The Bushy Knoll by CHUBBY 12-29-04

What's this all about? We appreciate your coming down. We're thinking of releasing him, and we wanted to see how he would react to meeting you. Hello, Jodie. Ohhhh!! There's a sheet of bulletproof glass between you. He can't harm you. I'll be right around the corner if you need me, Ms. Foster. And you behave yourself, John Hinckley.

The Bushy Knoll 2 by CHUBBY 12-29-04

So, Jodie, we meet at last. Yes. I can't believe it. I can't believe you shot Ronald Reagan to impress me. Did it work? I did get a little damp. If your aim was better, I would've banged you.

The Bushy Knoll 3 by CHUBBY 12-29-04

Want to hear something incredible? The Bushes and the Hinckleys have a common ancestor, Samuel Hinckley, from the 1600's. Wow, what a coincidence. Here's a bigger one. Guess who my brother was meeting for dinner on March 30, 1981? Who? March 30, 1981. Neil Bush home, Denver, CO. Sharon, Scott Hinckley cancelled out for tonight. I wonder why?

The Bushy Knoll 4 by CHUBBY 12-29-04

You're kidding me! Your brother and Dubya's brother were scheduled to have dinner the night of the day you shot Reagan? Our fathers were old friends and neighbors. H. Dubya's business, Zapata Oil, bailed out my Dad's business, Vanderbilt Oil. Zapata was also a CIA front for black ops in the Caribbean in the 1960's. Black ops? Mind control, assassination. Did you know that two Navy ships at the Bay of Pigs were rechristened "Barbara" and "Houston"? And after the JFK assassination, Hoover briefed "George Bush of the CIA" ? 1980. No, it wasn't me. Must have been another George Bush in Texas. Who, your idiot son?

The Bushy Knoll 5 by CHUBBY 12-29-04

Your family and the Bushes were neighbors? That's right. That must have been odd, having a neighbor who was a spy into mind control and assassination. I don't really remember..... Houston, TX, c. 1963 When I snap my fingers, you will awake, and you will remember nothing. But if I call on you, even twenty years from now, you will do my bidding if I mention the little girl in the Coppertone ad.

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"We're fighting for this woman's honor, which is probably more than she ever did." Groucho Marx

The Bushy Knoll 6 by CHUBBY 12-29-04

My father was a big contributor to H. Dubya's campaigns, from the 1960's, when he ran for congress as a segregationist; to 1980, when he ran against Reagan as a moderate. What about the sons? In 1978, I was living in Lubbock, Texas. Guess who ran for Congress from that district? Dubya? Correct. Now for the championship, who was his campaign manager? Neil Bush? I hope he didn't handle the finances, too.

The Bushy Knoll 7 by CHUBBY 12-29-04

Dubya, March 30, 1981. I might have been introduced to him. I don't recognize his face and the name doesn't ring any bells. I know he wasn't on our staff. I could check the volunteer rolls. Maybe it was the other other George Bush. Did you two know each other back in the day? A Lubbock, Texas titty bar, 1978. Hey, anybody see "Taxi Driver" on Home Box last night? I know she's only 15, but I'll tell you, that Jodie Foster is some piece of ass.

The Bushy Knoll 8 by CHUBBY 12-29-04

I didn't understand what was happening to me. I read books about Sirhan Sirhan and Arthur Bremer. They were rumored to be mind-controlled assassins. I started stalking Teddy Kennedy and Jimmy Carter. One day I was caught trying to fly to Nashville, where Carter was supposed to appear, with three handguns and my diary..... 1980. I don't get it. We catch a guy with three handguns and a diary about stalking Carter, trying to fly to the city where Carter is scheduled-- and we let him go? Whatever Dick Helms wants, Dick Helms gets.

The Bushy Knoll 9 by CHUBBY 12-29-04

I mentioned that I was going to shoot Reagan to a member of the Islamic Guerrilla Army, who dropped a dime on me to the Secret Service, who did nothing. So they let you shoot him? I got six shots off, but there was a bulletproof limo door between him and me. Judy Woodruff said there was a second gunman on the hotel overhang. She later said he was Secret Service. March 30, 1981. Whoopsy.

The Bushy Knoll 10 by CHUBBY 12-29-04

Scott Hinckley, March 30, 1981. Mr. Hinckley, the DOE has been going over Vanderbilt Oil's books for 1977-1980. It appears there may have been pricing violations on crude oil, and there may be fines of up to $2 million. H. Dubya, March 30, 1981. In declaring the Fort Worth Hyatt Regency a National Historic Site, we honor the memory of John F. Kennedy, who spent his last night here. How about any of the George Bushes? Neil Bush, March 30, 1981. Me so horny. Me love you long time.

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"We're fighting for this woman's honor, which is probably more than she ever did." Groucho Marx

The Bushy Knoll 11 by CHUBBY 12-29-04

Al Haig, March 30, 1981. The President has been shot. The Vice-President is out of town. I'm in charge now. Hang on there, you young whippersnapper. The Veep's still in charge. And if he wasn't, Tip O'Neill is ahead of you in line. Then me. You? Strom Thurmond? Aren't you, like, 178 years old? Yep. I've dreamed of this day ever since I ran for the presidency in '48. Note to self: After my 1988 presidential election win, fix 25th Amendment. Where the colored women at?

The Bushy Knoll 12 by CHUBBY 12-29-04

And in many ways, H. Dubya was acting president for the next eight years. Reagan lived, of course. But from then on, he let H. Dubya's buddies at the Company do whatever they want. The prison guards in NC confiscated my papers about the conspiracy. I was, of course, found not guilty by reason of insanity. The judge was one of the first eleven appointed to the federal bench by President George Herbert Walker Bush.

The Bushy Knoll 13 by CHUBBY 12-29-04

So, Ms. Foster, what did you think? He's no danger to me or anyone else. Let him go. Very well. Thank you. Good day. Say, was that Jodie Foster? Yeah. Boy, you talk about your bushy knolls.

The Bushy Knoll 14 by CHUBBY 12-29-04

I can't believe I'm finally free after all these years! It's a changed world out there, John. A lot of people want to do to you what you did to Reagan, so I got you a gun. Just for self-defense. Thanks, Jodie. You're welcome. Bye, John. Good luck. Bye, Jodie. Oh-- by the way-- I don't know if I mentioned this. Dick, Dubya, and I had a three-way last night in the Lincoln Bedroom. It was the best sex I ever had.

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"We're fighting for this woman's honor, which is probably more than she ever did." Groucho Marx