This is an actual transcript of a phone call I had today (except my last comment is something I wished I'd said...)

[Click to view comic: 'True Stories of the Reference Librarian Patrol 4/21/07 Pt. 1']

[Click to view comic: 'True Stories of the Reference Librarian Patrol 4/21/07 Pt. 2']

---
I has a flavor!

You'd probably like my new service KickInTheFace.com. For a modest fee, I can search our network of over 7,500 registered 'Master Booters' across the country and find one close to your designated kickee. With instant payment via credit card or Paypal we can have your kick delivered within 15 minutes or it's free! You can even log onto our website and see your kick delivered in real time! The future of stupidity related violence is here!

---
100 pounds of shit in a 25 pound sack.

you mean something like this?

[Click to view comic: 'The FPD: Making A Difference']

[Click to view comic: 'The FPD: Making a Difference']

[Click to view comic: 'The FPD: Making a Difference']

[Click to view comic: 'The FPD: Making a Difference']

---
Kill Whitey.

[Click to view comic: 'FPD']

[Click to view comic: 'FPD']

---
Kill Whitey.

I  made this alternate ending for you:
[Click to view comic: 'Reference Librarian - Remix']

---
troelsea at gmail dot com

More reference fun!

[Click to view comic: 'True Librarian Stories: Raw... Naked.']

---
I has a flavor!

My day make me scrape my face off with some scissors.  How was yours?

[Click to view comic: 'True Librarian Stories: Shudder in Revulsion.']

---
I has a flavor!

Oh, and while I'm on the topic, the woman who asked the question in panel number two of this classic was recently arrested for running a crack house.  Shit, what a shocker!

[Click to view comic: 'Reference Questions From Another Dimension Part One']

---
I has a flavor!