CC91: Prologue by fpd 1-07-02

Hey Beelzebub, it really pisses me off that so many strips at this site are about donkey sodomy and cornholing. Whatzzzz wrong that that, Azzazzzelll? It's not like I have anything against sex. After all, sex with mortal women is why I became a fallen angel. What izzz it, thennn? It's just that the other sins are underrepresented here. Yeszz, I szee what you meannn. More szinszz meanszz more szoulszz.

CC91: Six Deadly Sins by fpd 1-07-02

Anger . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Pride It really gets my goat that the writers don't pay more attention to anger. Damn them! Damn them all to Hell! There is nothing finer to write about than pride. Perhaps the writers here just need to feel more pride in themselves. Envy . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Greed Why does lust get all the attention? Can't people get off the lust bandwagon and pay some attention to envy? I really can't get enough strips about greed. Please make more and more. Gluttony . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Sloth Oh, I would just love to devour one strip on gluttony after another. Keep 'em coming. Mmmm. Keep em' mmm coming! Zzzzzzzzz.

Azazel gave the rationale for this contest. Here are the rules:

1. Write a strip about any of the seven deadly sins except lust.

2. Do not mention lust in any way. This includes mentioning any sexual activity, using profanity of a sexual nature, and suggesting sexual activity without mentioning it. (Having a user name of Fuck does not count as a violation of this rule.)

3. Use only stripcreator comics.

I will judge the contest sometime Friday evening, EST.

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FPD is the foremost plague on discussion boards. Do your part to stomp out FPD.

Reminds me of the bit from Blazing Saddles...

Hedley Lamarr: Qualifications?
Applicant: Rape, murder, arson, and rape.
Hedley Lamarr: You said rape twice.
Applicant: I like rape.

I'll try...

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"Jelly-belly gigglin, dancin and a-wigglin, honey that's the way I am!" Janice the Muppet

CC91: Sloth by KajunFirefly 1-07-02

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Dad was flammable

Anger by Spankling 1-07-02

You're nothing but a beer cooler! YOU DARE MOCK TOBOR?!? TAKE IT OFF LINE TINMAN! I'M JUST GETTING STARTED! EEP! CROSS ME AGAIN AND I'LL MAKE LICENSE PLATES OUT OF YOUR SHELL AND USE THE REST OF YOU FOR AN iMAC! tobor be good. can tobor go now?

Pride by Spankling 1-07-02

What's up with him. He thinks he's too good for that shit.

Envy by Spankling 1-07-02

Bitch!

But now I'm getting slothful and unfunny. Maybe I can try again tomorrow.

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"Jelly-belly gigglin, dancin and a-wigglin, honey that's the way I am!" Janice the Muppet

CC91: The Socks Deadly Sins by TheElPaso 1-07-02

Today, I will not give out socks, even though people have paid me and expect me to do so. I wish my socks were as good as hers. I will be too busy eating doughnuts to sell socks today. DAMN YOU, WHY DO YOU KEEP SELLING MORE SOCKS THAN ME, YOU BITCH! You've gotta have pride in your sock-selling abilites. Yeah, and selling them at five million a pair probably also makes it harder.

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My love for you is like diarrhea, I just can't hold it in. -Weird Al Yankovic

Envy with a splash of anger by kaufman 1-08-02

So I see this contest and instantly have this idea - run off the Asian girls and call it "Sloth". But what do you know, it's already been posted! Damn Brits wake up five hours earlier the sun rises first there they get to drive on the left spell things with a u and dance around the original stonehenge IT'S NO FAIR!

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ken.kaufman@gmail.com

More Sloth: Stealing the Ideas of Others by BigEvilDan 1-08-02

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"Oh, look, a joke! How original! Thank you, but if I wanted my emotions stimulated pleasurably, I'd get a whore." - Donald B. Jones III

CC 91: Envy! by Drexle 1-08-02

My pitiful submission:

It's a sin by Tom_O_Bedlam 1-08-02

My wife cheated on me with the sherrif, so I shot the both of them! Bah! That's Wrath! Next! Once every year, I travel round the world, and stuff myself with all the mince pies and cookies I can find. Can't you do better than Gluttony?Next! Dammnit, boss, why do I never get to hear any Original Sin any more? DAMN SLOTHFUL HUMANS.

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No names have been changed to protect the innocent, since God Almighty protects the innocent as a matter of Heavenly routine.

You Gluttonous Old Goat by Jabizo 1-08-02

That's funny. I coulda sworn I left my rotor turbines right here. Sorry, Gramps. I'm afraid I ate them. It seems I'm always hungry and I will eat anything near me. Dagnabit! This has gotta stop! I'll lock up everything in the shed so you can't get at it. Now you'll just have to wait til I feed ya. Why thank you, you do look mighty appetizing. Why?! Why must everything taste like chicken?

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Vulgarity is simply the conduct of others. -Oscar Wilde

Attention: The word "lutefisk" has now appeared in a comic.

CC 91: Sin City by kaufman 1-08-02

International Falls used to be the meteorological laughingstock of the world, but no longer! Today we celebrate 500 consecutive days of summertime weather! Please be quiet, Mr. Mayor! Why should I? Look at my tan! Our lutefisk harvest has shattered records. We are proud to announce a new ad campaign: Best weather in the free world! But sir, surely you know the saying, pride goeth before the fall? And here in Minnesota, fall is short, and inevitably precedes a nasty winter!

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ken.kaufman@gmail.com

Hm. I just realised that my mention of the cowboy's wife cheating on him might be counted as 'Lust' by a picky judge. So, I present...

Cowboy Sinners by Tom_O_Bedlam 1-08-02

Pride So I said, "My rotor turbines sure generate the finest damn gravitons in the West!" Ha ha! Envy Bastard. I wish my rotor turbines were that good... Wrath What the Hell is he talking about? I HATE YOU! BASTARD DIE DIE! AAARRGGH!

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No names have been changed to protect the innocent, since God Almighty protects the innocent as a matter of Heavenly routine.

CC 91: Anger by Bazilla 1-08-02

RAAAAAAAAR! TOBOR IS SO ANGRY AND DON'T KNOW HOW TO EXPRESS IT! I think I can help. TOBOR WONDERS HOW!? There's a nickel in my shoe! Can I have it? NO!

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I am not 16 going on not 17, I know that I'm naive.

CC 91: Sloth by Bazilla 1-08-02

DO SOMETHING ELSE!? BUT HOW CAN I? I CAN'T BE BOTHERED TO DO ANYTHING ELSE! CAN'T I JUST DO WHAT I NORMALLY DO? No! I CAN'T BE BOTHERED! YOU DO SOMETHING ELSE! No!

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I am not 16 going on not 17, I know that I'm naive.

Gluttony by kaufman 1-08-02

BRRRAAAAAP!

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ken.kaufman@gmail.com

[ Posted comic does not exist ]
Gluttony was stupid. But that's hard.

kudos to the origional guy that made the "pooped on himself" comic.

But what about........ by wenisinfurs 1-08-02

Avarice.... Really, I've a Lexus!

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Is it wrong? I don't think so...

Avarice is another name for Greed. Anger is also known as wrath, sloth as laziness, pride as vainglory.

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FPD is the foremost plague on discussion boards. Do your part to stomp out FPD.

CC91: No Title Necessary by KajunFirefly 1-08-02

-----------------------GREED------------------------ ALL YOUR BASE ARE BELONG TO US! aww, come on man, can't we share? -----------------------PRIDE------------------------ I thought you said "GIANT" metal phallus! -----------------------ANGER------------------------ I can't believe I got jailed for being my own mother's pimp, I was only looking out for the family, I'm gonna kill those bastards!! hey, you're lucky that "lust" is banned from this competition Andy! *wink*

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Dad was flammable

CC Ni9ety-o1e - Part O1e by andydougan 1-08-02

Here, fatso, have another waffle. No thanks, I really couldn't. I'm bursting. EAT! I suppose I may as well. At least the wheat flour contains a lot of protein. They're rich in gluten, eh?

CC Ni9ety-o1e - Part 2wo by andydougan 1-08-02

Cut a pound of flesh from your body, please. All right. I'll scoop it out of my chest. Heh heh! Send my greedings to Satan!

CC Ni9ety-o1e - Part Thr3e by andydougan 1-08-02

I've been chained to the foot of this bed for some small while now. I'm getting a bit bored. Okay. How about a game of Cluedo, then? Righto. I suggest it was Professor Plum in the conservatory with the spanner. Wow! Right first time! Not bad, Sherlock! Yeah, you could say I'm a super-sloth.

CC Ni9ety-o1e - Part 4our by andydougan 1-08-02

You have a choice. You can either phone for help and be mutilated, or pry the top of your head off with a knife. Bit of a no-win situation, this. Oh well. I guess I'll plump for the latter option. Nicely pryed!

CC Ni9ety-o1e - Part 5ive by andydougan 1-08-02

I wonder what's in this here box. It theems that envy ith my thin...hmm. I appear to have developed a lithp. Argh! Grr! Why, you little varmint! BANG! Wait! Don't do anything rath!

Bar none by boorite 1-08-02

A Harvard study released today touts the health benefits of drinking alcohol... Fu-uh-uhhhckin' aye RIGHT, buddy. I got any damn healthier, ya'd have to throw a bucket o' cold water * hic * on me. Aaaaugh, ah've boaked on me trainers.

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What others say about boorite!

CC 91: Sloth (and the One Deadly Sinner) by BigEvilDan 1-08-02

RAAR!! WORSHIP ME OR I WILL KILL YOU AND STEAL YOUR THINGS, JUST LIKE I DID TO MY PARENTS AND NEIGHBOUR!! Uh... THEN I'LL LIE TO THE POLICE ABOUT IT, BUT RETURN ON SUNDAY TO BURN DOWN YOUR--what is it? Those are the ten commandments, not the deadly sins. Have you even read the bible? My...uh..dog ate it. Sure. You just can't handle anything without large pictures, can you?

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"Oh, look, a joke! How original! Thank you, but if I wanted my emotions stimulated pleasurably, I'd get a whore." - Donald B. Jones III

Who said anything about ANOTHeR NAME?
AVARICE is the deadly sin. As is SLOTH and PRIDE.
But you'll still be an ASS even if your also
being a KNOW-IT-ALL.

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Is it wrong? I don't think so...

You have issues.

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No names have been changed to protect the innocent, since God Almighty protects the innocent as a matter of Heavenly routine.