or something, please critic' moi.

Feeling Less Than Fragrant? by smamurai 1-05-04

Oh, I feel all bunged up. I am just not my light and airy self today. Do you have something you need to get off your lower chest? Have a lot of shit to deal with? Try new improved fast-acting Colon-Slick Tablets. La-la-la-la ta-da-dee-dum-dee, ohhhh yeah!! Hey girl, you ready to go? Wow you look as if you could take the world on today. I feel like I could. That's because I just took a massive 5 Kilo shit. Thanx Colon-Slick, It's so fast I never even had time to get out the shower.

Sturdy McMare - Political Commentator. by smamurai 1-06-04

So the headlines once again. 3 British were deported from Ibiza, hat prices are up and 40,000 foreign people died in a natural disaster. On a lighter note Mann bites dog. Famous guy Manfred Mann chowed down on his pet canine today, after it ran off with his flute. Ha ha ha. And now for todays political comment with our resident ex-porn star, Sturdy McMare. Sturdy, have you ever bitten a dog? No Jenny, not with my technique, although I did once get a camel foreskin caught in my braces.

Sturdy McMare - Weather-Girl by smamurai 1-06-04

It seems those crazy Japanese are at it again. The latest craze to sweep the Land of the Rising Sun is sex pheromones 'It's big business' says our Japanican correspondent. In fact most pheremone vending machines are sold-out leading to fears of a shortage. And here with the weather is our resident weather-girl, ex-porn star Sturdy McMare. Sturdy have you ever though about selling your pheromones? Whats under my fingernails stays under my fingernails Jenny.

Sturdy McMare - Newsroom Janitor by smamurai 1-06-04

And so the boffins concluded that seagulls actually benefit from bathing in crude oil. It seems they love the stuff. That's all from Channel 3 news, I am Jenny Vapid, good night and God bless. Sturdy I want you to shuffle these papers for me and I think I might have spilled a packet of Cheetos under the desk, clear that up will you. Tell the producer I am ready to sleep with him now.

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GOVT. Warning: Do not smoke around children they will badger you for fags.

Colon Slick.

Fuckin' sick.

I love it :)

XD sounds like that fake commercial for "Butt Mints" that they used to play over the radio all the time.

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I will rate you hard, and unendingly.

A new one.

Pint of Tea Please. by smamurai 1-07-04

Dude! We gotta get outta here. This bar is for old people. We're the only ones here and we're young. The machine in the toilet dispenses tartan blankets! Let's finish our scones and get outta here.

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GOVT. Warning: Do not smoke around children they will badger you for fags.