In honor of the approaching New Year, I'm reposting my "Water Cooler Boys" comics, and there's little or nothing you or anyone else can do about it.

The Water Cooler Boys by biped 5-06-04

So...how's the new butt creme working out? Please...not so loud. I'd rather people didn't -- Butt creme!!! BUTT CREME!!! You BASTARD.

The Water Cooler Boys by biped 5-06-04

My new diet seems to be working. I think I'm finally starting to lose a few pounds. You didn't lose them...they're just hiding behind you. You're part of the reason I'm bulemic.

The Water Cooler Boys by biped 5-07-04

I've been drinking a lot more since my girlfriend left me. I saw her yesterday. She said she'd finally stopped drinking after she left you. What's that supposed to mean? Oh, nothing. It's just funny how things even out sometimes. Especially since you're such an incredible dickhead.

The Water Cooler Boys by biped 5-08-04

You know that new girl in the office? The really homely one who looks sort of like Lon Chaney? Oh, yeah. She's a real dog all right, heh-heh. What about her? I heard she's got the clap. Oh, FUCK ME.

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Legend, oh legend, the third wheel legend...always in the way.

The Water Cooler Boys by biped 5-11-04

I like the new water cooler. It's really neat. It should be. It came out of Hitler's ass. Hitler's ass? Yep. He just ate all the different parts, drank ten gallons of water, and shit a water cooler. And there it is.

The Water Cooler Boys by biped 5-07-04

Boy, I hate that guy. He's always making fun of me. Never a nice thing to say...always something derogatory or insulting. Don't have a cow, man!

The Water Cooler Boys by biped 12-04-04

Well, another typical day around the watercooler. Bill, have I ever told you that I was gay? Urp...er...no... I often think about you when I masturbate. Last night I imagined you bent over naked, teasing me with your sweet, gaping asshole. My orgasm was incredible.

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Legend, oh legend, the third wheel legend...always in the way.

biped

These two especially are a standard of excellence which any self-help book would proudly strive for.

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peddling the funny around since 09/24/2002

Thanks, I was hoping someone would pick up on that subtext.

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Legend, oh legend, the third wheel legend...always in the way.

its astonishing and a little bit scary how much the guy in the black shirt reminds me of myself.

its obvious to me now that Biped has me under surveillance.

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Kill Whitey.

That's silly.  I and a crack team of experienced former CIA specialists would never stake out your home and place of employment in order to keep you under intense 24-hour visual and video surveillance, and even if we did, it never happened.

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Legend, oh legend, the third wheel legend...always in the way.

Biped has a crack team.

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Kill Whitey.

....and a teeming crack. From meeting with teamsters.

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GOVT. Warning: Do not smoke around children they will badger you for fags.

Okay, these cracks are starting to give me a pain.  My feelings are very raw and easily-inflamed regarding such a sensitive area of my life.

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Legend, oh legend, the third wheel legend...always in the way.