Wondered what you folks thought of the Splice series:

49TC82: Splice 1 by Namgubed 3-01-06

Meanwhile, in a sleepy suburb of Cleveland ... Help, 911! My pet elephant is choking on my pet cat after I filled the litter box with peanut shells!! O ... K, this better not be a crank call, buddy, there are laws, you know. Fluffy's lodged in there pretty good; looks like we're going to need to perform the Heimlich maneuver on him. ** GAG, CHOKE ** How the heck do you do the Heimlich on an elephant? With axes. Very sharp axes.

49TC82: Splice 2 by Namgubed 3-01-06

** HACK, SLASH, BLOOD ** ** CHOP, WHACK, GA-SPLORCH ** Great, we saved Fluffy, but Jumbo is bleeding to death from that laryngotomy! Well, there's only one way we can save your elephant now. With a highly skilled and specialized veterinary doctor? No, dark alchemy!

49TC82: Splice 3 by Namgubed 3-01-06

Hi, I'm Big Al Elric, the Half-Mental Alchemist. Don't worry, we'll get your elephant fixed up in a jiffy! Fine, but why are you wearing that suit of armor? Actually, I AM a suit of armor - but that's another story. Now I've drawn the circle and have my incantation ready, so all I need is a small mammal. Will this cat do? "That'll do nicely. A-la-ka-ZAM!!" KER-TRANS-FORM Hey, wait just a minute ... !

49TC82: Splice 4 by Namgubed 3-01-06

Behold! A completely healthy cat / elephant hybrid chimera! Good lord, haven't you heard the 1980's hit single, "You Shouldn't Splice Cat and Elephant DNA" by Supertramp? What do we call this unholy monstrosity ... an elepheline? Cattlephant? Catchyderm? Decepticat? Cellophane? Kofi Annan? ... Cthulhu? That'll do nicely, puny mortal. Now, if you'll excuse me, I've got a world to conquer, what with being reborn and all.

49TC82: Splice 5 by Namgubed 3-01-06

Great. Now how do we stop my pet Cthulhu from taking over the world? With rosary beads and a reverse incantation? No ... with axes. Very sharp axes. On hallowed groound. Sure enough, one epic supernatural bloodbath and phantasmagoric retransformation later ... That didn't turn out the way it was supposed to. I know. So, what do we do now? Wait... I've got it! We can bury your elephant in this pet cemetary -- Look, why don't you just go down to the pet store and get me a replacement?

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"There's no point in beating a dead horse ... except, of course, for the pure joy of it." - A. Whitney Brown

(Continued)

49TC82: Splice 6 by Namgubed 3-01-06

Later that day, at the pet store ... Well, we're fresh out of elephants, but I do have this very nice emu. Beautiful plumage, the Tazmanian Blue. I'll take it! You moron, not only is this thing dead, it's been stuffed and mounted! I hope you kept the receipt! Inescapably ... I would like to register a complaint concerning this emu I bought not half an hour ago from this very boutique! Ah, yes, the Tazmanian Blue. Beautiful plumage! What's wrong with it?

49TC82: Splice 9 by Namgubed 3-01-06

Six omitted panels of rehashed Monty Python material larer ... What a senseless waste of human life. Sorry, there's nothing more I can do about your elephant, but at least your cat is back to normal. Yeah, but he'll be awfully lonely without Jumbo ... The End ... or IS it? GRRROOAAARRR ... F-F-FFFLLUUUFF-F-FFYYYYY... Boy, I missed you too, Jumbo! ... Say, have you lost weight?

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"There's no point in beating a dead horse ... except, of course, for the pure joy of it." - A. Whitney Brown

I like it with axes. Very sharp axes.

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the kid's getting old, the kid's getting old