Everyone can join in. The rules are simple. Make a famous movie in three panels, but all parts must be played by Abe. Sort of like this.

Abe Vigoda Theatre: Star Wars by kaufman 10-22-05

Help me, Obi-Wan, you're my only hope? WTF? The force is strong in me. You can't survive. If you kill me, I will grow stronger. Bombs away! Beep, boop, gleeble, glorp!

Abe Vigoda Theatre: Twelve Angry Men by kaufman 10-22-05

Let's talk about the case a bit first. Why? He's definitely guilty. I have to say he's not guilty. No way. He's as guilty as sin. Not guilty. You're right.

Abe Vigoda Theatre: Titanic by kaufman 10-22-05

I'm so excited I'm going on this new ship. And then we'll get married if the termites don't eat me first. Are you having fun yet? I'm king of the world! Stupid iceberg. Glub.

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ken.kaufman@gmail.com

Abe Vigoda Theatre: The Bad News Bears by biped 10-22-05

Okay boys, get your lazy good-for-nothing asses out on that field and practice. At this rate, we'll never stand a chance against those Yankees. Whatta ya expect, Boilermaker? All we got on this cruddy team is a buncha jews, spics, niggers, pansies -- and a booger-eatin' moron. C'mon, Amanda... the team needs you. I need you. Let's see that fastball I taught you! NO! I can't be playin' no dumb baseball! I'm almost thirteen, and I -- I'll be getting a BRA soon. HEY, YANKEES! You can take your apology -- AND your trophy -- and SHOVE 'EM STRAIGHT UP YOUR ASS! And another thing -- just wait'll NEXT year!

Abe Vigoda Theatre: A Hard Day's Night by biped 10-22-05

'Ey Paul...who's that little old man, then? Wot little old man? Oh, that's me grandfather. He's very clean. Turn left at Greenland. We're just good friends. SHE LOVES YOU, YEAH-YEAH-YEAH! IT'S BEEN A HAARD DAAY'S NIGHT!

Abe Vigoda Theatre: Shane by biped 10-22-05

My name's Shane. I'm a mysterious gunfighter who wants to settle down and go straight. My, your wife sure looks nice. I mean, those biscuits. I'm Joe Starrett, a farmer who's getting forced off my land by a mean old cattle rancher. 'Course, I wouldn't ask you to kill him and all of his men for me. Nope. So, you're Wilson. I heard about you. Yep -- I heard you were a low-down... Yankee...liar. Prove it, Shane. Well, Riker and Wilson and all the bad guys are dead, and it's time for me to go away. Bye, Little Joe. BUT SHAAANE! PA'S GOT THINGS FOR YOU TO DO! AND MOTHER WANTS YOU WANTS YOU WANTS YOU! I KNOW SHE DOES SHE DOES SHE DOES!

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Legend, oh legend, the third wheel legend...always in the way.

Abe Vigoda Theatre: The Sound of Music by lukket 10-23-05

I've been thrown out from a convent and now I come to apply for the job as a nanny. I will give your children fun and freedom that you won't approve of, and you and I will be lovers in the end Uh... I'm not sure, but the last thing sounds great. You're hired. o/' Raindrops on roses and whiskers on kittens, bright copper kettles and warm woolen mittens o/' o/' I'm here to tell you that singin's forbidden. We German soldiers don't want you to cheer, pack all your luggage and get out of here o/' o/' The hills are alive with the sound of music o/' That's not the sound of music. That's the sound of German guns, and if you don't stop singing, you'll give us away.

Abe Vigoda Theatre: Lord of the Rings 1, 2 and 3 by lukket 10-23-05

The Fellowship of the Ring Frodo, I want you to take this ring and throw it away in Mordor. I'll find some other gullible brave men to accompany you. Why don't you do it yourself? The Two Towers Frodo, have you thrown away the ring yet? Can't you see I'm in the middle of an epic battle? The Return of the King Frodo, you did a brave thing by throwing that ring into the volcano. WTF are you doing here? Why didn't you do it yourself?

Abe Vigoda Theatre: Finding Nemo by lukket 10-23-05

Oh darling, this is so sweet. 1,000,000 little fish babies; what shall we name them all? I think we should call this one Nemo. You just find names for the rest, sweetie. Have you seen my son, Nemo? I don't know. I'm so confused that I don't know if I am he, but I'll follow you on your quest to find him. Oh there you are Nemo. I told you, you shouldn't be worried, dad.

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troelsea at gmail dot com

Abe Vigoda Theatre : Fight Club by finn34 10-23-05

Life insurance pays off triple if you die in a plane crash. I want you to hit me as hard as you can. What? 20 seconds, it's getting exciting. Can you see alright? Tyler, don't do this!

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Our liability coverage is zero. Our balls however are enormous.

Abe Vigoda Theatre : Memento by finn34 10-23-05

!uoy llik I !eiD !G nhoJ er'uoY !ON My wife was killed by John G. I'm gonna kill him. You're John G! Die! I kill you! NO!

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Our liability coverage is zero. Our balls however are enormous.

Abe Vigoda Theatre : The Big Lebowsky by finn34 10-23-05

They peed on your rug, Dude? I'm going to get a new rug! My wife was kidnapped, here's the ransom money. Whatever, man. She kidnapped herself and the German Nihilists cut off their girlfriend's toe. Donny just had a fucking heart attack!

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Our liability coverage is zero. Our balls however are enormous.

Abe Vigoda Theatre: The Crying Game

Is that what it looks like?

by kaufman, 10-23-05

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ken.kaufman@gmail.com