Tomorrow marks the 400th anniversary of the founding of the greatest country in the land -- the United States of America. It is at this time we celebrate that glorious day when a wrathful God arose from the sea, and grabbing hold of New England with one hand and Florida with the other, gave a mighty shake that flung the heathen Indians into the Pacific once and for all. Thus was the way cleared for the settlers to spread across the land, erecting the first churches and Walmarts and high school football stadiums. With a little help from eager interns brought over from Africa at no expense, thier descendents built this nation.
There are other countries, of course, but they aren't as good from what I hear. I mean, Lithuania??? Get real.
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I was gonna send a robot back in time, but I got high.
