Until now!

All Fun and Games Until | by Scyess 9-22-06

Hey, Sanna. J-... Jon? Is that you? What the hell? I have a curse on me that's rolled me back to ten months old. I don't really want to talk about it. What do you mean you don't want to talk about it?! How did this happen? Who cursed you?!! He did. Playing gin rummy with tarot cards. I said I DON'T want to talk about it.

All Fun and Games Until ][ by Scyess 9-24-06

What are you going to do about being stuck in a 10-month-old's body? Nothing. I'm kind of enjoying it. It can't be doing much for your romantic life. Actually, having the hormones of a 10-month-old has effectively put an end to my deisre for women -- which is the best thing that's happened to my romantic life in years. Isn't it at least inconvenient? How can you, say, sit on the toilet? Another non-issue. Which reminds me... fetch me someone with opposable thumbs.

All Fun and Games Until ]|[ by Scyess 9-26-06

I can't believe I work fifty hours a week and my husband still expects me to do the laundry! That's nothing! I work sixty hour weeks and my husband has me do the cooking and the cleaning. I wish I had it that easy! During my seventy hour week, my unemployed husband has me give him a two-hour massage after every meal I cook. Ha! After my seven or eight naps, I'm catered to and cooed over by everyone who comes near me! Now that I've won the conversation, how about a changey?

All Fun and Games Until |V by Scyess 9-26-06

What a shitty day. Twelve hours of reading incomprehensable documents and cajoling clients. Me too. I must've been burped, like, seven times and made half a dozen poopies. Didn't you already do this "contrast real life to baby's life" comic? Why don't you fuck off and get some original ideas, you little shit. ... but... no... I mean... we're in a bar now... and... and... Little shit. WWAAAAAHHH!!!

Disorganized Religion | by Scyess 10-09-06

Hello, heathen. Let me save your soul by converting you. Get lost. I don't believe in organized religion. Don't worry. We're totally disorganized. Oh, yeah? What do you believe? I'm not sure, really. Sign me up!

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"Old" is the old new.

Disorganized Religion ][ by Scyess 10-09-06

Welcome to the first meeting of our Disorganized Religion. Step one is to figure out what we belive. Why don't we have a god? Or maybe several? How about a father and a son? Yeah! And a cousin, and then some puppies! Oh, yeah. Definitely puppies. Puppies are key. Worship the puppies!

Disorganized Religion ]|[ by Scyess 10-09-06

All right! I've found a new religion, so we have to perform our pre-meal ritual before we eat. Okay. What is it? Uh, well... um... I kinda don't know yet. I can see why you find this life path so much more fulfilling. Hey! I said it was new, all right!

Disorganized Religion |V by Scyess 10-09-06

People are making fun of my newfound faith. I think I want out of your religion. Before you make that decision, check out what's in that box. PUPPIES! I'll never doubt again! Hallelujah!

Disorganized Religion V by Scyess 10-09-06

You heathen scum. You will find your false religion has not prepared you for damnation in the afterlife! Well, maybe not. But my religion has puppies! Puppies? That's your religion? Puppies? Yep! Loads of them! They're adorable! For some reason I find that irresistably appealing. But do you get to wrap ladies' underwear around your head? Not yet, but we can bring it up at the next meeting.

Disorganized Religion V| by Scyess 10-09-06

A new religion is sweeping the world -- threatening to become the most popular movement ever. Our reporter Grape Levine interviewed its founder. So what is your religion all about? =============== Uh, what? =============== That's it? Puppies. =============== Puppies. =============== Maybe. We haven't really thought this through a whole lot. So it's not so much a religion as it is a... "dogma?" Ha ha! OW! Hey! OW!!! I've gotta sign me up for this shit.

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"Old" is the old new.

Disorganized Religion V][ by Scyess 10-09-06

In a move that shocked the world, Iranian president Mahmoud Ahmadinejad today announced that Iran was replacing Islam as its official religion with puppies. "From now on, whenever the US does something stupid, we will simply smile and send them a fuzzy puppy," he said in a prepared statement. The US immediately reported a huge increase in the number of southeastern Asian immigrants wielding forks. The administration denies any correlation.

Disorganized Religion V]|[ by Scyess 10-09-06

We've got to do something to put an end to this new "puppies" religion. It's eroding my fundamentalist base. Yes, Mr. President. What should we do? We've got to do something that wins the hearts and mind of Americans and the world. Let's slaughter all the puppies. I knew he was going to say that.

Disorganized Religion |X by Scyess 10-09-06

Have you converted yet? I don't know. Can your religion turn me back into an adult? Sure, why not? Yes! Can your religion give me a schlong the size of a semi? I guess so! Can your religion get me out from underneath a 30-ton schlong?

Disorganized Religion X: The God Couple by Scyess 10-09-06

Buddha, it seems like people are eschewing our respective religions for puppies. Indeed. My stock is already down 30% on the Universal Religious Exchange. I think it's time I took drastic action. You go, girlfriend. I've got your back. Blaaaaah! Look! I'm dying for your sins!!! That's so 1st century. Fetch a ball and yip adorably and we'll talk.

Disorganized Religion X| by Scyess 10-09-06

C'mon! Doesn't anyone care! I'm dying for your sins over here! Isn't that more important than puppies, ferchrissakes! ALL RIGHT! ALL RIGHT! YOU CAN RUB MY BELLY! HAPPY NOW?! Your belly doesn't look fuzzy to me!

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"Old" is the old new.

Disorganized Religion X][ by Scyess 10-09-06

Tonight on Crossfire, two opponents vie for the love and support of the American people... Jesus Christ v.s. a puppy! Uh... Jesus? Could you please stop getting blood on our carpet? "Impartial panel" my sacrificial ass. Let the record show that I never messed on the carpet.

Disorganized Religion X]|[ by Scyess 10-09-06

I hope you're satisfied. Your religion is causing so much sectarian tension half the world is trying to kill the other half. So? Like you never did anything wrong. How many jaywalking tickets have you not paid? I hardly feel that's along the same lines as... Are you Jon? You're coming with me.

Disorganized Religion X|V by Scyess 10-09-06

People everywhere are at war. The death and destruction increases every day. The logical conclusion is that all civilization will descend into oblivion. But -- my god -- don't they know about the PUPPIES?! Did you hear about the puppies? They're so cute! They are! What the hell are we doing? Let's go pet them! ...and the whole world lived happily ever after. The end.

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"Old" is the old new.

I <3 these comics.

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It was such a waste of everyone’s time and money that even the Tokyo stadium’s rape robots apologized– something they were programmed specifically never to do.

These comics literally raped me, but I guess it isn't rape if I enjoyed it that much.....

These comics opened me up to a new lifestyle that I'm sure will allow me to express myself more freely and openly than ever before. I truly thank you for making me a happier person by posting your hilarious comics.

I suddenly want a fuzzy smiling puppy to read your comics with. YOU! YOU DID THIS TO ME!

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the kid's getting old, the kid's getting old

Jesus Christ vs. a puppy. Genius.

I found several to be hilarious, but the wording on a few of them troubled my emotions and I wasn't able to fully enjoy them. Perhaps if I read them at dusk.