This should be easy, and well within the abilities of te perverts here.

Use slang terms from the 30's and 40's, like razzmatazz.  But use them sexually.  If you can't be arsed to look up old slang terms, use crazy regional lingo, like from Wales or Bumfuck Australia where people have more sheep than teeth.

That is all. 

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It was such a waste of everyone’s time and money that even the Tokyo stadium’s rape robots apologized– something they were programmed specifically never to do.

RCD43: Get Down On The Bee's Knees by ZMannZilla 11-08-10

...next, I gave that dizzy broad the ol' "Stool Pigeon"... that's when you use your tallywhacker upon her speak-easy, then wipe it upon her nose! What the... Who the devil are you? Where am I? After that, she got the ol' "23 Skidoo"! And I bet a well-traveled gentleman like you need not be told that a "23 Skidoo" is a 69 with three tongues! Oh crumbs, I died in the crash! Why didn't I listen when they told me The Spruce Goose would never fly?! You did a "Spruce Goose"? Ew. Wait... "Spruce Goose" is a thing too?

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"He was cursed with a horrorshow of a face, like Guiseppe Archbold doing a study of mollusk tumors."

RDC 43: Another Case of the Hotsquats by four_legged_tripod 11-10-10

So, tell me again how you contracted both Heebie Jeebies and Hotsy Totsy. Well, I told my buddy I had never seen breasts before and he said he knew of a great Hooterville on the lower west side. This girl there said she would show me the fuzz on her juicer but she was raggy, so instead she offered to let me boondoggle her stinkeroo. And why did you let her spifflicate in your mouth again? I told her earlier I really enjoyed scat.

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"Humiliation is humiliation only when you choose to suffer." ~ Chuck Palahniuk, Choke

Check Please

Razzle Dazzle me Mark Check please!

by Lord_Vodek, 11-19-10

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Resident Masochist & Adrenaline Junkie -I'm probably not god but you should worship me just in case-

I will judge this after Thanksgiving, meaning after I have woken from my gluttony and turkey induced coma.

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It was such a waste of everyone’s time and money that even the Tokyo stadium’s rape robots apologized– something they were programmed specifically never to do.

After careful consideration, I have to give the win to Lord Vodek.  The horrible perversions my imagination was coming up with while reading the others was horrendously hilarious, but LV's was like a humorous punch to the brain with it's simplicity.  Congratulations!

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It was such a waste of everyone’s time and money that even the Tokyo stadium’s rape robots apologized– something they were programmed specifically never to do.

Thanks :D Next contest up in a "jiffy"

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Resident Masochist & Adrenaline Junkie -I'm probably not god but you should worship me just in case-