"UNNNGHH! UUUNNNGGHH!!" cried the cat right when he climaxed into his bowl of fish and chicken flavored Meow Mix, which confounded his owner who paid $300 to have the little bastard fixed!
In other news the famous cat singer Cat Cobain was found face down in his feed folowing a suspected mouse over-dose. Police are currently questioning Catney Love, as to her possible involvement.
Like many American children, Mr. Tubbles couldn't even finish a meal without passing out due to his obesity and lack of exercise. In other news, sales of laser pointers have gone up.
--- Do you want ants? Because that's how you get ants.