Maybe not as good as ivy's Walmart comics, but just as thereaputic, I think.

Work | by scyess 12-04-04

I'm thinking about getting a job. I downloaded some sample résumés to get mine up to date. But they were way more impressive than mine, so I just combined them and changed the name and address information. So how did you find the time to become an astronaut while serving as secretary of state and acting as CEO of Toyota? It's all about delegation.

Work ][ by Scyess 12-04-04

So what will I be doing in this job? You know those decorative pillows people put on their beds during the day, but then take off at night when they sleep? You mean the ones that serve absolutely no purpose? We don't think of it that way. We think of them as having the very important purpose of taking up space. Oh, okay. So will I be making those? No. Let's just say you can think of this company as a huge bed...

Work ]|[ by Scyess 12-04-04

There are forty thousand people in this branch of our company alone. By the time any work gets down to our level, it's either outdated, already done, or so convoluted that we have to send it back. Without hope of accomplishing anything, the best I can do is hire unqualified, underpaid people like you and claim I'm saving the company money, while keeping up my headcount quotas. So when I saw "takes up space" on your résumé, naturally I gave you a call. I prefer to think of myself as a "Lacunar Engineer."

Work |V by Scyess 12-04-04

Welcome to your first day on the job. Your desk is over there. Always remember our motto: "For God's sake, don't do any work." Great! If you need me, I'll be on the Internet. Yeah, about that... Ha! They said I could never get into heaven! We don't have Interent access. You also won't get a phone, a chair with wheels, or a window. And don't let me catch you talking to your coworkers, either. ... and they were right.

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"Old" is the old new.

Work V by Scyess 12-04-04

You don't mind that your job is to sit in a box and do nothing? Nope! I'm fine with that. Give me that magazine! And no stereos allowed! No problem. ...and I'll just be taking that Gameboy. YOU'LL HAVE TO TAKE MY ARM WITH IT, YOU CRUEL, HEARTLESS BASTARD!

Work V| by Scyess 12-04-04

I thought I'd put this little picture of my roommate in my cubicle. I know company policy is to reduce clutter, but you know, it's a small picture -- no frame or anything, so I figured it'll be okay. Don't make me get the box of rabid badgers. No! I'll be good!

Work V][ by Scyess 12-04-04

You'll have to come into work this weekend. ...but I don't even do anything during the week... I guess you're not doing nothing fast enough. Just so you know, I would pitch you such a rant if I had a life outside of work.

Work V]|[ -- Fini by Scyess 12-04-04

Hi, I'm your new team leader. I have the IQ of salad, so I'm going to stop by every five minutes to have you explain very simple things to me at an even simpler level. Then you'll have to write reports on these things for me that I won't understand and no one else will ever read. Then -- DAMMIT, SCYESS! JUST BECAUSE YOUR JOB SUCKS DOESN'T MEAN YOU HAVE TO TAKE IT OUT ON ME! Sorry. If it's any consolation, my job is worse than this. Christ, sometimes it's like I have to write these comics myself.

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"Old" is the old new.

Not that anyone cared the first time, but here's another:

Work |X by Scyess 12-16-04

Hey, boss. I have a question about my timesheet. Shoot. Slept three hours late today, but I didn't accomplish any less than if I'd actually been here. How should I report my time? Record it as "Christmas" and make sure you show up here on the 25th. Uh, Christmas is on a Saturday this year. And that's important... why?

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"Old" is the old new.

Those were pretty good. I really liked ]|[.

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-=- You eat one lousy foot and they call you a cannibal. What a world. -=-

Yeah.

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Batman created by Bob Kane

Those is some fucked up title cards you got there, Scyess.

But | liked them.

Sounds like most of the jobes I've had. Good stuff.

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Do you want ants? Because that's how you get ants.

Help Wanted by attitudechicka 1-13-05

Hey Scy, are there any positions available at your current place of work? There sure are! Really? What's open? There are a variety of positions available in unemployment.

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Mediocrity at its most average.