Ancient Joke by Splunge 7-13-05

Hey doc? It hurts when I do this. So don't do that. I want a second opinion. You're ugly too.

Doctor Knows Best by Splunge 7-13-05

Doc. My girlfriend says that I drink too much. I tried to explain to her that I do it to kill the existential pain of my sorry life. But she won't listen. Well, it's simple. Alcohol has become a crutch. You have to stop drinking. Here's a prescription for Vicodin. Want a shot of morphine before before you pay the slut at the reception desk?

Strong Little Girl by Splunge 7-13-05

Hi doctor. Um, this is hard to talk about... But I think I sorta got some kind of infection in my "private area". Let me be the judge of that, I am the doctor, after all... Can you smell that? Doctor? You okay? Must... reach... door...

Something About This Doesn't Work by Splunge 7-13-05

Okay. So you've been using the new "Female Viagra" for a week now. How do you feel? Let's fuck. Right here on the floor. Give me your man meat, and make it hurt. Alright, mother. But let's make it fast. I have other patients waiting.

The last one should be funny, but the punchline doesn't work for me.

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Bringing you comics, once a year. Whether you want them or not.

I like your "Metropolis" signature pic.

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Legend, oh legend, the third wheel legend...always in the way.

Good call, biped. And yours is the old lady from "House on Haunted Hill", 1958. A great Vincent Price film. Correct?

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Bringing you comics, once a year. Whether you want them or not.

METROPOLIS.

SEX.

Sometimes You Need A Vacation by Splunge 7-13-05

Hello, how can I help you? Well, doc, I have this hangnail. And a really itchy scalp. And when I scratch my head, the hangnail cuts my scalp. And i bleed a lot. I wonder if I shot up all of the morphine? ...so my woman says, who you gonna please with that little thing... and I says, ME bitch...

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Bringing you comics, once a year. Whether you want them or not.

I <333333333 that last one, especially the last panel :D

I think somebody's been compensating for something...

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If you do just one thing in life, then you need to get out more and expand your horizons. Honestly, that one thing can't possibly take-up all your time.