Well, seems I'm in the hot seat for the first and possibly the only time. As long as I gotcha, here it is:

This comic competition is a double competition. A finalist will be chosen from each competition, and then they will get a chance to square off in the Finals. Hence finalists. *ahem*

Part I is the Aggressive Challenge. Your job is to take this comic:

CC 236 Aggressive Challenge: Pilot by codehappykid 3-06-04

Why is the lamp hovering?

...and carry on the story by making a new comic using the last panel and two entirely new ones. When multiple storylines arise, each stripper continues from the last comic he or she did in any/all storylines active. The winner will be the last person to post a comic in the most coherent storyline by Thursday the 11th at 12:00 noon (US Central time). You can make as many as you want in this competition.

Part II is the Passive Challenge, wherein you must post a link to an engrish.com example and a comic based off it. In this competition, each user may post no more than five comics. All the rest are disquality.

The Finals: the winner of each part may post up to five freestyle comics. I will decide the Ultimate Winner based on whose comics are funnier in the end. The finals will begin on Friday the 12th at 12:00 noon and will be judged on Saturday the 13th at 12:00 noon (US Central time in both cases).

Let's see what kind of nightmare I've gotten us all into.

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HALPUU!

Here's the first one for reference again.

CC 236 Aggressive Challenge: Pilot by codehappykid 3-06-04

Why is the lamp hovering?

And I don't know if I'm doing the second one right, but when have I let my ignorance stop me before?

CC 236: Red Bull (Episode 2) by umfumdisi 3-06-04

Why is the lamp hovering? That is not the correct question, my son. Well what is? The correct question is "Why is the vacuum Hoovering?" Rats. I was going to ask "Why is this comic wirthling?"

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Chicken Feather Bed Bugs Bunny Hop Sing Out Side Street Walker Texas Ranger Cookie Dough Boy Wonder Years

CC 236: Refursive Functions by kaufman 3-06-04

The correct question is "Why is the vacuum Hoovering?" Rats. I was going to ask "Why is this comic wirthling?" Why is this comic me? And if I am something inside this comic, am I inside myself? And if so, by that measure, is a little cell in my finger actually another comic? And then are my sperm just potential comics, impressed with miniature Asian girls? What about the Y-chromosome ones? Kajun, did you get Wirthling stoned again?

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ken.kaufman@gmail.com

CC236: Hovering? by fuzzyman 3-07-04

Why is the lamp hovering? The lamp's not hovering. You're having another psychotic episode. Really! Yes. So tell me the last thing you remember. I was looking for a new tea set in a china shop...

CC236: STATUS CLITICAL: The Musical by fuzzyman 3-07-04

I don't know much about things political! But when I see Bill Clinton it's STATUS CLITICAL! I'm not deep enough to get all analytical! All I know is "Me so horny" so STATUS CLITICAL! If I gave you five dollars would that be hypocritical? I don't care! Do me now! It's STATUS CLITICAL!

Based on...

http://www.engrish.com/detail.php?imagename=clitical.jpg&category=Anime/Manga&date=2002-10-21

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...Trot and Cap'n Bill were free from anxiety and care. Button-Bright never worried about anything. The Scarecrow, not being able to sleep, looked out of the window and tried to count the stars.

CC 236: The Pitch by BigEvilDan 3-07-04

I just don't get it. The show looked great on paper. Come on, surely you saw this coming. Not at all. "Queer Eye" and the WWE were both popular, so combining the two seemed natural. It was just a bunch of sissy guys slapping each other! The audience didn't know whether to be offended or bored. I just don't understand what went wrong. You honestly have no idea why Ultimate Faghting Championship failed?

Engrish here: http://www.engrish.com/detail.php?imagename=ufc.jpg&category=Video%20Games&date=2002-10-07

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"Oh, look, a joke! How original! Thank you, but if I wanted my emotions stimulated pleasurably, I'd get a whore." - Donald B. Jones III

CC236: Christian-Bot, AWAY! by fzh 3-07-04

Wanna hear a joke? sure! So a monkey, a priest, and Bill Clinton walk into a bar, and... AHA! It is me, God-Jesus!

base on http://www.engrish.com/detail.php?imagename=god-jesus.jpg&category=Toys&date=2002-10-16

CC236: Where Have All the Cowboy Physics Gone? by MikeyG 3-08-04

And then are my sperm just potential comics, impressed with miniature Asian girls? What about the Y-chromosome ones? Kajun, did you get Wirthling stoned again? Cunting right, tosser. Listen, if you contend that I concede the concept of a cracked-out celestial cranium contemplating his comic continuance, it commits me to a conundrum. Had we been talking about kittens, Brad would have just used a-litter-ation! I've got nothing.

[br]
[br]
Engrish entry:
http://www.engrish.com/detail.php?imagename=cafedecancer.jpg&category=Signs/Posters&date=2003-11-11

CC236: If you can't beat 'em, put it on the menu! by MikeyG 3-08-04

This is bogus, man. All I want is a damn cigarette! I know. Smoking in public places, indoors, is outlawed almost everywhere now. I just wish there was a way around it, you know? There is! Really? How? The Café de Cancer! Everything on the menu is a carcinogen! There's ALWAYS a way around the system, man. Let's go.

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The giant three-phallused phallus of Uzbekistan will one day squirt the cosmic jizz of revenge all over Canada.

Chicken:

CC 236: So Shall It Be Written... by umfumdisi 3-08-04

With divine harrassment, God-Jesus giveth thus fifth written oats: 1. It happens for the damege of our store equipement by a quest's fault. and let me request it at cost. 2. It is remarkable to the quests such as in our store. and it may have it leave (an act to trouble) to the done one. 3. when it has a set up and so on changed on purpose. the next presence is sometimes refused in the internet. 4. It is hardly responsible about the trouble or the internet in our store at all. 5. It has a reissue charge on the one that is has our store membership card damaged as to loss in case of a reissue. Amen.

Egg:
http://www.engrish.com/detail.php?imagename=written-oath.jpg&category=Instructions&date=2002-10-23

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Chicken Feather Bed Bugs Bunny Hop Sing Out Side Street Walker Texas Ranger Cookie Dough Boy Wonder Years

CC 236: Multi-Chopper by kaufman 3-09-04

Anyone home? Come on, open up. Open up. I just want to talk to you a bit about Jesus. I know you're in there, but I can knock all day. Now, be very careful out there. Rodriguez is known for hitting below the belt, and he's liable to give you a good one if he feels the need. It's not a problem, Doc. I'm protected. The most or less great number of knocks determines the fineness of cup. We're talking mithril, here.

http://www.engrish.com/detail.php?imagename=chopper-mandlball@aolcom.jpg&category=Instructions&date=2002-10-04

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ken.kaufman@gmail.com

Well, this is interesting. Let the judging be known:

I) For the Aggressive Challenge, there were two storylines created. One of them only lasted two comics, while the other was longer. I think they both made about the same amount of sense, so I gotta go with the longer one. And that means the winner of this part is: MikeyG!

II) After careful examination, and whittling it down one at a time, I find that the funniest of these is "So Shall It Be Written..." and hence the winner of this part is: umfumdisi!

Starting tomorrow at noon, or maybe right now, depending on how you guys feel, the finals will begin! Good luck to you both and may the better stripper (with regard to this contest) win!

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HALPUU!

Once again proving Fuzzyman's rule: Every time I think I have it in the bag, I don't. And when I absolutely don't expect to win, I do.

I figured SITUATION CLITICAL was a slam dunk. Ah well.

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...Trot and Cap'n Bill were free from anxiety and care. Button-Bright never worried about anything. The Scarecrow, not being able to sleep, looked out of the window and tried to count the stars.

Cool! Thanks, codehappykid! I'm especially happy because my opponent is umfumdisi! I am honored to compete against such a stripper. Good luck, umfum!

Every Martial Arts Movie I've Ever Seen by MikeyG 3-12-04

shit.

The Conclusion of Every Martial Arts Movie I've Ever Seen by MikeyG 3-12-04

Thanks for the warm-up.

Demonz by MikeyG 3-12-04

Daddy, daddy! Yes, son? I love kittens! No, no, no! We CLUB kittens! Arxfarxl, how many times do I have to tell you we're DEMONS! We... *mew* Aaaww! Widdwe kittikins wanna pway scwatchy scwatchy?

This next one might gross out a few people.

Penis-Eye view of a Menstruating Vagina by MikeyG 3-12-04

Oh Great and Holy... by MikeyG 3-12-04

OH, GREAT MASTER OF ALL THINGS! OH HOLY POWER OF THE UNIVERSE! IMPART UPON US YOUR GREAT WISDOM AND TEACHINGS! Shut the fuck up! I'm trying to take a nap, asshole!

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The giant three-phallused phallus of Uzbekistan will one day squirt the cosmic jizz of revenge all over Canada.

STATUS CLITICAL actually came pretty close, fuzzyman. It was one of the last two I considered. I just had to give it to umfum because he used the entire Engrish in a totally unexpected way.

Sorry about that.

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HALPUU!

Hmm, I hope I don't have to extend the judging time. There's about a halfhour left for the other finalist to make some comics...

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HALPUU!

...and the time has been called! No more comics accepted after this post!

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HALPUU!

Good/bad news:

The bad: I regret to announce that we have a winner by default.

The good: MikeyG, the next comic competition is yours.

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HALPUU!

On Friday night I saw that MikeyG had made the last post to this competition. I thought he had made another regular entry. Then, I actually read MikeyG's ninja comics without realizing they were entries for the finals because they weren't titled "CC 236--Face-Off:" or something similar. Oh well.

And I was out of town today. Sorry for the letdown. [br] Too bad fuzzyman couldn't take my place.

Make us a grand contest, Mikey.

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Chicken Feather Bed Bugs Bunny Hop Sing Out Side Street Walker Texas Ranger Cookie Dough Boy Wonder Years

Nooooo! Can we give umfum one last chance to create some comics? It's my fault for not putting the CC in front of the titles. Hey, codehappy, I hate to do this to you, and you have NO idea how badly I want this contest, but I HAVE to win it fairly. Umfum rocks.

Codehappy, can umfum toss in some late entry comix?

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The giant three-phallused phallus of Uzbekistan will one day squirt the cosmic jizz of revenge all over Canada.

That's a noble gesture, Mikey. Thank you.

If codehappykid decides to allow them, here are five comics I just made (turned out they were a series).

Blunder Twins--Ruminate! by umfumdisi 3-17-04

What's going on, Super Sis? According to this Yahoo article, John Kerry is gaining in popularity and could defeat President Bush in the election! The horror! We've got to do something. WAIT! The article also states that a monkey with half a brain and no balls could beat W. Speaking of dumb, castrated monkeys, there's Glorp!

Blunder Twins--Activate! by umfumdisi 3-17-04

Glorp, glorp-glorp, glorp. You're right, Glorp, Sis and I should change into our costumes. BLUNDER TIWN UNIFORMS--ACTIVATE! BLUNDER TIWN UNIFORMS--ACTIVATE! Did you forget to pick up the dry cleaning? Dookie.

Blunder Twins--Transformate! by umfumdisi 3-17-04

I guess we can still transform without our uniforms. You go first. No, you always want me to go first so you can be something cooler. We'll transform at the same time. Fine. FORM OF SOMETHING ... MODERATELY USEFUL! FORM OF SOMETHING ... PATENTLY USELESS! *MORPH!* Sweet, I'm running Windows 98. Would you like help with your document?

Blunder Twins--Complicate! by umfumdisi 3-17-04

Okay, Super Bro, are you ready to compose? Sure, we'll write a negative article about Kerry, slip it into the Associated Press feed, and the story will spread from there. Um, what should we write? Let's say he supports gay marriages ...AND euthanasia for the elderly! Nice work, Super Bro. Should we use the spellchecker? Way ahead of you, and I didn't find any problems.

Blunder Twins--Candidate! by umfumdisi 3-17-04

Our last story tonight, Senator John Kerry received an unexpected surge in the polls thanks to an anonymous article from AP. What the... heck-a-roonie? The article stated that Preisdential hopeful Kerry "supports hay carriages and providing Asian youths for the elderly." This news will help Kerry gain votes from farmers, unemployed Asians, and even more elder-Americans. Goodnight.

And that's why they're called the Blunder Twins.

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Chicken Feather Bed Bugs Bunny Hop Sing Out Side Street Walker Texas Ranger Cookie Dough Boy Wonder Years

Man, now I really hope codehappy doesn't allow them, you magnificent bastard! I quite enjoyed the Blunder Twins. As a matter of fact, I would like to request permission to use them in a comic. I have lots of great telephone-esque blunders for them to make.

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The giant three-phallused phallus of Uzbekistan will one day squirt the cosmic jizz of revenge all over Canada.

Go ahead, you and the Blunder Twins have fun. I don't mind.

If codehappykid doesn't respond in a couple of days, maybe we should just start the next CC together. Any opinions?

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Chicken Feather Bed Bugs Bunny Hop Sing Out Side Street Walker Texas Ranger Cookie Dough Boy Wonder Years

I'll pm you.

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The giant three-phallused phallus of Uzbekistan will one day squirt the cosmic jizz of revenge all over Canada.

Can we watch?

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I has a flavor!

Criminey, but I thought this was decided :)
I'll review the latest development and get back to you in three or four minutes.

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HALPUU!

Ok, it has been decided (again).

The winner by a score of 4-1 in the Finals is: umfum!

However, because of the circumstances surrounding this competition's outcome, I am allowing the winner to share the next competition with his noble opponent should he so choose.

Game on, gentlemen! I'm looking forward to the next competition.

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HALPUU!