fags.

FTC 13 ITS A BIG MOTHA! by laughinginyourface 12-10-03

Boy, this year is going to be an interesting one. Why, boss? Production is through the roof, and morale has never been better since we all switched to Geico. That's just it. The Naughty Index is up to 89% this year! We're overstocked! Holy Jizz Turrets Santa! What are we going to do? That story sucks, there's no pun in. It was my reflexes. Now that I'm down, wanna have sex?

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...and pain joined his urge to percieve...

FTC 13: It's A Dead Man's Party... by UnknownEric 12-10-03

Boy, this year is going to be an interesting one. Why, boss? Production is through the roof, and morale has never been better since we all switched to Geico. That's just it. The Naughty Index is up to 89% this year! We're overstocked! Holy Jizz Turrets, Santa! What are we going to do? So instead of just giving toys to slightly naughty kids, the dumb bastard has me reanimate the dead. Shut up and gimme my Hokey Pokey Elmo.

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I has a flavor!

FTC #13 by Kevin_Keegans_Perm 12-10-03

Boy, this year is going to be an interesting one. Why, boss? Production is through the roof, and morale has never been better since we all switched to Geico. That's just it. The Naughty Index is up to 89% this year! We're overstocked! Holy Jizz Turrets, Santa! What are we going to do? Hey , i bet you thought this last panel was going to contain a punchline. Well dudes , youre shit out of luck. Merry fucking christmas.

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"Life Sucks, Then you Die. The bit inbetween isnt very funny either"

WHOOOO! GO ME!

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Batman created by Bob Kane

On the 13th FTC My True Love Gave to Me ... by kaufman 12-10-03

Boy, this year is going to be an interesting one. Why, boss? Production is through the roof, and morale has never been better since we all switched to Geico. That's just it. The Naughty Index is up to 89% this year! We're overstocked! Holy Jizz Turrets, Santa! What are we going to do? He got nine presents, one for each life. Don't talk to me while I'm shaving -- I just cut myelf, and pretty badly -- this ain't nicked.

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ken.kaufman@gmail.com

Hmmm

Kaufman , was "Myelf" designed as part of the pun, or is it a spelling mistake?

Just curious.

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"Life Sucks, Then you Die. The bit inbetween isnt very funny either"

I think it was probably part of the pun. Elf and Saint Nick in the same line was probably intentional. But we are on a lesser pun plane than kaufman, so one can only speculate. I'll be judging around 4PM Eastern Standard time. Which means about seven hours from whenever this post goes up. Get them last-minute entries in!

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The giant three-phallused phallus of Uzbekistan will one day squirt the cosmic jizz of revenge all over Canada.

FTC 13- The Ken and dcom Christmas special by mmyers 12-11-03

Boy, this year is going to be an interesting one. Why boss? roduction is through the roof, and morale has never been better since we all switched to Geico. That's just it. The Naughty Index is up to 89% this year! We're overstocked! Holy Jizz Turrets, Santa! What are we going to do? I believe the line is "Holy Jizz Slingshot", dcom. We've got to pull this play together or we won't be able to save the orphanage in time for Christmas. Sorry Kaufman. I was trying a little improvisation. We better keep rehearsing.

FTC 13- The Education of Dcomposed by mmyers 12-11-03

Boy, this year is going to be an interesting one. Why boss? roduction is through the roof, and morale has never been better since we all switched to Geico. That's just it. The Naughty Index is up to 89% this year! We're overstocked! Holy Jizz Turrets, Santa! What are we going to do? Kaufman, what's wrong? I just had a terrible feeling. It was as if hundreds of voices cried out at once and then were quickly silenced, but we must continue with the training, dcom. Rip your other arm off.

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Peeing sitting down is the gift you give yourself.

FTC #13: Mostly 'Armless by umfumdisi 12-11-03

Boy, this year is going to be an interesting one. Why boss? roduction is through the roof, and morale has never been better since we all switched to Geico. That's just it. The Naughty Index is up to 89% this year! We're overstocked! Holy Jizz Turrets, Santa! What are we going to do? Great party, dcom! I brought the pussy--just like you asked. I'd kill myself, but I'm already dead.

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Chicken Feather Bed Bugs Bunny Hop Sing Out Side Street Walker Texas Ranger Cookie Dough Boy Wonder Years

I apologize for the "invisible P" in the above comic--I copied off mmyers!

FTC #13: And May All Your Christmases Be White by umfumdisi 12-11-03

Boy, this year is going to be an interesting one. Why boss? Production is through the roof, and morale has never been better since we all switched to Geico. That's just it. The Naughty Index is up to 89% this year! We're overstocked! Holy Jizz Turrets, Ken! What are we going to do? And you're SURE that's what little Johnny asked for? It's right here in the letter--Jizz Turrets.

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Chicken Feather Bed Bugs Bunny Hop Sing Out Side Street Walker Texas Ranger Cookie Dough Boy Wonder Years

quote:

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I apologize for the "invisible P" in the above comic--I copied off mmyers!

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