Catholicism

So why do you want to become a catholic? I want to feel guilty when I masturbate. It's more fun that way.

by mad_matt, 6-28-05

Thoughts of a dying atheist by mad_matt 6-28-05

What if I was wrong, maybe it was just a voice in my head. Of Course I'm not a voice in your head, I'm God, you idiot. Well yeh, you would say that, but if you're not in my head, how do you know what I'm thinking? Um, well you see, the thing about that is . . . Why did I have to wait till now to find out?

Jesus on religion, part 1 by mad_matt 6-28-05

So why do you want to become a catholic? Those Jewish priests are really starting to piss me off. Okay. You do realise you'll have to drink your own blood and eat your own body. That's fine, just get me off this feckin' cross! Actually, we're gonna need you to stay up there for a while. God Dammit!

Jesus on religion, part 2 by mad_matt 6-28-05

So why do you want to become a buddhist? Well first of all, I'm beginning to think God's just a voice in my head... ... and the Jews nailed me to this feckin' cross, but the catholics aren't any better - they tell me it's for my own good! Well, now you mention it, it does look like a good way to achieve enlightenment... God Dammit!

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I love Family Guy more than I love taffy, and I'm a man who enjoys his taffy.

Jesus on religion, part 3 by mad_matt 6-28-05

You want to start your own religion? Yeh, all the ones that exist just now just piss me off. Okay, I should be able to manage that. You're well enough known that we won't have any trouble getting publicity. So I can get off this feckin' cross now then? Well actually, I was thinking that's just the sort of gimmick we need... God Dammit!

Jesus on religion, part 4 by mad_matt 6-28-05

So what's the deal with this cross? Well basically, by nailing you to the cross, the sins of every human being throughout time are cancelled out. So basically a few hundred billion wrongs make a right then?

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I love Family Guy more than I love taffy, and I'm a man who enjoys his taffy.

Ratings:
1. Bad
2. Okay
3. Okay
4. Okay
5. Good
6. Good
7. Good

I'm not going to go into some elaborate speech about why I rated what what, because honestly on some I don't know. I just particularly enjoyed the last three.

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Mediocrity at its most average.

I likes. Well done. More please.

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Please replace the handset, and try again.

I like 'em all. Except the last one, of course. But most of them with "God Dammit" as the punchline were pure excellence. Well done!

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peddling the funny around since 09/24/2002

You get full marks from me just for using the title of a Muse song \o/

(and also because most of the comics were very very funny)

huzzah!

Love the comics! Keep it up!

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Do you want ants? Because that's how you get ants.

quote:

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You get full marks from me just for using the title of a Muse song \o/

(and also because most of the comics were very very funny)

huzzah!

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Overall, I thought they were all pretty good.

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obscenity filter is off

This is an idea I've had in my head for a while now, more as a philosophic argument than a joke, but earlier today I realised the way to make it funny.

God is merciful (apparently) by mad_matt 7-22-05

So I hear Bob got sent down for murder. Yep, 20 years in jail. How's Craig doing these days? Didn't you hear? He got run over by a bus the other day. Ouch. I guess he's in heaven looking down on us now. Actually, he swore just before the bus hit him and didn't have time to repent. He's got an eternity of torture in hell ahead of him.

I have more (better) ideas along the same line, I just have to work out how to put them into comic form.

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I love Family Guy more than I love taffy, and I'm a man who enjoys his taffy.