Feel free to pile on.

Three Vapid Bimbos Walk Into a Commercial by kaufman 10-07-14

THEY JUST OPENED A CELL PHONE STORE DOWN THE STREET. OOOOOOOOOH! EEEEEEEEEEE! AND I BOUGHT ... A PHONE! WHEEEEEEEE! OMIGOD OMIGOD OMIGOD!

Feminism Sprints Backwerd by kaufman 10-07-14

I CAN NOW CALL OTHER PEOPLE WHO HAVE PHONES. Is that what you can do with them? Maybe we should get some. Then she could call us.

If a Cell Phone Excites Them ... by kaufman 10-07-14

I WENT TO THE DOLLAR STORE YESTERDAY AND BOUGHT A PENCIL EEEEEEEEE! IT'S VERY SHARP AND HAS AN ERASER ON THE END! EEEEEEEEEEE! As the water cooler begins cracking ... AND NOW I DON'T HAVE TO USE MY FINGER TO PICK BOOGERS OUT OF MY NOSE! EEEEEEEEEEEEEE!

The Rich Aren't That Different. by kaufman 10-07-14

They just opened a new Wal-Mart in town. EEEEEEEEEEE! It will run all the local shops out of business. OOOOOOOOOH! And so underpay its workers that they will have to suck millions from the government in food stamps, etc. WHEEEEEEEEEEE!

There's a Pap for That by kaufman 10-07-14

I JUST BOUGHT A NEW iPHONE. EEEEEEEEEEE! AND I THINK I HAVE A BAD YEAST INFECTION, SO I DOUCHED WITH DRANO. OOOOOOOOHHHHH! You're not even listening to me, are you? YES! YES! YES! HOLEEE SHIT!

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ken.kaufman@gmail.com

I AGREE 1000%!