"FART! -- The Musical" part one by biped 5-25-04

Oh, I love to cut farts -- it's the finest of arts -- And my farts smell like something just died! And as Socrates stated, once your shorts are inflated -- -- then your farts can be spread far and wide! So, F-A-R-T -- deedle-dee-dee -- farty fart-fart, yes indeed. It's a beautiful thing, when your pooties take wing-- and they cause people's noses to bleed!

"FART! -- The Musical" part two by biped 5-25-04

One day, in a lurch, I was farting in church, till the horrible smell reached the pulpit... ...and the preacher passed out, and the choir ran about, so they wouldn't continue to gulp it! But when farting in school, I remember the rule, that it has to be stealthy and quiet... ...so the kids can still study, while I'm blowing my butty, till the smell starts a panic-filled riot! So, F-A-R-T -- deedle-dee-dee -- farting is good for your system. Just lock the front door, and cut farts by the score, till you're sure everybody has whiffed 'em!

"FART! -- The Musical" part three by biped 5-25-04

Now just one thing more -- if you fart in a store -- make sure that you're walking around... It distributes the smell, from aisle A to aisle L, and the culprit can never be found! So rip 'em and blast 'em, no smell can outlast 'em, if you've eaten the right kind of foods... And a word to the wise -- chicks are smaller in size -- but their farts can be worse than a dude's! So, F-A-R-T -- deedle-dee-dee -- make it sound like you've stepped on a toad. Pass some gas at your friends, till their sanity ends, and they feel like their heads will explode!

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Legend, oh legend, the third wheel legend...always in the way.