Convertible School Bus: Objects in the Windshield Appear... by smamurai 12-10-03

OH MY GOD! EVERYBODY GET DOWN, GET DOWN ON THE FLOOR! Wha? They shouldn't let a guy with one eye drive the bus. We've been under that bridge a hundred times this term and we haven't hit it once. His brother is Janitor Bilge from our school. They both have no depth perception It's sad. I watched him for over an hour yesterday trying to sweep a soccer ball into a milkshake carton.

Convertible School Bus: Standing Broom Toe-nly by smamurai 12-10-03

OUCH!! WHAT'S HAPPENING BACK THERE? IS THERE A KID IN PAIN? Janitor Bilge, would it be fair to say that having only one eye has left you depth perceptively challenged? WHY YOU CHEEKY DEVIL, I HAVE A GOOD MIND TO RUN OVER THERE AND GIVE YOU A DAMN GOOD THRASHING. Isn't it enough that you are already crushing my foot with your size fourteens?

Convertible School Bus: Diploma-Tricks by smamurai 12-11-03

My dad could so kick your dads ass. Yeah right. My mom could kick your dads skinny ass. Not any more. My dad is a major fundraiser for the towns Ju-Jitsu club. So? So last week at a fundraising dinner they gave him an honorary blackbelt. Great. He musta been all like ........... 'I know Ju-Jitsu??'

Convertible School Bus: Trading Spaces by smamurai 12-11-03

Ok children we are going to be stuck in this snowdrift for a while. Feel free to tuck into your lunchboxes. Mmmmn! I got roast chicken and pesto on a toasted ciabatta roll. I got peanut butter and jelly. Yeeuch! I got salad sandwiches. I got about enough for a couple of well packed bowls, what do you have? Some Tipp-ex thinner and a pen-knife. Wanna trade?

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GOVT. Warning: Do not smoke around children they will badger you for fags.

Convertible School Bus: Hairy Muffler by smamurai 12-11-03

We haven't seen that crazy dog for a while have we? You know, the one that always chases after the bus? I've seen bits of him. WHAT? He finally managed to catch up with the bus earlier in the week. How do you know that? His nose is still stuck in the exhaust pipe.

Convertible School Bus: Air Conditioned Like a Motherfucker! by smamurai 12-11-03

HA ha ha! Are you ready? Hee hee! Yeah, just do it man. I did it. OH MAN, THAT'S DISGUSTING, HA HA HA. JESUS, IT FUCKING STINKS ..... IT .... it ..... it's gone? Maybe we should keep the other stink-bombs for inside the school.

Convertible School Bus: Don't Make Eye-Contact by smamurai 12-11-03

Now I know that you kids smoke and I want you to stop. Not only does it stunt your growth but it actually makes you shrink. Shrink? I think you must be mistaken there Janitor Bilge. Oh yeah? I found a Zippo under the Coke machine in the yard. No normal healthy boy could fit under there for a sneaky smoke. Perhaps someone just, kicked it under there by mistake? I can't imagine a six inch tall boy being able to kick a Zippo lighter very far, do you? No, what I meant was... um ... um ... please stop talking to me.

Convertible School Bus: Shivery Chivalry by smamurai 12-12-03

Janitor Bilge is freaky weird man. He's not all bad. Example? At Lake Skwatcha last week this lady was about to go in for a swim. Mr Bilge threw his overcoat in the lake and said she could step across now, without getting her feet wet. I suppose his heart was in the right place. What did the woman do? The lady ran off screaming. He probably forgot he was naked underneath his coat. All painted up like that.

2nd term, is over. Schools out baby.

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GOVT. Warning: Do not smoke around children they will badger you for fags.

Ratings people, I want ratings.

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GOVT. Warning: Do not smoke around children they will badger you for fags.

uhhh.... not bad but not funny. there ok. im bad too but thats ok.. yull do better if u have something to rite about. people told me mine suck. read presidents get toomuch attention to see. but these werent that bad. tell me wat u think of mine.

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YEAH PRESIDENT!

Your 'avin a bubble bath aintcha?

Bump.

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GOVT. Warning: Do not smoke around children they will badger you for fags.

I couldn't get through them all. The setups were elaborate but the punchlines were weak, and occasionally premature or given away early. Also, you're trying to do too much with that background; it doesn't really work.

I'd suggest reading some GOOD comics, taking notes, and not kvetching when you get lousy feedback for the first 400 comics or so. Just because we tell you your comics suck doesn't mean we don't love you.*

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*Although we don't.

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peddling the funny around since 09/24/2002