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Stripcreator » Comic Showcase » Could You Be My Neighbor? Series

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Xuanwu
The Professor

Member Rated:

I'm just going to post some of the more recent ones. For the older comics, see the series.

Could You Be My Neighbor? Part 12 by Xuanwu
9-27-06
Ew! What's that horrendous smell?
That's the local band. They just released a new CD and have come back from touring.
Why do they stink so much?
They were playing in abattoirs around the country.
Abattoirs? Isn't that a bit...odd?
They were inspired when the press said their music was offal.

Could You Be My Neighbor? Part 13 by Xuanwu
10-13-06
I noticed there are a lot of Corolla wagons around.
A mathematician was giving them away a little while back.
Giving them away? Why would he do that?
He was studying Matrix multiplication.

Could You Be My Neighbor? Part 14 by Xuanwu
10-17-06
Wow, that guy's carrying a lot of beer.
He's a historian. He's doing research on a theory by a 20th century American psychologist.
What's the theory?
Basically, when a person is really thirsty, they'll drink any beer that comes. But as their thirst lessens, they get more choosy.
What's the theory called?
"Maslow's Hierarchy of Meads."

Could You Be My Neighbor? Part 15 by Xuanwu
10-18-06
Wow, that guy is loaded. What's he do for a living?
He's in the film industry. He specializes in distribution.
Film distribution? How is that lucrative?
He found a way to package discs for ultra-high end customers using gemstones.
What'd he call it?
"Movies on Diamond."

Could You Be My Neighbor? Part 16 by Xuanwu
10-20-06
Look's like they have a big event going on at the local college.
They're hosting a conference on world politics. Lots of international figures are going to give presentations.
Who are the guests?
England's Prime Minister, the President of China, the Russian President, lots of others.
Do you know the speaking order?
Hu's on first.

10-23-06 9:38pm (new)
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Xuanwu
The Professor

Member Rated:

Could You Be My Neighbor? Part 17 by Xuanwu
10-23-06
I'm thinking of taking a vacation. Know a good one?
The local travel agent, Mr. Robinson, handles some trips.
What's he got?
His most popular offering is time on a luxury liner where you learn knitting.
That doesn't sound very exciting.
You don't like Robinson's Cruise Sew?

Could You Be My Neighbor? Part 18 by Xuanwu
10-23-06
I just came back from volunteering on a farm. Here's an ear of corn.
Thanks!
If you ever need help blessing a meal, I'll be there to help.
That's good to know.
What was that about?
A maize and grace.

10-23-06 9:39pm (new)
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Xuanwu
The Professor

Member Rated:

New one.

Could You Be My Neighbor? Part 19 by Xuanwu
10-25-06
Ew, who's that guy urinating on the auto over there?
Oh, that's just Crazy Jonathan. He's harmless.
Why do people let him get away with that?
He's something of a celebrity around here.
I've never heard of him.
Really? Lots of newspapers had headlines about "Jon Marks Car."

10-25-06 10:24am (new)
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Xuanwu
The Professor

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Could You Be My Neighbor? Part 20 by Xuanwu
10-28-06
Lots of noise coming from that building over there.
That's the home of the local mouthwash magnate.
What's he doing?
Looks like he's erecting some statues on the outer walls.
Isn't that a bit out of place on a modern structure?
I guess he really likes gargle-oyles.

10-29-06 12:40am (new)
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biped
Mr. Wonderful

Member Rated:

It's like all the endings of "Mr. Peabody and Sherman" put together.

---
Legend, oh legend, the third wheel legend...always in the way.

10-31-06 10:37am (new)
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Xuanwu
The Professor

Member Rated:

As much as I like being compared to that show, I think this is more like all the endings of Peabody and Sherman put together:

Could You Be My Neighbor - Peabody and Sherman by Xuanwu
11-01-06
I guess you could say we had the "mill" of adventure.
Ha ha! Very good, Mr. Peabody!
Now, Sherman, it's time for my bath.
Um... I'm not really ready right now...
I said it's time to LICK MY BALLS, BITCH!
R-r-right away, Mr. Peabody!

And some new comics in the regular series:

Could You Be My Neighbor? Part 21 by Xuanwu
11-01-06
Did you hear about the major epidemic in the midwest?
I did. The symptoms seemed pretty nasty.
Yeah. Massive dehydration plus constipation.
Sounds like a real "Dust Bowel."

Could You Be My Neighbor? Part 22 by Xuanwu
11-01-06
There's some kind of weird device by the grocery store.
That's a RAID array. The grocer built it from fruit.
Why would he use fruit for that?
He says the array has great pear-ity.

Could You Be My Neighbor? Part 23 by Xuanwu
11-01-06
I notice the butcher is using a slide rule when he weighs the meat.
He took a statistics course over the summer. He's gotten good at calculating portions.
But what's that equation he wrote on the back wall for?
It's for finding the meat-ian.

11-01-06 11:44am (new)
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Xuanwu
The Professor

Member Rated:

Could You Be My Neighbor? Part 24
I heard they're coming out with a new brand of sound proofing for bathrooms.
It's for people who want their privy-cy.
  by Xuanwu, 11-15-06 

11-15-06 10:38am (new)
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HCRoyall
100mg Thorazine, Please

Member Rated:

The punning... the punning...

---
It was such a waste of everyone’s time and money that even the Tokyo stadium’s rape robots apologized– something they were programmed specifically never to do.

11-15-06 11:04am (new)
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Xuanwu
The Professor

Member Rated:

In honor of the coming Nintendo launch on Sunday (and because the last few comics were so short):

Could You Be My Neighbor? Part 25 by Xuanwu
11-17-06
1.
Are you going to buy the new Nintendo console?
Nah. I'm trying to Wii-n myself off gaming.
2.
So I headed up to Quebec to try and get a PS3. I ask him if they've sold out and you know what he said?
"Wii!"
3.
They're going to make a next-gen game based on Terry Pratchett's young adult series.
"Wii Free Men."

11-17-06 9:17am (new)
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Xuanwu
The Professor

Member Rated:

Could You Be My Neighbor? Part 26
Why is that guy carrying photos of Chiang Kai-shek?
His doctor said he needed a Mao-Inhibitor.
  by Xuanwu, 11-17-06 

 

Could You Be My Neighbor? Part 27 by Xuanwu
11-26-06
I hear our cable company got bought by China's main telecom company.
Yep. Now we get both American and Chinese broadcasts.
Anything worth watching?
There's one show with a Confucian comedian. He copied the format from a program they have on Comedy Central.
What's it called?
"Mind of Mencius."

11-26-06 1:16am (new)
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Xuanwu
The Professor

Member Rated:

Could You Be My Neighbor? Part 28 by Xuanwu
11-28-06
Where did all the people with the foam swords go?
I hear they went to an international live action role-playing convention.
I wonder what country would want to host LARPers from around the world.
Melee-sia.

 

Could You Be My Neighbor? Part 29
Why are those evangelicals picketing the library?
They heard it was full of page-ns.
  by Xuanwu, 11-28-06 

 

Could You Be My Neighbor? Part 30 by Xuanwu
11-28-06
Blessed is he who is without a partner! For he has resisted the temptation of sinful fornication with another human!
Praise to those who choose to be celibate and alone! They walk the righteous path and shall know God!
What's going on over there?
Singles worship.

 

For whatever reason, when I see a Church advertise "Singles worship," that's always what I think of. 

11-28-06 8:32pm (new)
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Xuanwu
The Professor

Member Rated:

Could You Be My Neighbor? Part 31 by Xuanwu
12-02-06
I'm thinking of drying some grapes for fun.
I wouldn't. The last guy who tried was arrested.
Huh? On what charge?
Disorderly conduct. The cops said he was raisin hell.

12-02-06 12:50am (new)
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Xuanwu
The Professor

Member Rated:

12-08-06 9:09am (new)
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Xuanwu
The Professor

Member Rated:

I was in Philly over the weekend and this came to mind.

 
Could You Be My Neighbor? Part 33 by Xuanwu
1-21-07
I'm going to visit Philadelphia; get some cheese steak.
Watch out for the graphite dust. There's a lot of it.
Why?
It's in Pencil-vania.

1-21-07 7:03pm (new)
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Xuanwu
The Professor

Member Rated:

Could You Be My Neighbor? Part 34
I hear they're drilling holes into the walls of the Pentagon.
Yeah. They're bringing back the draft.
  by Xuanwu, 1-22-07 

 

Could You Be My Neighbor? Part 35 by Xuanwu
1-22-07
World of Warcraft just had a huge online competition for best guild.
Yep. A group of Amish teens won.
How'd they do that?
Apparently it was a combination of high connection speeds and their skill as wizards.
That's really surprising.
Well, they're from LAN Caster.

1-22-07 11:18pm (new)
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Xuanwu
The Professor

Member Rated:

Could You Be My Neighbor? Part 36 by Xuanwu
2-04-07
The Geneva Conventions have been updated, I hear.
Yep. Now they specifically ban the use of pastries in interrogations.
Pastries? On what basis?
They considered them "cruller and unusual" punishment.

2-04-07 1:10am (new)
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Xuanwu
The Professor

Member Rated:

Could You Be My Neighbor? Part 37
I hear the gaming convention banned foam swords.
Yeah. The LARPers were getting high off PVC.
  by Xuanwu, 2-07-07 

 

Could You Be My Neighbor? Part 38 by Xuanwu
7-08-07
Hey, that was a neat trick.
Thank you.
I've never seen anyone juggle six lamps at once before. How did you do it?
They were very light.

 

Could You Be My Neighbor? Part 39 by Xuanwu
7-08-07
I hear Warner Bros. Animation has been laying off voice actors.
Yeah. Tara Strong and Hynden Walch both got the axe.
Weren't they the ones who played Raven and Starfire? They were great!
Yeah. Now they'll have to titan their purse strings.

 

If you don't get the last one...read more comic books.

7-08-07 2:32am (new)
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Xuanwu
The Professor

Member Rated:

Two more:

Could You Be My Neighbor? Part 40 by Xuanwu
7-22-07
Citrus farmers are going through a rough spot this year.
Yeah. Some singers are organizing a fund raising event to help them.
What are they calling it?
Lime Aid.

Could You Be My Neighbor? Part 41 by Xuanwu
7-22-07
What's that on the TV?
"Avatar: The Last Airbender." It's actually pretty good.
Later...
Wow, that Zuko guy sure is mad.
He has Aang-er issues.
I like the way the heroes put up a good fight.
Yeah. They can really Sokka it to them.

41 was inspired by a long marathon of Avatar on NickToons. Addictive stuff...

7-22-07 9:34pm (new)
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NooniePuuBunny
Horny Female Tentacled Kaiju from Outer Space

Member Rated:

Xuanwu

Xuanwu

<3  Best. Geek Comics. Evar.

---
I will rate you hard, and unendingly.

7-23-07 8:04am (new)
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Xuanwu
The Professor

Member Rated:

Thanks! The "meat-ian" joke came to me while I was in stat class.

Could You Be My Neighbor? Part 42 - The Formula by Xuanwu
7-24-07
[Opening banter]
[Friendly reply]
[Lead-in]
[Foreshadowing response]
[Setup]
[Pun-chline]

Could You Be My Neighbor? Part 43
They say less and less girls are entering cloisters.
I guess they think it's a bunch of nun-sense.
  by Xuanwu, 7-24-07 

Could You Be My Neighbor? Part 44
Ice cream seems to be selling well among Zen Buddhists these days.
They need something to put in their koans.
  by Xuanwu, 7-25-07 

7-25-07 6:25pm (new)
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Xuanwu
The Professor

Member Rated:

In honor of the US's current credit woes.

Could You Be My Neighbor? Part 45 by Xuanwu
8-10-07
They're getting ready to make a sequel to the Transformers movie.
Yeah. Optimus is going to be an underwater vessel this time.
Why would they do that?
The producers want to appeal to the Sub Prime market.

8-10-07 8:13pm (new)
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Xuanwu
The Professor

Member Rated:

Could You Be My Neighbor? Part 46
That guy's wearing a suit covered in thumbtacks.
He must have heard that every girl's crazy for a sharp dressed man.
  by Xuanwu, 8-12-07 

Could You Be My Neighbor? Part 47 by Xuanwu
8-12-07
Archeologists are saying Egyptians made contact with ancient Scandinavians.
Probably happened when they ventured into the Arctic Circle. First time they ever saw frozen water!
Apparently that's what inspired one of the goddesses in their pantheons.
Yep. Ice-is.

8-12-07 8:11pm (new)
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Xuanwu
The Professor

Member Rated:

Could You Be My Neighbor? Part 48 by Xuanwu
8-13-07
Have you seen the plot details of the next Star Trek movie?
Yeah. The Enterprise has to save the Norns.
The Norns are just a race of advanced time controlling aliens, right?
Yeah. They use a device that looks like a weaving machine to manipulate fate via entropic forces.
I really hope Patrick Stewart makes a cameo.
"Make it sew."

8-13-07 9:47pm (new)
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Xuanwu
The Professor

Member Rated:

8-31-07 1:24pm (new)
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