so it deoderizes, so what... can it muffle?
does it put sweet smelling cottony goodness all the way up into your nether regions to stifel any flesh from reverberating and thusly cluing in your acquaintances that just because it smells like lylacs, doesn't mean it's from the botanical gardens?
--- "You'll have to speak up, I'm wearing a towel..." - homer
i can see the commercials now...
suzie: "more beans grampa?"
little billy: "have some more!"
alex : "please?"
announcer: "sure, have all you want! but don't forget your depends with the Under-Ease Insoles (tm)"
(available at fine stores everywhere)
--- "You'll have to speak up, I'm wearing a towel..." - homer
The D-Generation, a long-lived comedy team over here in Oz, did a sketch many years ago on TV, advertising a product called "FartWhistle". Each one makes a distinctive noise, so there is never any debate over who "did it". :)
--- This signature has performed an illegal operation and has been shut down.
Farts are a natural human process. Don't be ashamed to cut one loose... unless you've been especially rotten the last few days, in which you will produce methan gas with enough strength to kill small farm animals... or attract them, depending on their gender.
... okay, maybe that wasn't that good of a suggestion...
Can you imagine what would happen if your freaky parents made you wear these and the other kids at school found out? Plus how much they'd hurt if you got a wedgie with them on? I bet they wouldn't tear like normal underwear. If you got hung on a hook it'd sting like a mofo!