Ironic celebrity deaths.

That's it. No other rules.

Just make comics featuring or speculating on the ironic demises of famous people. I'll judge in about a week.

CC 332: Introduction by boloboffin 9-07-06

G'day, Mates! I'm Steve Irwin, recently deceased, comin to you live from Heaven itself! I'll be your host for The Universe's Wildest Celebrity Deaths, my new show... So sit back and relax! Only five hundred billion more to go before I get outa Purgat'ry!

The Waiters Just Let Her Drop by boloboffin 9-07-06

Let's welcome our first guest, the legend'ry Ms. Carol Channing!! Hello, hello, all you wonderful people!! So tell us, Sheila, how'dja die? Fell down a flight of stairs.

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You can take the heart out of the hooker but you can't take the hooker out of the heart. -- Frankenhooker

Ironic Celebrity Deaths, The First Season by AngryAmerican 9-07-06

Hello, I'm the Archangel Gabriel, your host for the new Fox series 'Ironic Celebrity Deaths'. In this the first episode, we talk with Scott Weiland of Stone Temple Pilots. This is one great hallucination... Hi Scott! I understand you died from quitting heroin. Pretty ironic, huh? This is some very good shit. I love my ceiling. Is there any particular reason you're dressed as a pirate? Who quit heroin?

Ironic Celebrity Deaths 2 by AngryAmerican 9-07-06

So tell me Paris Hilton, how do you feel about your death? Well, like i never thought that sewing a quilt would ever be so dangerous. Did it ever occur to you the grizzly bears DO NOT have body hair that can be made into wool? Fuck no. The producers of my show, The Simple Life, told me that Scottish knit sweaters right from the bear... Well I for one am shocked... Join us next week when we find out if Rosie O'Donnell could tell the difference between a tuna cannery and a lesbian bar.... We're still on for a third season, right?

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Kill Whitey.

CC 332 by HCRoyall 9-08-06

What happened? Where am I? Ah, Mr. Cruise! So glad to see you've arrived! This isn't right. Heaven doesn't exist! Religion and history are all lies! Tell me what's going on! The Power of Scientology commands you! Here's the deal Tom. Your appendix burst. One too many jumps on Oprah's couch jostled it to the point of no return. Really? No, Really, you got hit by a bus full of your remaining fans.

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It was such a waste of everyone’s time and money that even the Tokyo stadium’s rape robots apologized– something they were programmed specifically never to do.

RCL no. 1254 by RandomComicLayoutGuy 9-08-06

?   Brrrrrrrrrrrrrrr! That just sent a shiver down my spine... Why does everyone pass by me like I'm a ghost or something? ...seeing the ghost of Abe Vigoda appear out of nowhere! ( *movie quote from The Sixth Sense ) HEY, EVERYONE! I'M STILL ALIVE!! I see dead people...walking around like regular people. They don't know they're dead.*

CC 332: Don't you think? by thatsnotfunny 9-08-06

I'd always been a play-it-safe sort of fellow...afraid to fly. But if I didn't make it to Cincinnati by Tuesday we were going to lose the Zimmerman account. I packed this suitcase and kissed my kids goodbye. Somehow I knew I'd never see them again. I see where your story is going, but it's absolutely NOT "ironic". It was when the plane crashed into Alanis Morisette's house.

The Conspiracy by HotRodDeathToll 9-08-06

Did you hear Peter Brock died? Yes, and so did Steve Irwin earlier this week. Sad, isn't it? Two Aussie icons dead in one week. It must be some sort of conspiracy! Who will be next? Delta Goodrem dying from cancer?

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The dictator of love and his weapon of mass destruction

The Perils of Flattery by boloboffin 9-09-06

Welcome back to "The Universe's Wildest Celebrity Deaths" - accept no substitutes! Today's guest: Don Rickles! Thanks, Steve. Long story short: I was crossing the street and got hit by a truck. I don't see what's so ironic about that... It was packed full of copies of How to Win Friends and Influence People being delivered to a local Border's. Oh. That's a little better... Plus, I'd spoted xxausrottenxx across the street and was trying to tell him how much I enjoyed that nice, tight ass of his last night.

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You can take the heart out of the hooker but you can't take the hooker out of the heart. -- Frankenhooker

CC 332: Move over, Jenny... by thatsnotfunny 9-08-06

O Rly? Ya Rly! No Wai! Srsly! Me laff so hard me cry! How embarassing to die of malnutrition. At least I got a sympathy card...what does it say? "Deer Jeni Cregg, we hop you sizzlean in hel now. Luv, Bakin"

CC 332: Doctor...Who? by thatsnotfunny 9-08-06

...and that's when I realized how irresponsible my advice had been during all those years. The guilt was unbearable. There was *nothing* I could change to bring back my self-esteem. So I called Jack Kevorkian for an appointment that same day. But Dr. Phil, you're still alive, and he's dead. I know. The machine backfired while he was setting it up.

CC 332: You Are All So Full Of Shit by cory_feldman 9-09-06

GENERIC STEVE IRWIN CROC-HUNTER JOKE!!! AAAAAAHHHHHH, HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HAHAH AHAHAHAH HAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAA AAHA!!!!!!!!!! And, like... irony, and all, too...you know. Oh. Oh, yeah. Heh.

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You know you love me.

I don't get it.

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You can take the heart out of the hooker but you can't take the hooker out of the heart. -- Frankenhooker

It Looks Exactly Like Him, Shut Up! by boloboffin 9-09-06

Next on our program, the one, the only Mister T!! Aight, mate, tell us how ya died. Well, Steve, I died watching this play, King Lear. I got all choked up over how bad that dude had it, man. Had a heart attack and fell dead on the spot! So it was King Lear's plight killed you... No, man. I pitied the Fool.

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You can take the heart out of the hooker but you can't take the hooker out of the heart. -- Frankenhooker

You get it. You just can't handle it.

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You know you love me.

You get it. You just can't handle it.

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That's not what I heard.

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You can take the heart out of the hooker but you can't take the hooker out of the heart. -- Frankenhooker

That's because you weren't told.

CC 332: Your Shit Stinks by cory_feldman 9-09-06

TOM CRUISE DEAD!!! HA HA!!! SCIENTOLOGY!!! HA HA, YEAH!!! AND, UH--uh...er... And, uh...um...err...

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You know you love me.

That's because you weren't told.

CC 332: Your Shit Stinks by cory_feldman 9-09-06

TOM CRUISE DEAD!!! HA HA!!! SCIENTOLOGY!!! HA HA, YEAH!!! AND, UH--uh...er... And, uh...um...err...

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Look, I've already got an archrival here at SC, so why don't you just fuck off?

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You can take the heart out of the hooker but you can't take the hooker out of the heart. -- Frankenhooker

RCL no. 1255 by RandomComicLayoutGuy 9-10-06

A conversation between Nostradamus and his clerical assistant, Blinky... Wow! What is it? It says here Steve Irwin, that crocodile hunter-guy, died from being attacked by a wild animal... Yeah? Boy, I never saw that coming! Are you clowning me, Michel?

Samuel L Jackson's Death

You must be mothafuckin' kidding me.

by Humpenstein, 9-10-06

Sorry, I didn't realize you were so astoundingly sensitive.

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You know you love me.

speaking of overly sensitive....

Sorry, I didn't realize you were so astoundingly sensitive.

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/me looks around, stunned.

What gave you that impression?

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You can take the heart out of the hooker but you can't take the hooker out of the heart. -- Frankenhooker

I didn't mean to hurt you
I'm sorry that I made you cry
I didn't want to hurt you
I'm just a jealous guy
Look out, babe
I'm just a jealous guy
Watch out, yeah
I'm just a jealous guy.

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You know you love me.

Shutup, you lot.

Do you ever get Deja Vu? by HotRodDeathToll 9-11-06

Hello and welcome to channel 9 news! Apparently some channels are now using the same stories for weeks on end and just crapping on about complete bullshit which has a slight bit of relevance to the origanal story and calling it news. In other news; Steve Irwin died, which has caused major outrage agaisnt sting rays by people around the world. Except for the Japanese They think harpooning things for scientific research is a good thing.

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The dictator of love and his weapon of mass destruction

Major Project Setback by boloboffin 9-11-06

A special Septemb'r Eleventh TUWCD: It's Osama bin Laden! Ooooooo! Usama, actually. Usama it is! Tell us, howdja bite it? And make it good, cuz you're a monsta. Right. Well, actually it was the flu. Took a sniffle and died peacefully in my sleep. Are you kidding? That's not ironic at all! No, but I'd promised Karl that I'd be available for trial in 2008. I don't think he's got anyone in reserve.

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You can take the heart out of the hooker but you can't take the hooker out of the heart. -- Frankenhooker

Ignorance is Fish by NastyPope 9-03-06

Oh ...my....Gawd.... did you hear that Steve Irwin died? Yeah, apparently he got killed by a Stingray in Australia. Really? I didn't know they had corvettes in europe. Oh sweet L. Ron Hubbard save me now.

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At least im still funny .....looking. http://www.carrionfields.com