Behold and bow before the mighty wisdom of Hazunda.

The Wisdom of Hazunda by HCRoyall 9-17-05

Great Hazunda! How can I get the girl of my dreams to notice me? VISIT HER AT WORK AND PUNCH HER IN THE FACE. No, I mean how can I get her to hook up with me? GET HER DRUNK. BARRING THAT, ROOFIES. No, I'm talking about something a little longer lasting than date-rape... BRING HER COFFEE EVERY MORNING JUST THE WAY SHE LIKES IT, BUT SPIKE THE SUGAR WITH COCAINE.

The Wisdom of Hazunda by HCRoyall 9-17-05

You got a letter. "Dear Hazunda, Why does everything taste like chicken?" BECAUSE I LIKE IT THAT WAY. That's it? WHAT? YOU WERE EXPECTING SOMETHING DEEP AND MEANINGFUL?

The Wisdom of Hazunda by HCRoyall 9-17-05

"Dear Hazunda, If you're the god of Boiled Chicken, does that mean Fried Chicken is heresy to you? If so, does that mean you hate black people?" Well? I'M THINKING.

The Wisdom of Hazunda by HCRoyall 9-17-05

Hey, Hazunda. What's the secret to a successful marriage? AS A HUSBAND, THE ONLY THING YOU NEED TO KNOW IS THAT YOU WILL ALWAYS BE WRONG. WHAT? IT'S TRUE.

The Wisdom of Hazunda by HCRoyall 9-17-05

Hazunda, what's the best place to hide the body of a hooker you killed while in a drug induced haze? THE POLICE CHIEF'S BACK YARD. No, seriously... DO IT IN IN BROAD DAYLIGHT, TOO.

Ask ye of his great knowledge and mayhap he shall grace ye with an answer!

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It was such a waste of everyone’s time and money that even the Tokyo stadium’s rape robots apologized– something they were programmed specifically never to do.

The Wisdom of Hazunda by HCRoyall 9-21-05

"Dear Hazunda, My family is poor, and unless my parents can find jobs, we will all surely starve this coming winter. Can you do anything to help?" YES. Well? I SAID I COULD HELP. I NEVER SAID I ACTUALLY WOULD.

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It was such a waste of everyone’s time and money that even the Tokyo stadium’s rape robots apologized– something they were programmed specifically never to do.

i liked the first one and of course the one about black people, brother in the faith

somehow i always thought the Great Hazunda would be wiguZoe1-2 though

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what if nigger meant kite

wiguZoe1-2 speaks through Deuce. It is the only way for mortal minds to comprehend Hazunda without having their brains ooze out through their ears.

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It was such a waste of everyone’s time and money that even the Tokyo stadium’s rape robots apologized– something they were programmed specifically never to do.