For some reason, I started making a comic series featuring a character who has to run over old ladies. As it progressed, it become more about parodying the movie industry. Enjoy!

Old Ladies 1 by ojcme 6-09-07

Do you understand why I pulled you over, sir? I swear to god, officer, I haven't been drinking one bit. That's perfectly fine. But, uh, you seem to have driven over several old ladies. Did you see the last one? She flipped over my hood, and landed right smack on the pavement! SMACK! SMACK! HAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHA

Old Ladies 2 by ojcme 6-09-07

You bastard! What? Who's there? It's me, one of the grannies you ran over, you deliquent! I was just minding my own business, scheming the takeover of the world, when you had to run me over! I knew you were scheming the takeover of the world! But why? Because you little rascals are destroying the precious fields of hard candy, which we use in our rituals to summon the gods of elder. Wow, this means I get to save the world...and run over old women! How do I get so lucky?

Old Ladies 3 by ojcme 6-09-07

YOU LET HIM GET AWAY! I'm sorry boss, he used some kind of...some kind of mind trick on me! Well, I guess that's alright. I mean, if he truly is the chosen one, I shall see him again soon. Yes sir. Let's just summarize our position here, just in case there are some readers that are confused. Alright, we're the secret police force tasked with keeping the legends of the elder gods a secret. I am one of their creatures. That'll do sir.

Old Ladies 4 by ojcme 6-10-07

Oh man, this is a huge responsibility I don't know how to deal with this. Do you know you ran a red light? Listen, I have to get to the master to learn my true destiny. I have to run over dead ladies to prevent a horrible elder god from being summoned by sacrifices of medicare and hard candy. Shit.

Old Ladies 5 by ojcme 6-10-07

Well, here I am, in jail. I wonder how I'm supposed to save the world while in prison. You have the gift. You will find your way. Who said that? Oh, you must be the master, what should I do? How do I go on? You must have faith in your abilities. When the time is right, you will know what you must do. I don't even know if I can do this. How will I know? It's very simple: Just keep your foot on the gas, and if they go under, it can only help.

---
Hooray for catharsis!

Old Ladies 6 by ojcme 6-10-07

I can't believe I managed to sneak out of that police station with just a bent spoon. Now, I gotta just believe in myself, but I have so many doubts. How will I know what to do when the time is right? Okay, there's an old lady. I just have to listen to what the retard said to me. I did it! I can do this! I swear, right now, that I will drive over any old lady that gets in my way. Nothing can stop me now!

Old Ladies 7 by ojcme 6-10-07

There has to be some kind of connection. We be here for hours! I needs me a colt .45! Hold on, Shanequa. Hmmm, this old lady was hit by a car, exactly like the other old ladies in this case. So some white cracka hit some old broads? What's that got to do with anythang? I believe this has something to do with secret societies. There isn't any other explaination. You a crazy foo.

Old Ladies 8 by ojcme 6-10-07

Hey babe, want to help me keep old ladies from summoning a ferocious elder god by running over them? NO! YOU SEEM LIKE SOME KIND OF RAPIST. It's okay, I'm the chosen one. I think my dying father said something about that. He died in my arms, which is why I whore myself on the streets. I'm totally down with that. I have a heart of gold.

Old Ladies 9 by ojcme 6-11-07

This felon has got to be around here somewhere. I must find him so I can learn about this secret society. I kind of like him, he's getting rid of the loose fabric of society. Oh, you're back. So, where's lunch? Dey run outta ribs. Youse want some fried chickin? NOOOOOOOOOOO! I was going to have her work under me and the wife! I will find you. old lady killer, and I will kill you!

Old Ladies 10 by ojcme 6-12-07

Okay, old lady, tell me where this old lady killer is and you'll go free. I swear to you , young man, I have no idea what you're talking about. DAMNIT! STOP RIGHT THERE! Can I join you in killing old ladies? I recently practiced by pulling my mother off of life support. Sure, hop on!

[Click to view comic: 'Old Ladies 11']

[Click to view comic: 'Old Ladies 12']

[Click to view comic: 'Old Ladies 13']

[Click to view comic: 'Old Ladies 14']

---
Hooray for catharsis!

Fun series.  I especially liked #8.

---
peddling the funny around since 09/24/2002

I whole-heartedly agree with the above statement.

---
It was such a waste of everyone’s time and money that even the Tokyo stadium’s rape robots apologized– something they were programmed specifically never to do.

truly excellent

---
Kill Whitey.

Careful... that little old lady is my character.

---
“It is only with the heart that one sees rightly; what is essential is invisible to the eye.” - The Little Prince by Antoine de Saint-Exupéry (1945)