With only a few hours to go before my plane flight, I've been thinking pretty hard about what to present for the glorious WW22. Then it dawned on me (ok, I ran out of ideas):

World's worst thing to say to a religious leader

It could be the pope, a nun, jesus, god, your mom (if she runs a church and molests choir boys).

So there you go. Start flogging the bishop at will!

(judging will be around the end of next week, probably Fri, Sat, or Sun right after church)

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"AthiestDiary, you rock." - MikeyG (I'm LOVED! HOORAH!)

WW 22: World's worst things to say to a religious leader by biped 7-17-04

I just found a picture of you and Corey Feldman, circa 1982. What if God was one of us, just a slob like one of us. I am a talking coyote.

WW 22: World's worst things to say to a religious leader II by biped 7-17-04

Your "Joe Millionaire" audition tape has been rejected. I am the ghost of the dolphin that was in the tuna sandwich you ate for lunch. I am Invisible Dave, Professional Priest Baffler.

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Legend, oh legend, the third wheel legend...always in the way.

Disclaimer: posted by a ULC minister:

WW XXII by r2_d2 7-17-04

Whadaya say we use those candles to fire up the incense and put Dark Side of the Moon on the turntable? I'm just a sweet Transvestite / From Transexual, Transylvania, a-ha! Like I always say, "Ghandi is dandy, but liquour is quicker!"

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And another go at it:

WW XXII, Part II by r2_d2 7-17-04

Hello, Dalai! There goes the Holy Father in the Popemobile. Wow, he's like the boy in the bubble! Would you like to try our Sausage McMuffin?

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This one was inspired by an actual statement made to a priest by someone I know.

Eucharist or "Is This REALLY What Your Messiah Tasted Like?" by Externalization 7-17-04

I christened myself when the vision appeared. He was two-dimensional and had long hair. He appeared in the bush, I am not joking. The burning bush that I was smoking. You see right through me and the way I am. It's not because of my beliefs that I was damned. Though you wear flesh, we're of the same kin. We're all cardboard under the skin. I speak with my messiah every day. Pull him out of his draw, unfold him, and pray. Cardboard Messiah; They pinned him to a cross. Cardboard Messiah; He often ripped for his own cause. The resurrection's coming. He will return home. Let's hope next time he'll be made of styrofoam.

WW 22: Confuse a Penguin by Spankling 7-17-04

So you're married to god! I bet he's got a bone that could choke a rino! You aint no sista! So that's a habit? You know, I got a few habits of my own...

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"Jelly-belly gigglin, dancin and a-wigglin, honey that's the way I am!" Janice the Muppet

WW 22: Just because i can.. by CrimsonGhost 7-18-04

I like-a do.. da cha cha... Thank you god! I thought barn rasings were for muslims? ... So.. Please help me...

WW 22: I feel like i'm going to throw up... by CrimsonGhost 7-18-04

I keep on missing.. boo ... don't ph34r tha jeSus...

WW XXII by possums 7-18-04

You'll be NUN too happy to learn that my SISTER'S got a cannibalistic HABIT. Boy, am I ever a nubile 8-year old! I'm here for the NAMBLA meeting.

Trilogic idiocy by yourdogsmom17 7-18-04

High Five, Homie! So did it hurt? Uh... wanna play bloody knuckles?

Joobs!

It makes them go down easier... by Externalization 7-19-04

Back in seminary school, we used to play a little game with the eucharist. It's not the same one I'm thinking of, is it? We'd all stand around in a circle and jerk off on the waffers. Yeah, yeah, and the guy who comes last has to eat all the waffers with the other guy's semen on them, right? I always played to lose.

Alright, folks, I be back in da hizzouse and I'm likin' what I see so far!

Judging will be in a few days.

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"AthiestDiary, you rock." - MikeyG (I'm LOVED! HOORAH!)

WW22-damn fingernail by xxausrottenxx 7-22-04

your nut's hangin out.

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xx( o Y o. )xx

There's one religion founder we've yet to hit ...

WW22: Old MF Hubbard by kaufman 7-22-04

I'm so pleased to meet you, Mr. Hubbard. Battlefield Earth was the FUNNIEST movie I've ever seen. Yo, Ellie, love your work. Could you sign your Diuretics for me? Elron? Elron Hubbard? I hardly recognized you. You've really grown since you were the boy on The Jetsons.

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ken.kaufman@gmail.com

Ok, judging will be within about 24 hours or so, so better make some awesome last minute strips to tantalize my holy scepter!

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"AthiestDiary, you rock." - MikeyG (I'm LOVED! HOORAH!)

RELIGION IS FO FOOLS by possums 7-23-04

On the set of Kundun... If you could just wait over there, we're going to have to use a Dalai shot. Eyy, mon... SIGNOR!! I really don't give a shit about repentance.

Have You Had a Chat With Jesus Today? by possums 7-23-04

Up high! Down low! Oooh! Too slow! Braaak! Mary was a cuntbag! Mary was a cuntbag! Hee-hoo! Braaak! Doppleganger!

I can't stop ch-ch-ch-churning them out.

WW 22: World's worst things to say to a religious leader III by biped 7-24-04

What does it say? "Dear Father Muckle: I will never visit your church because you have been ba-aa-aad. Signed, Church Goat." Who are you? I'm Church Goat's representative. He sent me here to eat your shorts. Church Goat! You changed your mind about visiting my church! Not really. I'm just here to marry your mom.

WW 22: World's worst things to say to a religious leader IV by biped 7-24-04

Mom, you married Church Goat? Yes, and he's adopting you. So now your name is Father Goat, and you have to call him "Daa-aa-aad." What's wrong, Daa-aa-aad? Your mom just got hit by a bus. So I'll be expecting you to pack your stuff and get out of the house. And yes, I've counted the silverware. May I have some of your beans, Smelly Old Dan? Nope. (burp) But I saw a dead rat next to your cardboard box -- I reckon it'll fry up good enough to suit you, Goat-Boy.

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Legend, oh legend, the third wheel legend...always in the way.

Sixish hours to go ......

oh the suspense is giving me a boner!

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"AthiestDiary, you rock." - MikeyG (I'm LOVED! HOORAH!)

Well I was going to judge tonight, but now that I'm at a massive party (in my mind), I'll be judging tomorrow after church ... *snicker*

Get those last minute entries in, you sexy beasts!

Hail Santa!

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"AthiestDiary, you rock." - MikeyG (I'm LOVED! HOORAH!)

YOU BASTARD!!! YOU COMPLETE AND UTTER BASTARD!!!

WW 22: This Is The Last One... I Promise by possums 7-25-04

Weren't you in a movie recently? Just white and black? YOU RACIST!! Hey, nice nails, dude!

Well, I must say this was a difficult one to judge. All entries had me rolling (joints). Honorable mentions go to Biped, Kaufman, xxausrottenxx, spankling, r2_d2, and externalization. But the one that got me the most was:

Have You Had a Chat With Jesus Today? by possums 7-23-04

Up high! Down low! Oooh! Too slow! Braaak! Mary was a cuntbag! Mary was a cuntbag! Hee-hoo! Braaak! Doppleganger!

So congrats, Possums, you smarmy twat muncher! I pass the holy grail to thee!

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"AthiestDiary, you rock." - MikeyG (I'm LOVED! HOORAH!)

Holy flaming Stankonia, Batman! TWO at once? I think the laws of physics just broke. I'll have the newest one up in two... er... shots of margheritas.

By the way, I really liked the "Up high, down low" one. You can just imagine the holy wrath that our poor 9-eyed smartass got.