I just resurrected this old series of mine in light of a particularly bizarre spam e-mail I received this morning.

A Spammer In The Works - 1: The Thought Process Of A Spammer by Chi_The_Cynic 6-20-03

It's a bummer how all the spamming companies these days are using ordinary subject lines in their mails Yeah, nowadays unless a person recognises the email address which a mail has been sent from they just delete it The only way we can get them to read our spam is for them to recognise the email address it's been sent from Hmm, but that would require us to know the email addresses of their friends and contacts... Hey! How about sending people spam that looks as if it's been sent FROM THEIR OWN USER ADDRESS! That's a great idea! People'll be sure to read emails that look like they've been sent by themselves to themselves, right?

A Spammer In The Works - 2: Clientele by Chi_The_Cynic 6-20-03

We've just had a new client contact us for business Really? What is it this time? Viagra? Porn? Financial loans? No, no, it's better than that - this client is bound to attract business once we get spamming for them... Get your septic tank fixed TODAY! This wouldn't be funny if it weren't for it being only too true...

A Spammer In The Works - 3: AOHell by Chi_The_Cynic 6-20-03

Payment received - thank you. *sigh* Another monthly payment to AOL... I wonder what they spend all that money on? Ok, so how's the budget looking for Spam Inc. this month? Not bad, not bad at all - we've just had our monthly payment from AOL come through

A Spammer In The Works - 4: How Dumb Would You Have To Be? by Chi_The_Cynic 7-18-03

asr83dft6@lycos.com has sent you a message Ahh, I wonder what this could be? START JERKING OFF NOW! THESE BITCHES ARE HOT HOT HOT!!! Oh my! How could this have happened? Let me check that address again... Oh how silly I am - it's not from asr84dft6 (a good friend of mine) it's actually from asr83dft6! Those spammers sure are cunning!

A Spammer In The Works - 5: The Gates Approach by Chi_The_Cynic 7-18-03

Microsoft announces its pledge to tackle e-mail spam What will be your first move in facing the spam issue, Mr. Gates? Simple! Microsoft will buy up all porn outlets, viagra manufacturers and financial loan companies How will that stop e-mail spam? It won't, but spam will then carry the Microsoft seal of approval, so there'll be no need to worry anymore! *cough* What?

A Spammer In The Works - 6: With Reference To Your Reply by Chi_The_Cynic 7-18-03

Ok, normal subject lines aren't doing it anymore... we need a new strategy Let's stick "Re:" in front of each subject line so it looks like it's a reply to something a user has already sent That's genius! Everyone reads replies to e-mails they've sent to others People love reading replies, it's only natural You don't think maybe they'll catch on that they don't know anybody called Ivor Biggun or Loans4u? Nah, don't be stupid

A Spammer In The Works - 7: Turing Test by Chi_The_Cynic 9-17-05

Man, I'm really stuck on what to say in my spam these days Ah, you need the spamogenerator! It creates perfect spamming material in an instant, no thought required! Excellent! And does it have proven results? Sure it does, it's almost as if a human being had written the e-mail! Copernicus Attention All Homeowners Electrolysis! Uh, my name's Bob

nice series, BTW.

let's all post our spam-related comics, to show support.

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Our liability coverage is zero. Our balls however are enormous.

I've always loved that series, Chi. I, for one, am glad you get spam.

Thanks folks!

A Spammer In The Works - 8: Valhalla by Chi_The_Cynic 9-18-05

Do you ever wonder what Heaven will be like for people like us? Oh, we won't be seeing Heaven. So where will we be going? Somewhere far better! I saw it on TV once... Spam! Spam! Spam! Spam! Spam! Spam! Spam! Spam! Spam! Spam! Spam! Spam! Spam! Spam! Spam! Spam!