With erection day close at hand, I wanted to remind everyone just how much your vote counts.

If Voting Could Change the System, It Would be Illegal. by Externalization 9-07-04

Vote for change! Vote for change! I hate to tell you this, buddy, but change ain't on the ballot. Sure it is. If we all vote for Kerry, we can end this war and take back all the freedoms Bush has eroded in America. But Kerry voted for the war, the Patriot Act, the Indecency Act, and everything else Bush's done the past four years. But... but... all those musicians and movie stars are saying that we need to change things by voting. Ah, Hollywood and the recording industry... Now that's where I'd like to see the first "regime change."

Shadowplay by Externalization 9-07-04

I don't understand why you aren't willing to vote for a new president. I'm immune to the hype. Democrats and Republicans are all just actors in the same troupe. They take turns playing the heroes and villains while working together on the same production. Their play is the status quo, and the show must go on regardless of who is in the lead role. So what would help, then? Assassinating the president? Haven't you ever seen Game of Death? Or at least The Crow?

Voting Is For Old People by Externalization 9-07-04

Okay, maybe voting won't really change anything, but it couldn't hurt, right? Except that it's an expression of powerlessness in the individual and legitimizes anything the government decides to do. But for a revolution to happen, don't people have to get together and do something? Exactly, and voting diverts the brainwashed masses from doing anything substantial. Voting makes me happy. So does crystal meth.

Ich habe nur Befehle befolgt. by Externalization 9-07-04

If you don't vote, you have no right to complain. Have you ever tried putting a second of thought into how that tired old slogan is supposed to make any sense? By voting, you are agreeing to abide by whatever consequences or decisions come about as a result the voting process. Even if "your side" loses the election, you have still voted for the only government we've ever had. Wait... so that would mean that I'm the one with no right to complain? I'll see you at the war crimes tribunal, you imperialist swine.

So Bad Bad Rock, This Here Revolution Rock by Externalization 9-07-04

Bad Religion, Suicide Machines, and Anti-Flag all told me to vote for Kerry, so I'm going to. Face it, all your favorite socialist punk bands have capitalist investments to protect. They aren't going to urge you to do anything that will hurt the system they depend on. Punkvoter.org! Preventing youth revolt so the thought police don't have to.

Keep On Rockin' in the Security State by Externalization 9-07-04

So are you sure you're going to feel all right if Bushitler wins the election? No skin off my sack. I just hope it'll keep improving all my favorite bands. Hmm, good point. KMFDM, Ministry, and NoFX just released their best albums in years. Public Enemy and Spearhead are all charged up. Hell, even fucking Green Day's got something to say now. I don't suppose anyone's going to release a Rock Against Kerry CD, huh? No, and I'll be DAMNED if I'm going to have to learn to do-see-doe!

Staticism by Externalization 10-27-04

Caesars come and Caesars go. The rule remains unchanged. Republics crumble, dictators fall. The proletariat starts to complain. Propaganda artists have their fun plucking the lion's mane. Ball of authority bounced back and forth. Freedom floats away in the rain. Work within the system, man. I swear it's not in vain. "The System" is the problem! Has the whole world gone insane?

For Sale To the Lowest Bidder by Externalization 10-27-04

Come on, you have to vote this year! I'll get you Slayer tickets if you do. All right, fine, but I'll have you know, I'm voting for Bush. Bush??? But you hate Bush! I also hate humanity and society. What better way to fuck with them then by helping Bush? I just felt a chill down my spine. I like to call that "the creeping realization of truth."

Polling the Constituency by Externalization 10-27-04

Who do you support in this election, sir? Bush? Kerry? Nader? My vote'll be going to the rich old white American imperialist Christian male. Um... I'm afraid you'll have to be more specific, sir. You know, the one who's out of touch with reality? Has his own sinister agenda? Still no help, sir. Screw it. I'll just flip a coin.

Don't forget to feed the beast that's fucking you.

*Applause*

Best series I've seen in months. And sadly, oh so true...

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I has a flavor!

In case you missed the memo: Marx is obsolete. History has shown that, far from being a liberating philosophy, Marxism is the true method to manipulate the masses into revolution. Once the people have secured the power of the Marxist elite, the same people are oppressed by that elite in every aspect of their lives.

Marxism is the greatest slavery possible and passes itself off as the only means to true liberation. No wonder Marxists find so much fault with logic.

quote:

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*Applause*

Best series I've seen in months. And sadly, oh so true...

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Yes, he was replaced by the Dodge Stratus.

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I has a flavor!

Funny stuff.

You could at least go write in Tobor.

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The what mentioned above is total fiction. Please don't take it seriously!

That's actually pretty close to where I was going with this. :-D
See? Great minds think.

Fictional Reality by Externalization 11-02-04

So you voted, right? Yeah. I feel so dirty. Am I a sellout? Dude, you did it for Slayer tickets! That is a worthy cause, but still... SLAAA-YEERRRR!!!! Oddly enough, I do feel a little better now.

Americanized by Externalization 11-02-04

Please tell me you didn't really vote for Bushitler. No, I had a change of heart while in the booth. I realized who should really be in charge. Who? Oderus Urungus of GWAR. I'm not sure he's eligible. Wasn't he born on another planet or something? Shit! Your right! I've thrown away my vote!

My favorite jokes are always the ones I don't expect anyone else to appreciate.

Non-Sequitur Donkey Makes an Ass of Himself by Externalization 11-02-04

Hmm, I appear to be the straight man here. Clearly not the point of view character. And I seem to be the exaggerated personification of the author's cynical side. I'm portrayed as a liberal Democrat/quasi-socialist, implying that leftists will be the butt of these jokes. Yes, but due to my detached nihilistic attitude, I can stab at all political ideologies simultaneously. In case you missed the memo: Marx is obsolete.

My vote doesn't count because I'm only 17....And I'm Canadian.

That which follows does not follow...

See, you do love teh Marxist logik!

quote:

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That which follows does not follow...

See, you do love teh Marxist logik!

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I'll Try Not To Say "I Told You So." by Externalization 11-03-04

It was so close. So close! A race that close means that both candidates ultimately failed to win the public's approval. You're probably happy about everyone being miserable, huh? Of course. A miserable American public is exactly what the world needs most right now. This is no time to be seeing the big picture. This day shall live in infamy! You know, I think it just suddenly dawned on me why the terrorists hate us.

Always Look on the Bright Side of Life (*whistles*) by Externalization 11-03-04

It's the end of the world. It's the end of the world. Oh, come on. It's not so bad. Try to look on the bright side. Bright side? Try naming one single positive thing about Bushitler being elected. Um... we're still only four "unfortunate accidents" away from having our first black president? Bullshit! Everyone knows that Bill Clinton was the first black American president! There's just going to be no cheering you up for the next four years, is there?

I'm Gonna Sing the Doom Song Now! Doom Doom Doom... by Externalization 11-03-04

We're not safe anymore. Dubya's going to start WWIII. We're all doomed. Your security is not in the hands of Kerry or Bush or al Qaeda. Your security is in your own hands. I guess you're ri--Wait! Did you just fucking quote Osama bin Laden??? Well it's just a good quote is all. It doesn't mean-- You just quoted fucking Osama bin Laden!!! I was just... you know... all right, all right, forget I said anything. Jeez.

Beating a Dead Horse by Externalization 11-03-04

I'm so fucking depressed today. I bet I know how to make you happy again. No. No matter what you're thinking, it won't work. SLAAAY-EERRR!!!!! Hey, what do you know? It worked! See? In the end, you always go back to what's really important.

Ah, look at that, a pitiful attempt at a happy ending. Fucking typical, right? Had to have the predictable anti-climax.

In closing, I'd like to thank everyone who, ironically enough, gave me their votes as a result of this series. Thanks also to Siegfried1027 for lobbing me that underhand softball to set up the non-sequitur donkey strip.
An last but not least, big up to my boy Karl Marx, whom we all secretly love and worship, especially those of us who denounce him and write blatantly anti-Marxist comics.