From the makers of "The $10,000 Martini" and "The $3500 Scotch".

When Reality Shows Collide by CHUBBY 1-26-05

"The Simple Life"-- The Borgata Hotel, Atlantic City Boy, this "working for a living", or whatever, like, sucks, really. Hi, Nicole. Hi, Paris. Can I buy you two ladies a drink? That's hot. "The Apprentice" You want to see which team can sell the most LEMONADE? What's the catch? You have to charge $750 a glass.

The $750 Lemonade 2 by CHUBBY 1-26-05

Well, there's, like, a bar in the, you know, hotel. Why don't we, like, go there? Oh, no. I'm not going through that again. It's a nice night. Let's take a walk down the boardwalk. I REALLY want to win. I mean, our team to win. Me too. He wants us to, like, you know, walk. That's hot.

The $750 Lemonade 3 by CHUBBY 1-26-05

How about the Tun Tavern? Are you, like crazy or something? I'm watching my weight! I REALLY want to win-- I mean, our team to win. Me, too. Well, we're at the end of the boardwalk. Nicole has rejected every single bar. The only things left are those two lemonade stands. That's hot.

The $750 Lemonade 4 by CHUBBY 1-26-05

OK, lemonade it is then. That's hot. Hey, baby, you lookin' fo' some lemonade? Why, actually,-- Beat it, LaTonyi'sha! I saw him first! Ladies, please, don't fight. There's plenty of me to go around. If you get my drift.

The $750 Lemonade 5 by CHUBBY 1-26-05

Why don't you beat it, Brittany? He ain't yo' type. He ain't one o' them yuppie stockbrokers from Tribeca down here in A. C. slummin'! Well, he's certainly not your type. He's got all his own teeth and no prison tattoos. Yo yo yo yo! What up, baby? What's yo' name, sweetcheeks? Nicole Richie. How'd you know my name Ri'chie?

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"We're fighting for this woman's honor, which is probably more than she ever did." Groucho Marx

The $750 Lemonade 6 by CHUBBY 1-26-05

You stuck-up honky Daddy's little girl bitch, why don't you get yo' tight little white ass back to Wellesley! I will when you're back in the gutter sucking crack addicts' dicks for loose change, you fat whore! YAAAAAH!!! SLUT! TWAT! WHITEY! JUNGLE BUNNY! Zoom in on the catfight! That's hot. No, it's ICE COLD LEMONADE! Want some?

The $750 Lemonade 7 by CHUBBY 1-26-05

What happened to that other girl? Don' you worry 'bout her, baby, I'mo treat you right! Oh, hello. See anything you like? That's hot. See anything you like?

The $750 Lemonade 8 by CHUBBY 1-26-05

How you know my name Ri'chie? Like, I don't even know your name, right? I'm the daughter of Lionel Richie. Yo' daddy be a train? No, a singer. Oh. Lionel Richie. I don't date black chicks. Dat be Dennis Rodman over dere? So, what's your name, anyways?

The $750 Lemonade 9 by CHUBBY 1-26-05

Ladies, please! I'll buy a lemonade from each of you! 'kay. OK, LaTon'yisha? Mmmmmgghhpphhh! "Da Ya Think I'm Sexy" by Rod Stewart. All Rights Reserved. That's hot. "IF YOU WANT MY BODY AND YOU THINK I'M SEXY, COME ON BABY TELL ME SO......"

The $750 Lemonade 10 by CHUBBY 1-26-05

Oh, boy! Lemonade lemonade I want lemonade! Beat it cracker! You ain't got no money. Hey, calm down. I'll buy her a lemonade. Hey mister, my sister won't let me have any of her lemonade. Will you buy me one? Hey buddy, can you help me out? Lemonade?

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"We're fighting for this woman's honor, which is probably more than she ever did." Groucho Marx

The $750 Lemonade 11 by CHUBBY 1-26-05

We're winning! All I have to do is get Ri'chie out of the way and the prize is mine! Hey, don't forget about me! Oh, I haven't. OK, WHO WANTS LEMONADE? RAISE YOUR HANDS! Milk, milk, lemonade. Around the corner, fudge is made. That's hot.

The $750 Lemonade 12 by CHUBBY 1-26-05

I'm like, not black, you know? I'm like, a mulatta. What dat mean? Gee, I dunno. My mom's white, though. Is she fat? That's hot. "I'm too sexy for my shirt, too sexy for my shirt, so sexy it hurts....."

The $750 Lemonade 13 by CHUBBY 1-26-05

And now it's time to total up the receipts and see who the winner is. LaTon'yisha had $75,000. Brittany had-- $75,000! IT'S A TIE! Wow, you girls must have had a lot of customers today. No, just you. No, just you. *THUNK!

The $750 Lemonade 14 by CHUBBY 1-26-05

"COPS" features the men and women of law enforcement. Let's go. You're under arrest. B-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-- Meanwhile, the finals of "American Idol" are being taped live at the Borgata...... "THEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEESE LITTLE TOWN BLUES, ARE MELTING AWAY....." Hey, there's something going on outside! Well, that's show biz.

The $750 Lemonade 15 by CHUBBY 1-26-05

Officer, you can release this man to my custody. I'll be responsible for him. Well, OK. Boy, am I glad to see you. I thought-- Please sir. I'm working for Mr. Trump now. Don't screw this up for me. You know the movie "Cohen and Tate"? I'm Cohen.

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"We're fighting for this woman's honor, which is probably more than she ever did." Groucho Marx

The $750 Lemonade 16 by CHUBBY 1-26-05

Unhand him! MR. BIG! Damn. Hey, Slugger. How are you makin' out? Shorty! You saved my life again! THE DONALD! THE SHORTY!

The $750 Lemonade 17 by CHUBBY 1-26-05

You know Trump? Do I know Trump? Why, back in the day, he tricked me out of billions of dollars. Well, you can just watch this flashback. Back in the day...... If we can't agree on the name, the whole deal is off. It's just that "The Shorty Towers" is an oxymoron. We've got to come up with a catchier name. Something like, oh, I don't know.....

The $750 Lemonade 18 by CHUBBY 1-26-05

You're through in this town, Trump. It ain't big enough for the two of us. I own this Boardwalk. I own Park Place. I'm the King of Marvin Gardens. Get out. Do not pass go. Do not collect $200. Can I finish my live broadcast? OK. But make it snappy, or you'll go directly to jail. Say, did I ever tell you how I got the nickname "The Shorty"? Yes.

The $750 Lemonade 19 by CHUBBY 1-26-05

"You are so beautiful...... to me. Can't you see-ee-ee-ee-ee?......." I'm Simon Cowell, and I think you're the most brilliant performer I've ever seen. Congratulations! You're the new AMERICAN IDOL! No hard feelings. That's hot.

The $750 Lemonade 20 by CHUBBY 1-26-05

Mr. Trump, for a tie-breaker, how about you taste our lemonades? Whoever's is best wins. Good idea. I'll try yours first. Hmmm. Nice balance of tart and sweet. But there's a slight aftertaste. I can't quite put my finger on what it is. Strychnine. You want the antidote, it's $100,000,000. You are so fuckin' fired.

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"We're fighting for this woman's honor, which is probably more than she ever did." Groucho Marx

The $750 Lemonade 21 by CHUBBY 1-26-05

Paris? Is that you? I've missed you. I've been such a damn fool. I have a confession to make. I'm not really a monkey, I'm a chimp. But marry me, and I'll never look at another monkey. Paris, say something. That's hot.

The $750 Lemonade 22 by CHUBBY 1-26-05

Excuse me, miss. You don't know me-- but I saw the way you dispatched Mr. Trump, and-- wow. What I'm trying to say is, have you ever seen "Prizzi's Honor"? You'll do. Be at my room in five minutes. Hello, Paula darlin'. I've never forgotten our night of love. Just you and me. And the rest of the cheerleading squad. We all laughed because your tattoo said "Shorty", but when it was erect it said, "Shorty's Bar & Grille, 1300 Broadway, STripcreator 9-9997, Open 7 days a week, Ask about our daily specials....."

When Reality Shows Collide: The $750 Lemonade FIN by CHUBBY 1-26-05

There they go. I'm a loser at life and love. All I really want is to get married and live on a farm in Vermont. I live on a farm in Vermont. Why don't you marry me? OK. I've been searching for someone like you my whole life. SHUT UP BITCH, AND BEND OVER!

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"We're fighting for this woman's honor, which is probably more than she ever did." Groucho Marx

To my own surprise, I found this series to be pretty amusing and very well done.

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peddling the funny around since 09/24/2002

Thanks.

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"We're fighting for this woman's honor, which is probably more than she ever did." Groucho Marx

...and this is coming from a guy who's never seen any of those shows!

Sometimes you surprise me. This one is genius:

I'm lovin' it by CHUBBY 1-28-05

Let's give a warm William Howard Taft Elementary School welcome to our guest, Ronald MacDonald. Did somebody say MacDonald's? My work here is done.

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peddling the funny around since 09/24/2002

quote:

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...and this is coming from a guy who's never seen any of those shows!

Sometimes you surprise me. This one is genius:

I'm lovin' it by CHUBBY 1-28-05

Let's give a warm William Howard Taft Elementary School welcome to our guest, Ronald MacDonald. Did somebody say MacDonald's? My work here is done.

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