Seriously, fuck The Happening.

 Your thoughts?

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"No obscene images." I guess I'll just have to settle for saying cocksucker a lot.

I've been jaded ever since the hydrophobic aliens from Signs. Fuck M. Night Shoobydooby. Fuck him in his stupid ass.

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100 pounds of shit in a 25 pound sack.

Oh, dear God. Hydrophobic aliens coming to a planet that is 70% water on the surface with toxic levels of humidity in the atmosphere.

But he's so spiritual... gag.

Hey, I've got a movie idea. Hydrophobic aliens start taking up residence on Mars. We're excited and curious, watching the 24/7 Mars channel. Then, BAM! They started bombing us!

So we bombard Mars with our siphoned-off greenhouse gases (thanks, Mr. Scientist!). The planet thaws, the Martians die horribly...

...and we get a brand-new planet to exploit! Happy ending!

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You can take the heart out of the hooker but you can't take the hooker out of the heart. -- Frankenhooker

I can't believe people are actually wasting money to go see it. I mean COME ON!!! IT'S A FUCKING MOVIE BY M. NIGHT SHAMYLAN! There's no way in hell it will be good, and the dry acting and slow moving story will all 'make sense' in the end where there's HUGE TWIST! OH MY GOD! M. NIGHT SHAMYLAN INTRODUCES TWISTS IN HIS ENDINGS! HE'S A GODAMN GENIUS!!!

But wait, oh, it's his first R-Rated film.

Nevermind! I'm gonna go see it tonight!

Dude, more like the Crappening.

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I was gonna send a robot back in time, but I got high.

the happening looked hilarious from the trailers

BigFrank105

lmao that was such a terrible ad campaign

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asssss

NO SPOILERS HERE... the movie does that for you

I figured out the "twist" less than 5 mins in. We're talking titles and everything here people. I thought I had been ripped of as far as "plot" (if that’s what you want to call this shite) goes, BUT THE CHARACTERS INT THE MOVIE FIGURE OUT THE TWIST ONLY 20 MINS LATER!!!

It was a horrible movie. Everything everyone said sounded forced and unnatural. WAY too much exposition. Every time they turned on the radio they heard JUST what they needed to hear then turned it off. Sometimes the TV was on and you are forced to watch Disney channel quality overacting.

The special effects are terrible. It looks like a C- graduate student did the blue screen work. The first dead body you see is well crafted though. Enjoy that quality while you can...

The acting is horrendous. Granted they didn't have a lot to work with but sometimes i feel like Mark W and Zooey D were making fun of the movie and acting this horribly on purpose. Like, they thought they wanted to be in a M Night movie and agreed before they got the script.

I also saw the boom mic 4 times. Once was 5-10 mins into the movie when Zooey is contemplating answering the phone. Its top left and obvious.

Now that you know all of this I recommend seeing this movie with friends. Make sure you descibe all of the bad things about this movie and go forth and make a night out of it. Have fun making fun of this awful movie. I guarantee if you do you'll enjoy it much more than I did.

The only saving grace is James Newton Howard's score, which is only about average for him.

i aint-a-gonna see this movie. what the hell is the premise anyway?

since i only watch TV at the club, and therefore without sound, all i see is people killing themselves in the preview.

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Kill Whitey.

AngryAmerican

 You've effectively nailed the entire plot. SERIOUSLY.

 My family is really into film. We usually see about one movie a week in theaters, mostly because there is virtually no other form of entertainment in Hesperia. This week I was forced to see The Happening. It sucked.

 Sincerely, the script was amaturish at best and the special effects/acting/everthing else was bad even by B movie standards.

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"No obscene images." I guess I'll just have to settle for saying cocksucker a lot.

Instead of going to see the Crappening (nice handle), I saw Mullholland Falls (what a uneven piece-o that was) and Pi: Life in Chaos (kinda fun and quirky). Then tonight, an unexpected bonus - A Face In The Crowd, Andy Griffith's first movie. Kazan directed, Patricia Neal co-starred as well as Walter Matthau. It became too preachy, and Griffith needed some more subtlety at times, but Neal was smoking and Matthau was crystal-clear. I'm really glad I saw it. Although I consider it a flawed film, it's brilliant and shattering at times. Sometime I couldn't believe I was watching a movie made in 1957.

And don't get me wrong about Griffith -- you'll be shocked to see what a fantastic actor he is. You'll never look at Mayberry the same way.

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You can take the heart out of the hooker but you can't take the hooker out of the heart. -- Frankenhooker

VITAJEX!!!!!!

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Legend, oh legend, the third wheel legend...always in the way.

boloboffin

Yes..I remember seeing this for the first time in the eighties and thinking what an sob he can be! Parts of the movie are hard to watch..but at times it just grabs you.

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Insert Theme to Mannix here

in an attempt to hijack this thread, has anyone else seen 'The Fall' by Tarsem (1st movie- The Cell)?

eye fucking candy. recommend.

in a related query, what about Day Watch and Night Watch?

i thought the above two really rocked, even if they were Russian.

comments?

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Kill Whitey.

You know that movie Sex in the City?

I thought it would have been way better if they had called it T. Rex in the City.

What a missed opportunity.

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I was gonna send a robot back in time, but I got high.

ZasterThey already did that. It's called Jurassic Park 2.

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It was such a waste of everyone’s time and money that even the Tokyo stadium’s rape robots apologized– something they were programmed specifically never to do.

you don't care about the bee's?

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The following statement its true. The previous statement is false

Can M. Night please just fall into a projector and have his face ripped off?  That would be a twist.

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Do you want ants? Because that's how you get ants.

The ad campaign should have gone out of the way to avoid mentioning the directors name. I expect that would have increased sales quite a bit.

As for the "twist", everything I've read says there is none and he specifically told reporters there is none. I guess that's one way to cover when people notice there's no plot either.

I'll probably read the summary of this one on "The Movie Spoiler".com and leave it at that.

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“Life is intrinsically... boring and dangerous at the same time. At any given moment the floor may open up. Of course it almost never does; that's what makes it so boring.”--Ogdred Weary

From what I've read, the secret twist is that at the end of the movie it's the audience that kills themselves.

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I was gonna send a robot back in time, but I got high.

I wish the trees could have killed the humans by extremely leafy rape... Or something along those lines. Something cool, ya know?

No, because then it would have been The Ruins, and it would have sucked even harder.

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You can take the heart out of the hooker but you can't take the hooker out of the heart. -- Frankenhooker

Are you saying it would have been Ruined?

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Batman created by Bob Kane

The Rapening.

BigFrank105

I never saw 8 Mile.

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the kid's getting old, the kid's getting old

LuckyGuess

I never saw 8 Mile.

I've seen The Rapening it was 8 inches at best.

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Batman created by Bob Kane