The Toga Bar - Messages by up4abeer 4-09-07

I've tried emailing her, calling her, and texting her. No reponse. Do you think she's avoiding me? It could be that global warming is disrupting all forms of electronic transmissions. I hadn't thought of that. I bet she thinks I'm avoiding her. Then again maybe she's not interested in you or worse she thinks you are a scary obsessed freak. She sent me a card on Valentines Day. That was a restraining order.

The Toga Bar - What the hell. by up4abeer 5-07-07

What are you doing here? I have come to remind people that sex is natural and war is not. I'm here for karaoke. What are you going to sing? "Onward Christian Soldiers" and "Keep Your Hands to Yourself" You are such an Asshole.

 

The Toga Bar - Getting Lucky by up4abeer 5-10-07

Why are you looking at me? I'm sorry. It's just that I have a clown fetish. I want you now funny man. Wow. This sort of thing never happens to me. So maybe this is your lucky night. You have a dick don't you. A big one.

The Toga Bar - Happy Hour by up4abeer 5-11-07

David Schwimmer or Tom Cruise. Got to go with Schwimmer. Dodge Neon or Chevy Tracker. Definitely Neon. Atlanta or Miami. No Contest. Miami. Suspenders or Bow Ties. Suspenders aren’t gay. By the way pink dress shirts are totally gay. Only catchers wear pink shirts. Anyone with suspenders should just walk around on their knees with their mouth open.

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Shovel Ready

I'm starting to wish I was you.

I frequent a pub next door to a hotel. No more explanation needed.

The Toga Bar - Shameless by up4abeer 6-27-07

Why are you looking at my breasts? I'm staying in the hotel next door. I have a suite with a hot tub. Wanna see? I see the wedding ring. What about your wife? She's more tubby than hot. Shameless Pig I love perky little tits.

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Shovel Ready

You sir, are a delightfully humorous cunt.

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It was such a waste of everyone’s time and money that even the Tokyo stadium’s rape robots apologized– something they were programmed specifically never to do.

getting lucky made me lof

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what if nigger meant kite

The Toga Bar - Clarity by up4abeer 8-08-07

I thought I'd find you here looking to put your horse in a different stall. What? I don't have a horse. By horse I mean cock and by stall I mean.. Is that your kid behind you? Mommy what's a... It's a male chicken.

The Toga Bar - Friend in Need by up4abeer 8-08-07

Lisa still won't return my calls. And I lost my job today. Your credit card was just rejected. I'll need cash. I'll clean out my savings and spend the entire week here drinking with you. I have a flight voucher. You can use it to get out of town. Consider it a gift to me. Don't you mean "from" me. You should pack.

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Shovel Ready

The Toga Bar - Choices by up4abeer 3-23-09

Only through Jesus shall one be with God and avoid the eternal lake of fire. Jihad to zionist infidel dogs. Priase to Muhammad, for only he is praiseworthy Let Budda the "Enlightened One" lead us to eternal peace. A life of simple purity is the only way to the kingdom They can't all be right. We can agree on that. True. However they can all most certainly be wrong.

The Toga Bar - Accountability by up4abeer 2-12-09

The market experts predicted growth in banking and real estate. They fucked up. You in turn advised your clients to invest heavily in banking and real estate. I fucked up. I am now so broke I was wondering if urinal cakes are edible. You fucked up.

The Toga Bar - I Think by up4abeer 2-09-09

They call me "Fireball." Why do ya'll think they call me "Fireball"? I think a bee stung your nuts. I think you give mentho-lyptus blow jobs. I think you lit a fart and something went dreadfully wrong Ya'll could have just said you don't give a fuck. We didn't want to seem rude. Beer?

The Toga Bar - Friendship by up4abeer 4-16-08

I kinda had sex with you ex-wife last night. I didn't want you to hear from anyone else. Kinda? I'm so sorry. I really like her. I know this is bad news for you my friend. Well the good news for you my friend is that herpes is treatable. Did you just say herpes is treatable? Well kinda.

The Toga Bar - Soul Mates by up4abeer 9-07-07

Knock it off you two. He didn't literally pour his soul into it

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Shovel Ready

Damn I missed you. Not in a prison sort of way, but close.

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Kill Whitey.

The Toga Bar - It's Hell by up4abeer 3-27-09

You've been hanging here alot lately. Things ok at home? I think I'm burned out. You wouildn't believe what a pain some of those assholes can be. We've got Hitler with his gay ass moutstash and that whiny bitch Elena Ceausescu. Sounds like hell. And don't even get me started on Jerry Farwell.

The Toga Bar - It's Your Thing by up4abeer 3-30-09

You should join us for worship Sunday morning. I think not. Do you have a problem with church? What you folks do on Sunday morning is your business and I support your right to do as you wish. It’s just that seeing it makes me uncomfortable. Attending church makes you uncomfortable? As do the films “Brokeback Mountain” and “Milk.”

The Toga Bar - Discrimination by up4abeer 3-30-09

I can't believe you. This is 21st century. You can't refuse me service. The hell I can't. Your kind is not welcome here. I have money you asshole and I expect to be served Any money you have is stolen. GET OUT NOW! Fucking bankers. I tossed a stockbroker out of my place yesterday.

 

The Toga Bar - Contradictions by up4abeer 3-31-09

I am absolutely pro-life. Every life is sacred. So I assume you oppose the death penalty. Hell no. Kill them sooner rather than later. I'm sorry I don’t see how you can claim to be pro-life when it comes unborn fetuses and yet pro-death when dealing with adults. I find your selective system of morals very disingenuous. I accept your apology. And uh thank you.

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Shovel Ready

I wish I worked at the Toga Bar.

Or just drank there.

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Kill Whitey.

AngryAmerican

The bar that is the inspiration for the Toga Bar is an interesting little pub.  A few (not all) of the Toga Bar comics were inspired by actual events and converstions from the real bar. 

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Shovel Ready