I'm re-introducing Nurse Bigguns to a new generation.

For the rest of her adventures go here.

 

Monster Butt 1 by biped 10-20-05

ME WANT TO SEE "MONSTER BUTT"!!! MOMMY!!! All right, dear. Come along. OH, GOODY!!! LA-LA-LA!!! LA-LA!!! I hope the theater isn't too crowded. Shh... a little quieter, dear... YAAAAY!!! IT'S MONSTER BUTT!!! HE AM -- HEY!!! ME PEED IN ME'S POPCORN!!! WAAA-HAAA-HAAAAAAA!!!

Monster Butt 2 by biped 10-20-05

GUESS WHAT!!! ME GOT TO SEE "MONSTER BUTT" TODAY!!! "Monster Butt"? That piece of shit? It fucken SUCKS! *gurgle* H-help... me... ME HAD TO BREAK YOUR RIBS AND SPINE!!! I'm sorry...you have to buy the "Monster Meal" to get the "Monster Butt" action figures... ME HAVE SEX WITH YOU FOR THEM!!!

Monster Butt 3 by biped 10-20-05

MOMMY!!! ME KILL A HUNDRED PEOPLE TODAY BECAUSE THEY NOT LIKE MONSTER BUTT!!! Oh, dear...we may have to move again... ...AND BLESS MOMMY, AND BLESS WOOFY, AND BLESS FISHY-WISHY, AND BLESS MONSTER BUTT!!! AND THANK YOU FOR MAKING HIM!!! AAAAAY-MEYUN!!! Come on, li'l Nurse Bigguns, and we'll go visit Monster Butt. OH, BOY!!! A MONSTER BUTT DREAM!!! YAAAAAAAY!!!

Monster Butt 4 by biped 10-20-05

Why? Why did you kill everyone in the old folks' home? What possible reason -- BECAUSE THEY NOT LIKE MONSTER BUTT!!! ME KILL YOU TOO IF YOU DON'T!!! "HI, MOMMY!!! ME WIN CONTEST AND GET TO GO TO HOLLYWOOD TO MEET MONSTER BUTT!!! ME HAVE HAD SEX A HUNDRED TIMES!!!" Oh, dear...I take my eyes off of her for one minute... LOOK, MOMMY!!! ME HAVE MONSTER BUTT'S BABY!!! HE AM MY NEW LITTLE BROTHER!!!

Monster Butt 5 by biped 10-20-05

ME HAVE SEX WITH MONSTER BUTT A HUNDRED TIMES AND HAVE MONSTER BUTT, JR.!!! IT AM GOOD!!! YOU SHUT UP!!! Let's just...m-move along... Well, nice to have you back, Nurse Bigguns. Did you have an eventful -- NO!!! MOMMY!!! ME HATE MONSTER BUTT NOW!!! SO ME COOKED MONSTER BUTT, JR. FOR DINNER!!! ME SAVE YOU THE LIVER!!! OH, MY GOD!!!

 

---
Legend, oh legend, the third wheel legend...always in the way.

Nurse Bigguns Meets Abe Vigoda 1 by biped 10-21-05

Well, I hope you all enjoyed my one-man -- ME LOVE YOU, ABE VIGODA!!! Please stop following me... WHO AM YOUR ENEMIES!!! ME KILL THEM!!! Look, I have to go real bad... ME HELP YOU!!! ME AM A REGISTERED NURSE!!!

Nurse Bigguns Meets Abe Vigoda 2 by biped 10-21-05

"And now back to...FISH" YAAAAAY!!! ME HAVEN'T SEEN THIS EPISODE!!! You...you're still here? ME PLAY HOUSE WITH YOU!!! ME BE MOMMY FISH AND YOU BE DADDY FISH!!! Welcome to my one-man show. I'm Abe Vigoda -- -- AND ME AM NURSE BIGGUNS!!! IF YOU NOT LIKE THIS SHOW, ME KILL YOU!!!

Nurse Bigguns Meets Abe Vigoda 3 by biped 10-21-05

And...and now we'll watch some filmed highlights from my various television -- YOU SHUT UP WHILE MOVIE AM ON!!! SHUT UP!!! OR ME KILL!!! (psst) Let's go, dear...this is getting a little bor -- YAAAAAAAAAA!!! ME HAVE TO KILL YOU NOW!!! KILL!!! KILL!!! KILL!!! HEY!!! YOU NO RUN AWAY FROM ABE VIGODA SHOW!!! ME KILL EVERYBODY WHO RUN!!! GRRRRRRRR!!!

Nurse Bigguns Meets Abe Vigoda 4 by biped 10-21-05

Horrific violence marred what should've been a gala occasion, as Abe Vigoda's one-man show erupted into a bloody bloodbath of blood. HI, MOMMY!!! ME AM ON TV!!! I...I can't STAND this anymore! Get away from me! Get away...and STAY AWAY! HEY!!! YOU AM NOT NICE, ABE VIGODA!!! ME HATE YOU NOW!!! GRRRRRRRRR!!! LOOK, MOMMY!!! ME SKIN ABE VIGODA ALIVE AND MAKE COSTUME FOR HALLOWEEN!!! WHAT AM FOR DINNER!!! (gag)...chicken spaghetti...

---
Legend, oh legend, the third wheel legend...always in the way.

Nurse Bigguns' New Job 1 by biped 1-14-08

GUESS WHAT, MOMMY!!! NOW ME AM A UNIVERSAL STUDIOS TOUR GUIDE IN ME'S SPARE TIME !!! YAAAAY!!! Err...that's nice, dear... THIS AM SET WHERE THEM MAKES FUNNY DAFFY DUCK MOVIES!!! AND SHOWS ABOUT SPACE MANS!!! Actually, this was the main setting for "Teahouse of the August Moon", and you obviously don't know what the hell you're-- ME HAD TO SLAUGHTER A HUNDRED PEOPLE LIKE HOGS TODAY, MOMMY!!! THEM CONTRADICTED ME ALL DAY, GRRRRRRRR!!! (sigh) Oh, well... that's a bit lower than your usual death toll...

Nurse Bigguns' New Job 2 by biped 1-14-08

LOOK EVERYBODY THIS AM WHERE THEM MAKES THREE STOOGES MOVIES!!! THEY AM FUNNY HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!!! Oh my GOD, Universal didn't even MAKE the "Three Stooges" shorts! That was COLUMBIA, you IDIOT! ME HAD TO BREAK YOUR RIBS AND SPINE AS A WARNING TO OTHERS!!! NOW EVERYBODY ELSE SHUT UP!!! OR ME KILL!!! (groan) K-Kill me...please... CONGRATULATIONS YOU AM FIRST SURVIVOR OF ME'S TOUR!!! BECAUSE YOU AM KEEP YOU'S STUPID MOUTH SHUT!!! gurgle...

Nurse Bigguns' New Job 3 by biped 1-14-08

I'm sorry, Miss Bigguns...you're just not working out. I'm afraid I'm going to have to let you go-- YOU AM A BAD MAN!!! ME AFRAID ME AM GOING TO HAVE TO SKIN YOU ALIVE!!! GRRRRRRR!!! Edward, the children are waiting in the limo. Are we going straight to Spago's from here, or-- HA HA HA ME FOOL YOU, MRS. BAD MAN!!! ME MADE A FUNNY COSTUME OUT OF YOUR HUSBAND'S SKIN AND NOW ME AM YOUR HUSBAND!!! GUESS WHAT MOMMY!!! ME AM PRESIDENT OF UNIVERSAL STUDIOS NOW!!! AND WE AM HAVING DINNER AT SPAGO'S TONIGHT!!! (gulp) I'll g-get my wrap...

---
Legend, oh legend, the third wheel legend...always in the way.

Nurse Bigguns' Magical Rampage 1 by biped 11-02-05

BOBBY CASH-COW ULTRA SUPER CRAB!!! MOMMY!!! Slow down, dear -- that just went way over my head. UHH -- ME HUNGRY!!! Oh. Well, I thought we'd go to a nice restaurant for dinner tonight. LOOK, MOMMY!!! ME MADE US BE HERE ALREADY!!! BY MAGIC!!! You...you can do magic now, dear? That's...nice... (shudder)

Nurse Bigguns' Magical Rampage 2 by biped 11-02-05

GRRRRRRRRRR!!! ME WANTED ULTRA SUPER CRAB, STUPID WAITER!!! THIS AM REGULAR CRAB!!! ME USE MAGIC TO COOK YOU!!! But I -- YAAAAAAAAAA!!! ME KILL BAD WAITER WHILE YOU GO POTTY, MOMMY!!! HIM WILL NEVER BRING ANYBODY STUPID WRONG CRAB AGAIN!!! Oh, my...where... where did you get these magic powers, sweetie? FROM BOBBY CASH-COW INFOMERCIAL ON TV, MOMMY!!! ME USE FUNNY PLASTIC CRACKER TO ORDER ENTIRE SERIES OF DVDS!!! "Funny plastic cracker"? My...my credit card?

Nurse Bigguns' Magical Rampage 3 by biped 11-02-05

HI, BOBBY CASH-COW!!! ME AM NURSE BIGGUNS!!! ME USE MAGIC THAT ME LEARNED FROM YOUR DVDS TO COME VISIT YOU!!! Magic? But...it's a real-estate training course... LOOK!!! ME MAKE US BE WAY UP HIGH IN THE SKY!!! IT AM PRETTY UP HERE!!! HUH, BOBBY CASH-COW!!! YAAAAAAAAA!!! BOBBY CASH-COW AM DEAD, MOMMY!!! HIM COULDN'T FLY AND CRASHED INTO A POTTY FACTORY!!! CAN ME HAVE A PUPPY!!! We'll...we'll see, dear...

Nurse Bigguns' Magical Rampage 4 by biped 11-02-05

WHEEEE!!! ME TURN PUPPY INTO GIANT ROBOT MONSTER!!! Woof, w -- RAAAAAAAR!!! KILL EVERYBODY, ROBOT MONSTER!!! JUST LIKE IN THE FUNNY MONSTER MOVIES THAT ME LIKES TO WATCH!!! YAAAAAAAY!!! KILL!!! KILL!!! RAAAAAAAR!!! ME FORGOT HOW TO DO MAGIC!!! WILL YOU MAKE US BE AT THE ULTRA SUPER CRAB PLACE AGAIN PLEASE!!! MOMMY!!! Well...I'm afraid we'll have to go to a different one this time, dear...

Nurse Bigguns' Magical Rampage 5 by biped 11-02-05

THIS AM WORST CRAB ME EVER ATE!!! BRING ME ULTRA SUPER CRAB OR ME KILL YOU WITH ME'S BARE HANDS!!! But...this is just a humble "Mom and Pop" diner...we... we don't have -- ME HAD TO KILL EVERYBODY IN STUPID MOM AND POP DINER, MOMMY!!! THEM HAD BAD YUCKY CRABS!!! I...I know, dear... let's just try to put it behind us... NO NO, BAD DOGGY!!! YOU CAN'T SLEEP IN PEOPLE BED WITH ME!!! YOU HAVE TO SLEEP IN DOGGY BED WITH WOOFY!!! RAAAAAAAR!!!

---
Legend, oh legend, the third wheel legend...always in the way.