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biped 
Mr. Wonderful
Member Rated:
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| Greetings, citizen! I'm your newest superhero-type hero--DEATH MAN! | |
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| "Death Man"? Err...what's your super power? | |
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| My very touch causes INSTANT DEATH! Criminals will fear me! I shall strike TERROR in the hearts of-- | |
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| "Instant death"? Why, that's HORRIBLE--a power more befitting a villain than a superhero! | |
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| LOOK, KID, I CAN'T HELP IT IF--oops, sorry. Didn't mean to wave my arm like that. | |
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| Sorry, ma'am. You see, I was gesturing dramatically, like so, and-- | |
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| Oh, dear. Well, this is a bad start. | |
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| Death Man, your evil reign of terror is over. I'm running you in. | |
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| But I'm on YOUR SIDE, you IDIOT! | |
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| GOOD LORD, YOU KILLED THAT POLICEMAN! YOU--YOU MONSTER! | |
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| Look, I TOLD him not to touch me--oh, screw this! | |
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| Hi, Bob--I mean, DEATH MAN! How'd it go today? | |
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| IT SUCKED! I killed a KID, a WOMAN, and a COP! Oh, yeah, and that GRANNY LADY who kicked me in the NUTS! | |
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| Ooh...that's not gonna look good in your origin story. | |
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| HAVE NO FEAR--uh, I mean, HAVE FEAR! DEATH MAN is here! | |
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| Okay, you got me fair and square. Take me away, Death Man. | |
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| HA-HA, I--well, you see...I don't actually "take" criminals "away." I just, uh, kill them. | |
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| But...it's my first offense. All I did was rob one house...geez, and I gave up, too. | |
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| Well, this isn't very exciting. | |
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| Are you kidding? I almost WET MY PANTS! | |
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| Well? Did you get that job down at the slaughterhouse? | |
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| Yes. But then I shook hands with the boss, and...well, he's dead. | |
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| Let's see...I have an associate's degree in economics...a little retail experience...oh, and, uh... my very touch causes instant death. | |
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| I think you'll fit right into our personnel department, Wiggins. See you Monday morning. | |
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| SIMMONS, YOU'RE FIRED! HA HA! | |
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---
Legend, oh legend, the third wheel legend...always in the way.
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