since i quit my day job, i'm pickin up more nights at tha Phantasy (yes, the Phantasy). all the extra time there reminds me of the many, many reasons i truly despise the job.
the really ironic thing about this particular place is that it is the only bar/club i've ever been thrown out of. i was 16 and waiting to see Candlemass and got busted for smoking pot. now i bust people for doin it, and take their stash.
but the most disturbing thing about the whole situation is that the guy who threw me out STILL WORKS THERE. that's nineteen years. his name is Gary and occasionally he gives me free drinks.

Last Night, at the Club by AngryAmerican 4-02-06

BACKGROUNG MUSIC: super gay, whiny Emo crap Why can't we have 15 people on our guest list? We're the headliners.. Two reasons fuckbag. One: You've only put 3 paid admissions through the door. Two: I hate you and everything you stand for. Clear things up any? some tiny, muppet-haired guy screaming about how his dad didn't love him or something... Why you gotta be such a hard ass man? "Look at me, I'm a bouncer on my little power trip. I have no life so I have to make everyone else around me as miserable as possible. I'm so tough." Very accurate. Are you trying to get yourself thrown down 2 flights of stairs, or is this how you make friends? (treat everyone who comes through the door with the utmost respect, that's my motto!) Whatever dude, you're a fuckin bitch. Have a great night! Can't wait to hear you play!

All in a nights work by AngryAmerican 4-20-06

What bouncers say... But why can't you just believe me? I've been 21 for two months! I totally just forgot my ID!! Sorry miss, absolutely no one enters without an ID. No exceptions. Have a good night! What bouncers mean... But why can't you just believe me? I've been 21 for two months! I totally just forgot my ID!! You filthy cum-addled slut! I want to smash your face into a steaming pile of my feces while I ruin your little whore ass. Then strangle you for your own good and dump your carcass somewhere damp.

All in a nights work by AngryAmerican 4-20-06

What bouncers say... Oh my god, i'm bleeding! I think you dislocated my shoulder too! I'm sorry sir, but I DID ask you twice to take your hands off me didn't I? Would you like me to call an ambulance? What bouncers mean... Oh my god, i'm bleeding! I think you dislocated my shoulder too! You pathetic little ass chancre! If there weren't 100 people standing around watching you bleed, I would stomp you into a fine, red paste and make your friends suck you off my shoes.

All in A night's Work by AngryAmerican 4-20-06

Drunks are bad for business. Mostly. Fuck You man! You fuckin touch me and you're gonna fuckin regret it! You can't keep me from comin in this club! Sir, you're already intoxicated so I'm NOT going to let you come into my club. There are plenty of other places that will let you in. Let's just do this the easy way, OK? If he looked like he had a lot of money to blow or bribe me with, i woulda let him in. Why is it guys in camo pants never pick the easy way?

All in a Night's Work by AngryAmerican 4-20-06

Sometimes being totally reasonable and friendly when people are secretly hoping you'll be a hardass prick can be lots of fun Fuck you man, I'm not goin anywhere and i didn't do anything wrong. Except for kicking in the door on the bathroom stall you mean? Yeah well I don't know anything about that man. I know the owner motherfucker! I'll have your ass fired! Crazy as it may sound, I know the owner too! Small world, huh? Dude I'll seriously give you 3 fuckin seconds to get the fuck out of my face. You had me at "dude."

i was considering for the last panel of the last comic something like"i knew you were meant for me from the moment you walked through the door" but couldn't resist going with a faded pop culture mainstay.

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Kill Whitey.

Actually, I had a similar(ish) experience to the first comic back when my friends and I got together to put on shows for local metal bands.

One of our scheduled bands (a crappy mallcore band by the name of Esoteric) got all rockstar on us, demanding we let their manager in free. It was made clear long before that, that there was no guest list as the expected turnout was already so low. No exceptions.

The fact is, if the bitch really cared about the band she was managing, she would have paid the fucking $5 charge without complaint. A member of the band became hostile and the manager decided to start raising hell right in the middle of a band's set. Needless to say, we decided we didn't really need that band to play, and gave the extra 40 minutes to the headliner.

Some bands can be complete fucking pricks.

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Do you want ants? Because that's how you get ants.

The motto is use narration boxes just about all of them the time. They are there, you might as well use them. Over and over again.

i always found it funny that people would go out to see one of their friends bands, or roadie for them and expect to get in free. you are there presumably to support your friends, but don't wanna pay a few bucks at the door?
its a fucking business, cough up the dough.
then you can go home safe in the knowledge that your friends band sucks ass, and yet someone paid to see them play.

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Kill Whitey.