Quaint That a Shame by biped 5-04-11

We're looking for a cottage that's...you know...quaint. Charmingly quaint. Lady, the place I've got in mind for you is so fucking quaint, you'll SHIT! Later... The travel agent lied, Ed! This cottage isn't quaint at all! Our dream vacation is RUINED! I'll give him a call. Maybe he can send someone out to slap some quaint on it or something. Mr. Bryce sent me in response to your call. So, you want me to do exactly what now? I don't know. Just whatever the hell it is you Vermont fuckers do to quaint shit up.

Quaint That a Shame 2 by biped 6-07-11

Oh, Ed! I found the most wonderfully quaint wallpaper today! It's just like that little cottage where we "week-ended" in Vermont! Okay Ed, here's where your acting abilities are put to the test. You must now pretend...to give a fuck... about some fucking wallpaper. Bring home the quaintness of a real Vermont bed-and-breakfast with QUAINT-O Wallpaper! Now available in FUSCHIA MOIRE! Remember, if it "taint" QUAINT-O... it "taint" QUALITY-O! ...and I love the little Victorian lifestyle vignettes. Hey, I know--we'll try it out in the kids' bathroom first. But I had my heart set on doing the whole...oh, all right. (pout)

Quaint That a Shame 3 by biped 6-07-11

What the fuck happened to our bathroom? There's vignettes of a bunch of old-timey fags all over the walls! It's "quaint"! Mommy and Daddy must be punishing us or something! Tired of having to endure someone else's horrendous taste in "quaint" wallpaper? Strike back with QUAINT-NO wallpaper defacing kits! Now with sexually suggestive paste-it parts! If it "taint" QUAINT-NO... it "taint" SHIT! (sigh) Oh, the rustic quaintness of the rural gentry...the belles, the beaus, the...OH, MY GOD! THEY ALL HAVE GIANT PENISES!!!

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Legend, oh legend, the third wheel legend...always in the way.

Every so often I'm tempted to look the other way and pretend to not hear Ed releasing years of pent-up rage.  Although the wallpaper sounded like it really needed a few huge dicks.

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It was such a waste of everyone’s time and money that even the Tokyo stadium’s rape robots apologized– something they were programmed specifically never to do.

If it weren't for "CSI: Miami", Ed would go berserk.

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Legend, oh legend, the third wheel legend...always in the way.