Tell me, if you were just diagnosed with mania, confused and worried, what would this third definition do for you:

http://www.dictionary.com/cgi-bin/dict.pl?term=mania

Spinn Webe has a cool section about screwy signs/ads. I think that page ranks up there.

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I ate a hooker half a bottle of knife.

Mania is nothing, Womania is scary shit.

1. An excessively intense enthusiasm, interest, or desire; a craze: a mania for shoes, soap operas, romance novels.

2. Psychiatry. A manifestation of bipolar disorder, characterized by profuse and rapidly changing their mind, exaggerated sexuality (do I look fat in this?), gaiety (I'm actually bi) , or irritability, and causing their spouse decreased sleep (PMS)

3. Violent abnormal behavior. See Synonyms at jealousy. Traits including fucking your best friend to prove how much they love you, spending all your money because 'its about sharing', and ripping out another woman's hair for saying hi to you.

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At least im still funny .....looking. http://www.carrionfields.com

The views shared by NastyPope may or may not be those shared by this thread's producer.

Merl the Misogynistic Squirrel 2 by ObiJo 9-27-01

I don't know Merl, seems to me like the Yanks are gonna do it again. No argument here. They've got the experience and the...excuse me one second. BITCH!

The fact that the above series lasted 25 comics does nothing to disavow the previous sentence.

Really.

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I ate a hooker half a bottle of knife.

quote:

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Mania is nothing, Womania is scary shit.

1. An excessively intense enthusiasm, interest, or desire; a craze: a mania for shoes, soap operas, romance novels.

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I actually tried to figure out if I had a "thing", which you refered to as an "excessively intense enthusiasm", and it turns out I don't.

Most of my guy friends change their minds more often than I do and have worse mood swings. I can't make up my mind in the first place in order to change it. I have never once asked if I looked fat in any of my clothes. I try them on in the dressing room before I buy them and shop alone to avoid other people asking me that question. I'm not bi and have never claimed to be. I had my mandatory one woman-on-woman experience to decide that I truly am straight, and that was it. I'll give you the irritability thing. No spouse, therefore no response to the PMS thing.

quote:

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3. Violent abnormal behavior. See Synonyms at jealousy. Traits including fucking your best friend to prove how much they love you, spending all your money because 'its about sharing', and ripping out another woman's hair for saying hi to you.

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Jealousy I have. Whatever this is, I don't. My best friend fucked my boyfriend, I have never once fucked a boyfriend's best friend. I have a lot more respect than that. I won't even date a friend of my ex out of respect. I always spent all my money on the guy instead of the other way around. And when other girls talk to "my guy", I'm cool with it because I don't exactly have an equal male to female friend ratio myself.

Now I feel I've defended myself. Thank you.

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Mediocrity at its most average.

*can't speak*

*can't speak*

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Ya, I think she threw that in just in case our attention started to wane halfway through.

Well, it worked.

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I ate a hooker half a bottle of knife.

That does it. Attitudechicka's getting a character tonight.

...uh, because... uh... I promised she would get one. Yeah.

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This signature has performed an illegal operation and has been shut down.

If she'd been in Chasing Amy it would have been a pretty fucking short movie.

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100 pounds of shit in a 25 pound sack.

AC, there was no need for you or anyone else to defend yourself. If you had clicked on the first link, and seen the defenitions for mania, all I did was make a stereotypical rewrite of those rules. I, nor do I assume do most people, believe those are all real attributes shared by all women. Just as not all men cheat on their spouses, drink beer, watch sports all day long, go to stripclubs, etc. However, using those preconceived stereotypes can lead to some good humor.

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At least im still funny .....looking. http://www.carrionfields.com

Real Life by gabe_billings 9-29-01

Hey Billings, what's shaking? Nothin' Obi. My wife is pulling a night shift and I got nothing to do. Shit, let's head back to my place. I've got about half a keg left I need to finish, and the game'll be on in half an hour! Maybe afterwards we can head down to the Golden Nugget for a little tittie show. I bet we could make it with some of the dancers! Who the fuck are we kidding? We both hate football, and no stripper in her right mind would get within ten feet of the two of us. Getting drunk it is, then.

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100 pounds of shit in a 25 pound sack.

*can't speak*

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*blink blink*

*can't speak*

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*blink blink*

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I just had no idea it was mandatory. I did it for fun.

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I am a delicate fucking flower. https://beacons.ai/jesskent

All things being equal, then, should a man-on-man experience be mandatory for men?

Isn't watching a woman-on-woman encounter on video at least once mandatory for men?

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This signature has performed an illegal operation and has been shut down.

Deep Thoughts by ObiJo 9-29-01

What's up, Obi my man. Let's go drink till we see God, then stiff him with the bar tab. Should a man-on-man experience be mandatory for men? No. Getting drunk it is, then.

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I ate a hooker half a bottle of knife.

*can't speak*

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*blink blink*

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I just had no idea it was mandatory. I did it for fun.

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See that's actually not so shocking. The "mandatory" part was what threw me.

I believe we should force compliance.

The law's the law people.

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I ate a hooker half a bottle of knife.

Man to Man by gabe_billings 9-29-01

Have you seen the new law, Obi? Apparently this man-on-man thing has in fact become law. You mean I have to schtup some dude or I get slapped with a fine? You should be so lucky. Try three years in a federal penitentiary. Fuck. Guess there's only one thing to do. Bend over, Billings, Thanks for letting me use your back to write my 'Fuck You' letter to the government. Never a table around when you need one. Hey, this place isn't too bad. We've got HBO and Skinemax, and I got a sweet job working in the laundry for $1.05 an hour!

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100 pounds of shit in a 25 pound sack.

Of course, now that they're in jail, they'll get their man-on-man experiences, anyway.

Poor planning, fellas.

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I am a delicate fucking flower. https://beacons.ai/jesskent

Just me going on a rampage again. My apologies. On the plus side, you've all learned a lot about me now.

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Mediocrity at its most average.

Yup, getting to know a little bit more about you... there is a plus to every experience, except taking my niece to Nsync... oh shit... im having a flashback...

*puts belt in mouth while seizuring*

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At least im still funny .....looking. http://www.carrionfields.com

The Ins and Outs of Prison by ObiJo 9-29-01

I don't think I like prison, Gabey. Call me Killer. But I've always called you Gabey. Yes, but we're in prison now. It's fuck or get fucked. I don't think I like prison, Killer. It's about to get worse, ObiHo.

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I ate a hooker half a bottle of knife.

One of the most over-done things on the planet has to be alternate (non-heterosexual) sexuality.

Does anybody realy -give- a damn anymore?

It's like dabbling in sculpture or golf. Boring.

Rock on, AC... rock on everybody else.

(I mean.... guys: Life aint porno. Ever sat about and just -talked- to people "committed to their alternate sexuality" before? It's like watching paint dry.)

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I wanted my half in the middle and I wound up on the edge.

Talking to Wirthling about donkeys wasn't like watching paint dry... it was more like watching a car wreck.

Cell Block 6 by gabe_billings 9-30-01

Ga... I mean Killer. You've got to help me. Big Stan said he was going to make me his bitch. No problem. You just tell him you're my bitch. That'll clear things up. What do I have to do if I'm your bitch? The usual. Cooking, cleaning, tidying up the cell. Oh, and you'll need to start wearing makeup and calling me Sugar. What if I don't want to do that? I can lend you the shiv I made out of a tin can and you can just stick it in Big Stan's ear.

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100 pounds of shit in a 25 pound sack.