Javier and Mikes plan for World Domination by Kevin_Keegans_Perm 2-02-02

Mike , ive fucking had it with my fucking job , my lack of fucking cash and the fact all the women are fucking other men. Word Javier brother. Its time we used your skills and my knowhow to make ourselves rich , and fuck with the world. Now youre talking. What do we do , rob a bank , hit an armored car , what? Thats strictly small time Jav , its time we fucked with the world on a global basis. Does it involve me in some way fucking up the life of the cunt potter? Damn straigh man. Were going to fuck up THE_SUPERBOWL!

Javier and Mikes plan for World Domination 2 by Kevin_Keegans_Perm 2-02-02

Alright. Fuck it. Lets do it. Where do we start. Ive already begun. Ive used your wages to place bets on the Philadelphia Eagles winning the superbowl. The Eagles arent IN the fucking superbowl. How will we win the bet , unless .... Thats right Javi , make those magic fingers work. You know you can. Meantime , in the NFL Commissioners office. 23 Members of the St Louis Rams of Doping Offence. Oh Fuck!

Javier and Mikes plan for World Domination 3 by Kevin_Keegans_Perm 2-02-02

And in Sports news. 23 members of the St Louis rams were today found guilty of doping offences. The NFL has replaced the Rams in the superbowl with the Philadelphia Eagles. Rocking! Didnt i tell you i could do it. Aint i the fucking man. Yeh. And that bitch who bought the Big Mac yesterday. You know she wanted me. She was thinking "This guy has the biggest pickle EVER! You da Man Javier. Now , i shall put part two of my plan into operation. This ones for you. man. And i know youll "Run with the ball" here. Meantime , in the Potter household. OH MY GOD!. Harry , come quickly. Ive been invited to sing the national anthem at the Superbowl. And im floating again , so quit it with the fucking levitation spells , or youre on the sofa.

Javier and Mikes plan for World Domination 4 by Kevin_Keegans_Perm 2-02-02

Fucking Fuck Fuck Fuckity Fuck. Thats a stroke of Genius. That specky cunt Potter will never suspect. Precisely. Now , lets settle down and watch the match. Then collect our winnings , which i calculate will be around $2.2 billion dollars. I earn $800 a month , and had enough left in the bank for Beer money. How the fuck do you think were gonna make $2.2 billion. I called the bank , pretended to be you , and got a $5000 overdraft.  Oh  And i sold your car.

Javier and Mikes plan for World Domination 5 by Kevin_Keegans_Perm 2-02-02

The Day of the Superbowl. We love you long time , sucky sucky. Yo Mike , your hooker is here. Hurry up man , the game is about to kick off. Yeh baby. Now for some old Javier magic. And its 7-7 here in the first quarter and OH MY GOD the Eagles quarterback has thrown a 92 yard touchdown pass TO HIMSELF. Heh heh. Whos your fucking daddy! Its now 48-7 at halftime to the Eagles folks. I never thought id EVER see a touchdown pass caught by a crack baby. Wow.

[Click to view comic: 'Javier and Mikes plan for World Domination 6']
[Click to view comic: 'Javier and Mikes plan for World Domination 7']
[Click to view comic: 'Javier and Mikes plan for World Domination 8']
[Click to view comic: 'Javier and Mikes plan for World Domination 9']

Im pretty much out of ideas as to how Potter gets his revenge , so ill update this as and when i think of something.

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"Life Sucks, Then you Die. The bit inbetween isnt very funny either"

So far the highlight is

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I am not 16 going on not 17, I know that I'm naive.

Harry Potter with a Vengeance - Part 1 by kramer_vs_kramer 2-03-02

This is all your fucking fault. Now that cunt Potter's after me. I ought to take you back to that fucking karaoke bar and leave you for the fat housewives to drool over. My fault? You're the one who murderised his wife. All I wanted was to make some cash to spend on smokes, strippers and booze. -ahem- Are you trying to square up to me?

Harry Potter with a Vengeance - Part 2 by kramer_vs_kramer 2-03-02

Okay Javier, I know it was you who killed my wife. Now prepare to die! Calm fucking down, Potter, won't all this violence affect your sponsorship deals? No, I made sure when I signed the contracts that I'd be allowed to inflict horrific death on people, and still have full rights. But what about the kids? You're supposed to be a role model! The kids love violence. In fact, I was thinking of doing some shows with the WWF. Now prepare to die, because Harry Potter says so! Before we start, promise me you won't hit my face.

Harry Potter with a Vengance - Part 3 by kramer_vs_kramer 2-03-02

Right, first I think I'll make your arms magically detach and insert themselves up your arse... Hold on, hold on. Can I first say that the whole wife death thing wasn't me? It was this bastard microphone over here. You expect me to believe that this microphone talks and killed my wife? I've heard some lame excuses from you in my time, Javier, but... I swear it talks! He's just pretending to be a normal microphone. Really it's an evil genius!

Harry Potter with a Vengeance- Part 4 by kramer_vs_kramer 2-03-02

Right, now I'm going to remove your knob and replace it with your head. Hold on a fucking minute! Isnt that Jesus over there? Really? Ah! He got away! Get that bastard for me. I'm not really Jesus, he just thought nailing me to a tree would be 'really fucking funny'.

Harry Potter with a Vengeance - Part 5 by kramer_vs_kramer 2-03-02

I need to think of something. Potter's gone fucking mental! Not so fast! Dr Who! That's right, Javier. I've just come from the future. Harry Potter totally kicks your arse. It's not a pretty sight. So you've come back to save me? No. I just wanted to see how he gets you to eat your own leg like that.

[Click to view comic: 'Harry Potter with a Vengeance - Part 6']
[Click to view comic: 'Harry Potter With a Vengeance - Part 7']
[Click to view comic: 'Harry Potter with a Vengeance - Part 8']

[u]WE WUZ ROBBED! I TRIED TO VOTE FOR DARIUS BUT IT WAS ALL A FIX THEY WEREN'T LETTING SCOTS VOTE IT'S THE OUTRAGE OF THE CENTURY HEADS SHOULD ROLL THE RECORD SHOULD CAMPAIGN TO HAVE SIMON COWELL OUTLAWED WHINE WHINE MOAN MOAN!!!!!!!!!![/u]

Darius Strikes Back - Part 1 by KajunFirefly 2-03-02

damn that bastard Javier, I'll get him back, somehow, someway, I'll be big, THIS IS NOT THE END!! NOB GOBBLER! listen Harry, I really want to get some revenge on that bastard Javier for ruining my credibility! *sigh* This isn't "Rent-a-Wizard" you know, I don't just go around granting wishes for no reason! I can't really be arsed messing with Javier anymore. uh....he called you a homosexual! since he killed my wife, I've been getting more hot ass than I can handle, but, I'll get one of my associates to help you, if you'll just go away!

Darius Strikes Back - Part 2 by KajunFirefly 2-03-02

right, here goes, "BY THE FIERCE WINDS OF ABERDEEN AND THE FREEZING RAIN OF KIRCALDY, I SUMMON YOU, GREAT GALDER!! you'll be "The_Great_Galder" then? mmrrrrrrmmm

Darius Strikes Back - Part 3 by KajunFirefly 2-03-02

right, Galder, I want you to do lots of evil things to this punk wizard, he ruined my credibility, now even Frank Skinner is making fun of me. I'll help you, but first, do you think you could do that "thing" you do, you know, the thing on the website? right, there you go! HOLY SHIT!!! happy now? I guess so, right, let's get this bastard!

Darius Strikes Back - Part 4 by KajunFirefly 2-03-02

right, you'll find him at this address, just fuck him up good and proper! am I getting paid for this? at Javier's: hey Mike, I was thinking, do you think the world would miss Wales? I doubt it, we could probably sink it without raising any eyebrows! BOW DOWN MORTALS, I, THE GREAT GALDER AM HERE TO......Javier? is that you? Galder! Holy Shit, I haven't seen you in ages, hey, you owe me 10 quid!

Darius Strikes Back - Part 5 by KajunFirefly 2-03-02

I've been sent here be some faggot called "Darius", he claims you ruined his credibility. Ha, THAT punk? I only put his party trick on a website, it wasn't me who told him to enter "Pop Stars". well, either way, he wants you dead! well, well, well. I'm sure we can soon teach that fucking hippie a lesson! He's auditioning for "Pop Moron" tonight, it'll be hosted by those guys off of Grange Hill! hmm, I have a cunning plan...

[Click to view comic: 'Darius Strikes Back - Part 6']
[Click to view comic: 'Darius Strikes Back - Part 7']

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Dad was flammable

Go on Andy, finish it off. You know you want to. Then this will be the definitive Glasgow thread.

Either that or Kaufman finishes it, bringing the K's together.

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Dad was flammable

Actually, thinking about it, I'm pretty sure there's a little bit of Andy already in these comics.

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Dad was flammable

This thread is CRYING OUT for some Dougan comics.

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"Life Sucks, Then you Die. The bit inbetween isnt very funny either"

I'm sorry, but this is a BLATANT rip-off of my comic series beginning with "Aussy Invasion" and ending with "The End of the War: Captain Powerful Saves the Daaaaaaaay!"

Dates. Comics. Check. Check comics. Check dates. Comic dates. Check check date checky checkity check the dates on the comics, dawg. Check.

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"And Wirthling isn't worth the paper he isn't printed on."

"Mike the Microphone - Hes a Cunt" - a KKP Production copyright 2001

"Javier the Angry Wizard" - a Kramer_vs_Kramer production , copyright 2001.

The fusion of these two giants of the comic world , in a unique script which was in no way plegeurised from comics we havent even read , is copyright to the individual artists , and to Dexx , who pretty much did all the artwork.

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"Life Sucks, Then you Die. The bit inbetween isnt very funny either"

Well... half of it. :)

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This signature has performed an illegal operation and has been shut down.

I just ripped off every other fucker.

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Dad was flammable

Considering we all just rip each others ideas off now , how exactly do new ideas get onto these forums?

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"Life Sucks, Then you Die. The bit inbetween isnt very funny either"

Osmosis.

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This signature has performed an illegal operation and has been shut down.

His comic may have been made before mine, but I posted mine first! See? Is that not all the evidence needed? That's what I say, but they don't believe me!

Sadly Mr Dawg, you are once again, completely wrong.

If you'll notice, this thread was started in 02/02/02 whereas you're post didn't appear for another 3 and half months.

ass.

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Dad was flammable

Dammit!

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Dad was flammable

No! Not sadly, not ass, and not whereass! Blatant ripoff of my comic! Mine!

And no, I did not misspell "whereas" by accident.

trying to fit in?

failing

fucking kids. when i finally give in and have one im gonna rivet a steel plate across his mouth

and maybe some other modifications

like laser eyes!!! and blasters instead of hands

my kids gonna rule!

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Who knows what fear lurks in the hearts of men? MIKE BOBSICO KNOWS! And if you give him a decent tip when he delivers your mail , he might tell you.

Discodawg's crappy Australia series inspired me to make this:

The Odd Couple - Starring Darius and Davros - Episode 6 by kramer_vs_kramer 6-03-02

I just found some plane tickets on the kitchen table. Are you leaving the country? Yes, I'm leaving for Australia tomorrow. Australia, eh? Are you planning to create a giant army of mutant kangaroos which will enslave the entire human race? Er, not exactly... What then, evil robots? Destructor rays? Flesh-sucking hose-beasts? To be honest, I just wanted to get away from you and your godawful singing.

KvK scores again. Now , can i find a way to involve Davros in a 6 part comic strip called "Davros Down Under" or "Davros Does Derwent" or something equally lame and Aussie based.

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"Life Sucks, Then you Die. The bit inbetween isnt very funny either"

You'd better, then I can knock up a quick 6 part series using everyone elses characters and slapping in a couple of quick dick and fart jokes.

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Dad was flammable

Hmm. Failing to fit in, eh? Crappy comics, eh? This is a sad day in discodawg history.