We got a coupon for Bed, Bath and Beyond in the mail yesterday. It's for 20% off a single item. They send these out every month or two. I think the idea is to get you into the store where you'll buy a bunch of other shit you didn't need.
Anyway, here's my awesome plan.
Start with $80. With your money and your coupon, you now have the ability to get a $100 item. Buy something that costs $100. A week or so later, bring it back. Tell them that you got it as a gift, and you already have a lobster neuterer. Sorry, no reciept. They'll give you a store credit voucher for $100. Wait.
A month or so later, another coupon will show up. Head to the store with it and your credit voucher. Now you can buy $125 worth of stuff. And still you only laid out $80 to begin with. Now it's like you're shopping with a 36% off coupon.
When you return with the ox-testicle roaster a few weeks down the road you'll get that $125 voucher, which will buy you $156 worth of stuff when that next coupon rolls around! Shit! We're almost at 50% off!
Through the magic of compounding interest, it'll only take 13 coupons before we can purchase over $1000 of merchandise.
44 coupons and that'll be $1,000,000! You could buy a lot of ice cream scoops with that.
By 69 coupons we'll be pushing a third of a billion dollars, and that should be enough to buy the company; lock, stock and crate and barrel.
So that's my plan. Nobody steal my idea.
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100 pounds of shit in a 25 pound sack.
