This is the thread in which to post reviews of commercials, or adverts, as you foreigners call them.

Lately, we in the US have been regaled with a certain Smokey the Bear fire-safety message, visible here.

In this scene, an asshole backpacker leaves his fire smoldering while donning his pack and writhing arhymically to music on his Walkman. In fact, the backpacker is obviously such an asshole that he's probably got an iPod, but it's hard to tell. Anyway, little does he know he is being watched from the brush by a menacing animalian countenance seen in extreme close-up. It growls ever so softly.

Turns out to be Smokey the Bear, who gives the asshole backpacker a tsk-tsk look. The asshole then feels really guilty.

Effective drama depends upon a sympathetic antagonist, one with whom the audience might identify, despite his flaws. I just wanted this backpacker to die. Look at the way he dances. What a tool.

If I had written this ad, Smokey the Bear would have burst from the underbrush with a roar that would liquefy the bowels of the staunchest woodsman, then knocked the backpackers head into the trees with one blow from his mighty paw. Sadly, all this ursine pussy can manage is a school-marmish, shame-shame facial expression. That is no way to change the behavior of Americans. You have to show a regular guy, a guy who could be you (not some X-addled rave reject) being violently mauled by a wild animal as a direct result of his negligence.

As long as spots like these are being aired, we can look forward to more forest fires. Smokey the Bear needs to lose the friendly forest ranger image and act more like the fucking apex predator he is. America needs Smokey the Avenging Grizzly Bear, a hulking monster with an appetite for justice and human flesh. That would raise some fucking awareness, let me tell you.

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What others say about boorite!

this is quite possibly my favorite commercial ever.

It makes terrorism seem so sexy

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xx( o Y o. )xx

There was an Engrish-riddled Starsky and Hutch ad that said, "The critics agree... Starsky and Hutch are THE MAN." I died.

I many tpso that post..

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What others say about boorite!

I've no links to anything, but I do like the Geico ads a bit.

The ones that are getting even more idiotic are the beer commercials. The football themed ads were funny the first few times I saw them, but the ones that really piss me off are the ones saying "we have the coldest beer". I can't remember who that was, but they are saying "Other beers are shipped in rail cars, ours are kept in a refrigerated car!"
What? Why the fuck would that matter? Last I checked, I wasn't buying beer from rail cars. I was buying them from Safeway, where they are kept refrigerated.
Then there's the one "Other beers are heat-pasteurized at ___ degrees, our beers are frost-brewed at 42 degrees" or whatever. That's just fucking stupid. Sure, if I'm walking up to the brewery and slapping my mouth on the tap to get a drink, then yeah, that'd be nice. But I'm not. I buy beer in a bottle or in a can.

Those commercials are idiotic.

Also, can we please kill the people who sell Cialis, Viagra, and whatever other company makes your pee-pee get hard with a pall? The commercials are either condescending or obnoxious. "This is Bob!"

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Do you want ants? Because that's how you get ants.

Years ago, I saw this commercial for I don't remember what... probably milk or something. I remember that the comercial consisted of a couple of kids sitting at a table eating breakfast. On the table sat a bottle of some orange citrus drink. As the kids were thinking of what they should have to quench their thirst, the happy, friendly sunshine cartoon printed on the OJ bottle lept to life and asked the kids "hey, why don't you start your morning with some orange citrus drink (or whatever it was)?" At the sight of their friendly new visitor, the children went wide eyed... not with glee, but with shock and horror! They immediately bolted from the table, screaming down the hallway! The friendly, happy sunshine gave chase, extoling the virtues of vitamin C.

I think the point was that the company that was advertising its own product didn't rely on fancy cartoon logos to sell its product. I just love the fact that for the first time in a commercial, they showed what would probably happen for real if a couple of kids were suddenly confronted with a talking cartoon logo, no matter how friendly and sunshiny, that suddenly jumps to life off of a bottle of orange juice.

Aaaaaaaahhhh yes. The "Smilin' Bob" commercials. Enzyte is the product, and the company who makes it has been sued for advertizing Enzyte when it's nothing more than a fucking useless placebo.

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The giant three-phallused phallus of Uzbekistan will one day squirt the cosmic jizz of revenge all over Canada.

This is the greatest ad ever made.

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Poop.

They really need to get off the air, willingly. That ad takes the cake. There have been ads that have run longer, and there have been ads that were more annoying, but it successfully combines both aspects into one horrific, painful mess of shit.

Plus, they always show two commercials back to back. Once, I was watching Sci Fi and they played it the whole commercial break, again and again...
I was about to pull an Elvis on my TV.

On a side note, I saw a Libertarian ad during the election battle. Badnarik needs money. I've seen local law firm commercials with a higher budget. I was waiting for Badnarik to jump in wearing some horrifying superhero costume and say:
Badnarik: "Don't worry folks, I'll save you!"
Man: "Who are you?!"
Badnarik: "I'm Michael Badnarik, Libertarian Candidate for President by day, Superhero by night!"
Man: "I want more money for this job, fucking hell."
Woman: "I'm going to my fucking trailer"
Badnarik (nearly crying): "What have I done??"
Bush & Kerry (offscreen): "Tee hee."
Bush: "Now, let's rub mud on the back of his tights."
Kerry: "Okay. You do that, I'll get a camera... to take a picture of him with the stain... not to get a picture of you putting it there"
Bush & Kerry: "SKULL AND BONES FOREVER!"

Whoa. Tangent city.

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Do you want ants? Because that's how you get ants.