The Sunday Unfunnies: Family Circus by CHUBBY 11-27-04

I'VE HAD IT UP TO MY TITS WITH YOU FUCKIN' KIDS! WHICH ONE OF YOU BROKE THIS GODDAM LAMP? Not me. Not me. We're here today at the scene of a terrible tragedy. Chief, can you tell us what happened? The entire Keane family was killed earlier today in an apparent murder-suicide. We are still investigating who actually fired the gun. Not me.

The Sunday Unfunnies: Peanuts by CHUBBY 11-27-04

Charlie Brooooooowwn! I'll hold the ball and you come running up and kick it. No, Lucy. You've fucked with me for the last time. Oh, what are you, in the Trench Coat Mafia or something? Hahaha! That's right, bitch. We're here today at the scene of a terrible tragedy. Chief, can you tell us what happened? Charles Brown, apparently fed up with years of teasing, shot and killed Lucille Van Pelt, her brother Linus, Sherman, Violet, Patty, Pigpen, and his own sister Sally before turning the gun on himself.

The Sunday Unfunnies: Dennis the Menace by CHUBBY 11-27-04

Tell you what, Dennis. Let's play Hide and Seek. You go hide. I'll count to a million and then I'll try to find you. OK? Jeepers, Mr. Wilson! A million! I know a really good hiding place! You'll never find me! Good! Little bastard! I'll hide in his freezer!

The Sunday Unfunnies: Blondie by CHUBBY 11-27-04

BLONDIE! MY PC ISN'T COMPATIBLE WITH MY TREO! BLONDIE! NOW MY FOUNTAIN PEN IS OUT OF INK! Tell me again dear: We're in WHAT fuckin' decade?

The Sunday Unfunnies: Broom Hilda by CHUBBY 11-27-04

Hey guys, I got your message. What's cooking? What's cooking, she asks. Heh, heh. Heh heh heh heh. YOU ARE, YOU EVIL WITCH! DIE! DIE! DIE! AAAAAAAH!

---
"We're fighting for this woman's honor, which is probably more than she ever did." Groucho Marx

The Sunday Unfunnies: Mark Trail by CHUBBY 11-27-04

The tiny blue snail darter is the rarest fish in North America. Fewer than one hundred survive in the wild. In addition to its natural enemy, the red snail darter, the blue snail darter is threatened by pollution, loss of habitat,..... And the fact it takes so many of the little bastards to fry up to make a real meal.

The Sunday Unfunnies: Red and Rover by CHUBBY 11-27-04

I'm just saying maybe you should spend some time playing with kids your age. But Ma, Rover's my best friend in the whole wide world. Nobody makes me feel better than he does. Well, OK, if you say so. C'mere, boy, I smeared peanut butter all over it! You get to lick it off! I like the peanut butter, but what's the white junk that comes out?

The Sunday Unfunnies: Tank McNamara by CHUBBY 11-27-04

Tank McNamara with Ron Artest. Ron, a lot of people blame you for the fight, but you probably couldn't help it. You're just a savage. It's those instincts that kept your jungle bunny ancestors alive. Man, whatchoo talkin' bout, jiveass mofo? Fuck dis, I'm outta here! And cut. God, I love working for Fox Sports.

The Sunday Unfunnies: Luann by CHUBBY 11-27-04

Brad! You saved my life! I'm a fireman, Toni. That's what I do. Thank God I happened to be walking by. I'm just sorry I couldn't save Dirk as well. But now we can be together at last. You set the fire, didn't you? What are you gonna do, tell on me? No. Not if you burn down Tiffany's house. Shit, you don't have to blackmail me. I'd have done it anyway. All of us firemen are pyros, don't you know that?

The Sunday Unfunnies: Marvin by CHUBBY 11-27-04

We've got the results back from the lab. Go ahead, Doctor. Just tell us. Marvin has progeria, a disease of premature aging. Although he's only a baby, he has the body of a ninety year-old man. If I were you, I wouldn't buy him any Xmas presents yet, if you catch my drift.

---
"We're fighting for this woman's honor, which is probably more than she ever did." Groucho Marx