when I say all of you I mean individually and not combined and also that doesn't include people who are funnier than I am

i bet i am the first person ever to think of this one by dcomposed 8-23-07

Hey get the fuck out of here cow. You just showed your lactose intolorance.

life in the fast lane

Did you manage to get her in the sack? Yeah but I had to cut her up first.

by dcomposed, 11-09-07

wall nuts by dcomposed 11-12-07

I need a new wallet. What are you going to do about it? I'm going to pickpocket someone. And hopefully he will have enough money for me to buy a wallet.

An American, an Australian and a Canadian walk into a bar by dcomposed 11-15-07

My state is named after a president. Oh yeah? Well my state is named after a queen! What the fuck is a state?

A lawyer walks into a bar exam by dcomposed 11-15-07

I already used the joke in the title. It is too bad you died before you could revise your joke to say law student instead of lawyer.

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Batman created by Bob Kane

- by dcomposed 6-12-07

Well, you've finally won your first professional golf tournament. Are you worried people are going to compare you to Woods? I don't think so. Don played in the NFL and I'm a pro golfer so I don't know why that would happen.

african humour by dcomposed 6-10-07

Who is your favourite African American actor? Charlize Theron. I don't think she's American. God don't make me choose a nigger.

a really small person in prison by dcomposed 6-07-07

- by dcomposed 3-14-07

Hey baby, I am looking for some sexual chocolate. I don't have any sexual chocolate. Not even any shaped like a vagina? No. I will settle for your actual vagina.

american humour (humor)

Mr. Edwards, what is your stance when it comes to homosexual relations? On my hands and knees with my ass in the air.

by dcomposed, 3-14-07

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Batman created by Bob Kane

The Inquisition by dcomposed 3-05-07

How do you think our meeting went? It dispelled a great myth. Which one? Whoever smelt it dealt it.

Let the Eagle Soar by dcomposed 3-05-07

Wow, you didn't hold back at all in that last meeting. Since the promotion, my tolerance for people wasting my time has gone way down. Don't you feel like an ass though? Yes. But that can wait until after work.

pakistan humour by dcomposed 2-11-07

Good News, Bin Laden has been caught. Yay. Yep, out for 42.

- by dcomposed 2-11-07

Because it is black history month I have come to teach you kids about the history of blacks in our community. Armed robbery, assault with a deadly weapon, attempted murder, first-degree burglary, aggravated battery, rape, Black History Month is not until October. Just watch out okay.

Police humour by dcomposed 1-18-07

Hey kid is your mother home? No she is at the shops. What's the problem? She is wanted for lewd conduct. She already has a boyfriend.

---
Batman created by Bob Kane

Barack Obama in a political debate by dcomposed 1-17-07

Your middle name is Hussein and your last name is very similar to Osama. Yeah well my first name is similar to The Rock. Damn I really like him.

bird humour by dcomposed 1-10-07

Yo dude I fucked this really hot bird last night. What was her name? I don't know it was just a pigeon.

it is important that the arts be represented in our schools by dcomposed 1-07-07

And that concludes today's lesson on the invasion of Poland. Are there any questions? I have one. What is it? What you gon' do with all that junk? All that junk inside your trunk?

kenyan humour by dcomposed 4-10-07

Hey I have worked something out. What? Barack Obama is running for president, Barack Obama's father is from Kenya, and Kenyans are good at running. That means he's going to win. Or lose and get a job on a coffee farm.

- by dcomposed 12-30-06

Do you think it is alright that I had sex with a hooker in a cemetery? It is not a nice thing to do but I don't think it's too bad. It was John Lee Hooker.

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Batman created by Bob Kane

england

I get confused when people talk about 9/11. Where I come from 9/11 means November 9. Where I come from 9/11 means England is batting.

by dcomposed, 12-07-06

Online Dating by dcomposed 12-04-06

It's not what it looks like. I know you're cheating on me. I am not. ↑ ↑ ↓ ↓ ← → ← → B A.

pen humour by dcomposed 10-18-06

Do you have a pen? Mine has run out. Why did it run out? It just needed to get some things from the shop.

- by dcomposed 9-11-06

What is your favourite football team? The Stealers. Pittsburgh? No, Compton.

Why did the waveform go to the dentist? by dcomposed 9-02-06

Why did the waveform go to the dentist? It had a sawtooth.

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Batman created by Bob Kane

One day at the hospital by dcomposed 3-05-07

Can you help me? What's the problem? I've got a nail in me head. What do you think this is, a hardware store?

One day at the hospital by dcomposed 3-05-07

I really need some help. Yes I can see that. You're holding the hammer all wrong.

One day at the hospital by dcomposed 3-05-07

Can I see a doctor? I don't know, can you? Not really, I have kind of hammered a nail into my brain.

One day at the hospital by dcomposed 3-05-07

Can you please just give me some advice on what to do? Landscaping?

One day at the hospital by dcomposed 3-05-07

I'd like to see a doctor about what to do with this nail in my head. The doctor is busy. Well can you help me? I think so. So what should we do with this nail in my head? Hang a picture?

---
Batman created by Bob Kane

One day at the hospital by dcomposed 3-05-07

How'd you get that nail in your head? That's a funny story. Well what is the funny story? The one you just told me.

One day at the hospital by dcomposed 3-05-07

I've been here almost an hour and I haven't seen a doctor yet. This is the problem with American hospitals. We're in India. I know, and all our doctors are in American hospitals.

One day at the hospital by dcomposed 3-05-07

Finally I get to see a doctor, will you help me get this nail out of my head? Sure, turn it around and use the claw. Wow you are a great doctor. That will be $400. And what's the deal with airline food?

One day at the hospital by dcomposed 3-05-07

Boss, I can't work like this anymore. Ever since the accident I can't stand to be near a hammer and nails. That accident turned you soft son, you used to be a real man, someone I was proud to call a carpenter. Now you're nothing. Where will you go? You've got no other skills, all you've ever done is hammer nails. You're done. I never want to see your face again. Actually I was just going to ask for a protective hat.