I think I've mentioned this countless times before but just for the record, I've been signed up with stripcreator since January 20, 2001... and technically I am not a "Newbie". I haven't done much posts, and I'm not really familiar with anyone of you. That's becasue I always hated formus and their mass ludicrous appeal, but I've discovered that there's three types of forum people.

1) as mentioned above: The weird and the ludicrous (the majority)
2) the shiny happy forum group people. (All in the forumusers character category and then some)
3) the ones who want in on "the shiny happy forum group people"

It's a sick twisted reality of forums and I'd salute you all but my hand is too busy giving my dog the finger.

At least we don't have moderators. Then you'd really see some sucking up.

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"You'll burn for this. Burn in jail!"

For once I'm in the majority!

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"Jelly-belly gigglin, dancin and a-wigglin, honey that's the way I am!" Janice the Muppet

Uh, Spanks, you may not recall, but you have a forum users character. That makes you a "shiny happy person", whatever the fuck that is.

Here are the major social groups of online forums of all kinds (web boards, newsgroups, chat groups, etc) as I see them:

1) The Village Elders - This small group consists of the people who have been on the forum forever, sometimes several years in the case of newsgroups. Most of them seem to be online at all times, and the volume of postings you see from them indicate that they live online and never sleep. One key thing about these people is that they tend to have such a host of running jokes that many of their conversations are utterly bewildering to those unfamiliar with them.

2) The Elder Populace - Before you evolve into a Village Elder, you fit in here. These are the people who have been around for quite a while, but are not quite furniture. They get most or all of the running jokes, but don't remember "that time when one of the elders said that thing" that got that running joke started.

3) The General Populace - These are not newbies, and are not elders. These are just the regular everyday people on most forums. They have been around long enough to get a lot of the running jokes, though they still find some of them pretty bewildering. This group is split into those who like the elders, and those who think the elders are a pack of wankers. The actual proportions of this split vary from group to group, but the ones who dislike the elders don't usually end up sticking around for very long.

4) The Youngsters - No, not an indication of age. These people are still thought of as being new, but they are not "newbies" either. Generally, these are the ones who have shown up, spent some time, and quite like a particular forum. They settle in, get comfortable, and slot into this group.

5) The Newcomers - Call them "newbies" if you like, everyone else does. They may post once and never come in again, or they may stick around and become part of the general populace... who knows?

6) The Intruders - Trolls, troublemakers, and general arseholes, nobody likes these people. Whether they are there to kill a few hours and have some nasty fun, or really want to settle in and "take control", as some delusional trolls want too do, or even piss people off with idiotic postings and comics without realising just what utter tools they are, these people all have one thing in common - they suck.

I was going to put in some sub-groups, but that about sums up the basics.

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That's cool. Now catogorize us all.

Oh, Nate, we need a special category for you.

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...Trot and Cap'n Bill were free from anxiety and care. Button-Bright never worried about anything. The Scarecrow, not being able to sleep, looked out of the window and tried to count the stars.

Okay, so I'm new. Please don't rip off my head and shit down my neck - not until you've read my comics.

I heard about this site and figured it would be fun. When I saw the forums and contests I actually did get interested. This looks like it could be a fun place to blow off some creative juice in a world with mounting tension and minimal on-the-job opportunities for creativity for most of us.

Yes I read the FAQ, but that's because I'm a tech writer and usability specialist by trade. I know the kind of work that goes into creating these useful tools and that they always go unused. I was just looking at the work for it's usability and info architecture. (Nice touch making the FAQ funny by the way.) Don't expect most people to read an FAQ before posting.

Might I suggest moving the FAQ link to the front of the list of links above? Maybe all caps? Maybe word it "FAQ you Dumbass Newbie!"

Guys, I like this one. Can we keep him?

To expensive. Let's eat 'im.

BTW i changed my sig, just so you people know what I mean when you get all huffy about my posts that are semi-serious.

He seems pretty sentient and he actually has some good comics. And he didn't start off by whining that there aren't enough characters, ect. Whataguy!

This one is my favorite:

[Click to view comic: 'Teach your children well']

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"You'll burn for this. Burn in jail!"

I realize that most people won't read the FAQ before posting (or at all), but that doesn't mean I don't still expect them to.

A major reason for writing an FAQ is because the Questions are so Frequently Asked that they get on our nerves. If people continue to ask them even after they've already been answered (and placed in an easily-found location), that gets on our nerves even more. More importantly, it suggests laziness, lack of forethought, and lack of concern on the part of the asker. These are not qualities most people value.

However, we Strip Creators do value a sense of humor, and nearly everyone values politeness, and newbies who demonstrate either or both often receive calm and helpful answers to dumb questions.

In general, though, if you can't be arsed to look for an FAQ before you post, don't expect that anyone else can be arsed to give you a polite response. And it doesn't hurt to keep in mind that no one but the hosting company is getting paid for this.

I'm also a tech writer, Bogart, and I've been a support technician in the past, and your point about the behavior patterns of J. Random User is well-taken. And I don't mean to criticize it, or you. Just pointing out that in this type of informal setting, the FAQ is as much for the newbies' benefit as for the regulars'.

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The what mentioned above is total fiction. Please don't take it seriously!

Okay, so I read your comics, liked'm, and added you to my favorites. Now can I rip off your head and shit down your neck?

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"And Wirthling isn't worth the paper he isn't printed on."

Okay, so I read your comics, liked'm, and added you to my favorites. Now can I rip off your head and shit down your neck?

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Funny that wirthling should be asking to rip people's heads off...

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"Jelly-belly gigglin, dancin and a-wigglin, honey that's the way I am!" Janice the Muppet

Okay, so I read your comics, liked'm, and added you to my favorites. Now can I rip off your head and shit down your neck?

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Funny that wirthling should be asking to rip people's heads off...

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With his mighty sphinchter...

[Click to view comic: 'Just askin']

Oh, this one's good.

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...Trot and Cap'n Bill were free from anxiety and care. Button-Bright never worried about anything. The Scarecrow, not being able to sleep, looked out of the window and tried to count the stars.

Bogart, you are ironclad proof that bashing newbies just because they are newbies is a bad idea.

Fantastic strips. Please stick around. :)

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Im fucking impressed.

*adds to favourites*

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"Life Sucks, Then you Die. The bit inbetween isnt very funny either"

Phlnk vlu vmphy phfsh!

*Spit* *hack*

I mean, thank you very much.

(That sure was a lot easier to say without a mouth full of old-timer cock.)

Uhm... was that last part out loud?

Pop it back in, boyo - I didn't shoot my load yet.

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