National Unity Second by Commander_t 3-07-05

We interrupt your regularly scheduled programming to bring you the President of the United States... Hello, I'm your president, Mr. President! With me now, to promote National Unity Second is my leading opponent, Mr. Senator!! Hello, I'm a senator, Mr. Senator! Now, as you know, me and Mr. President have had our differences... ...but for National Unity Second, we have agreed to set aside our differences, and show our unity for the United States. We now take you to regularly scheduled programming... Aw, shut it Mr. Senator! National Unity Second was over ten seconds ago!! Hey now!! That's not nice!

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The King Has Returned To Claim His Throne by Commander_t 3-08-05

Hello, son. I've come to reclaim my throne. What are you talking about?! This is my throne. I've ruled this land for years. I was on a quest to Portoland and- Are you a little crazy guy?! Portoland isn't even a country! This is Bubba's Gas-n-Go!! Bubba's Gas-n-Go?! HA! I'd recognize my throne a mile away! Dude, you're insane!!

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Quest for the Burger King! by Commander_t 3-13-05

One day... No! Its over here! No! The Burger King is this way!! Fine, but I don't like it! Yes!! He will show us many secrets!!! It was going to be a long day of selling Whoppers... Hello. May I take your order? Yes, oh master!! Bestow upon me your many great secrets!!

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You Never Know Who's Out There by Commander_t 4-04-05

He didn't know what to expect when he opened the door... Hello. Who are you? Hi, I'm a Jehova's Witness. The sale had begun... I already believe in a God, I don't need another. Well, we all worship the same God- The almost nearly dramatic conclusion... No, you worship a guy with horns on his head, a pointy tail, and to top it off, carries a pitchfork around all the time! Who?! Mr. President? He's not God!

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Mr. President #33 by Commander_t 4-05-05

Later... Outside the White House Security Hut... Hello Mr. President! Welcome back! Shut it brainiac! I'm still uncertain I should be back here! Maybe I should abdicate or something... Uh sir, abdication is only for kings and queens. How'd you like to abdicate your position then?! Captain Stupid thought he had just gotten over the incident... Uh, no. I've got a booze habbit to keep up with since the incident... Good, let's keep it that way. Oh, and Captain Stupid... A HUNDRED CRUSHED JUST-LEGALIZED IMMIGRANTS!!

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"It's like a Koala bear crapped a rainbow in my brain!" Capt. Murphy, SeaLab 2021

I think there's definately some potential. I think you need more of a kicker for a punchline in the last panel of your comics, but I like your setups, especially in, "The King Has Returned to Claim his Throne."

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I think, therefore I make comments on a forum.

I agree that you have some potential. The situations you've provided are humorous, but you don't seem clear about how to make it funny to the reader.

The first thing to do is to get rid of the narration. It's redundant, distracting, and generally a sign that you don't know what the hell you're doing. Second, know when to end the joke. The "Dude, you're insane!" line in "The King Has Returned To Claim His Throne," for example, is completely unnecessary. The joke's already been told. More emphasis doesn't help; readers will expect there to be another joke if the dialog continues.

In summary: You don't have to fill out all the fields in every comic. You've got some good ideas, you just need to learn how to better turn them into comics.

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peddling the funny around since 09/24/2002

I like your latest one.

Another Stupid Comic by Commander_t 4-10-05

You know, you should get some help for that. The guy is right over there. No, I'm fine. If you say so. MY HEAD!! Somebody should call an ambulance for you.

I'd have preferred it if Tyler in the last panel said something like "There's an ambulance right here". But still, good.

I finally have potential!! YES!!

I'm only a noob to strip creating. I'd always had some interest in it, but never any real motivation to get into it like I am, until I discovered this site in late February.

I'll take all the information I've received here and use it to the best of my abilities... seriously.

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"It's like a Koala bear crapped a rainbow in my brain!" Capt. Murphy, SeaLab 2021

quote:

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I like your latest one.

Another Stupid Comic by Commander_t 4-10-05

You know, you should get some help for that. The guy is right over there. No, I'm fine. If you say so. MY HEAD!! Somebody should call an ambulance for you.

I'd have preferred it if Tyler in the last panel said something like "There's an ambulance right here". But still, good.

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