Spike Milligan died yesterday. Chances are this website wouldn't be here without him. Or if it was, it wouldn't be as funny.

RIP, Spike Milligan by deucepm 2-28-02

Hello, and welcome to "Sucky Sucky Fi' Dollah," the show that delivers the stinging bitchslap of truth upside your pointy head. Today we pay tribute to Spike Milligan. Milligan is considered by some the father of modern comedy. As creator of The Goon Show, Milligan influenced Monty Python, the Firesign Theatre, and pretty much everybody else. To honor this great man, we wanted to have a 21-pudding salute, but our gas was turned off. The march of the 3rd Disgusting Fusileers also fell through. No word from the East Finchley Scouts. Sure, we could do one of those weepy tribues full of highlights, but he would have hated it. So what should we do? Lesbian orgy? I think he'd appreciate that. That's it for this edition of "Sucky Sucky Fi' Dollah." Ying tong iddle i po!

Pretty weak, but I had to do a strip...

R.I.P Spike - May your batter pudding always be warm. by DexX 2-28-02

Haaallo folks! How's yer old dad, den? Winds light to variable. Fine fine fine. Eccles! What is the meaning of this interruption? I'm right in the middle of shampooing my goldfish. Close the door or the poor thing will catch a cold! Hello my Captain! Thinks... It is sad that Mister Milligan is gone. Thinks... I can't think of any more thinks... Un-thinks. What- what- what is going on with all this noise? My little ladt friend Minnie Bannister is in bed with the lurgi! Close the door or the lurgi will escape! Here, have a rotor turbine. No thanks - I'm trying to give them up.

Spike Milligan can probably take responsibility for being the single strongest influence on my developing sense of humour as a young teen. I can still recite several Goon Shows in their entirety.

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I have , in Mp3 Format , 27 Goon Show's , in their entire 30 minute format , including frequent Max Geldray musical accompaniments.

And im SURE the "Have an OBE" , "No Thanks , im trying to give them up" was done on Im Sorry Ill Read That Again.

Ill have to check the exact timelines on which did it first.

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"Life Sucks, Then you Die. The bit inbetween isnt very funny either"

I've got several of the Goon Show on Audio cassette.

"You've got to go 'Oooow'..."

This one's for you, Spike. by DaveMonkey 3-01-02

DaveMonkey's Tribute to Spike Milligan. "I heard my Captain call me, I heard my Captain call..." "You deaded me, you rotten swine!!!"

and a "Knicky knocky Noo" from all of us.

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"Chance!? You had your chance, and you gobbled its balls!"

"Here, take this screwdriver, these CD plates, and this cucumber."
"Cucumber?"
"You have to eat, don't you?"

"Enter Bluebottle! Springs smartly to attention, sticks left toe in rat trap." *SNAP!* "Oiihee!!"

"I talk to da trees... dat's why dey put me away..."

*sniff*

They've all gone away. :(

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"Would you like a Gorilla?"
"No thanks, I'm trying to give them up"

"Why can't we strike a match?"
"Strike one and find out."
*strike... Weeeee Booooom!*
(pause)
"Any questions?"
"Yes, where are my legs?"

"State your position, B-4"
"I'm am lying on my side, with my knees under my chin."
"Why are you doing that?"
"Because I'm at home in bed."

"For hours I waited. Then SUDDENLY... Nothing happened. But it happened suddenly, mark you."

God, I love the Goons...

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"Chance!? You had your chance, and you gobbled its balls!"

"As I swam ashore, I dried myself to save time."

"Oohhh, it's quite windy on these cliffs."
"What a lovely summer evening. Typical English."
"Yes, the rain is lovely and warm."
"You know, Min? I might take one of my sou' westers off!"
"You devil you!"
"Here, hold my elephant gun."
"I don't know why you brought it. You can't shoot elephants around here."
"Why not?"
"They're out of season."
"Does this mean we'll have to have pelican for dinner again!"
"I'm afraid so."
"Then I'll risk it! I'll shoot an elephant out of season!"
Narrator - "Listeners who are listening will of course realise that Minnie and Henry are talking rubbish. There are no elephants in Essex. Elephants are only found in Kent, north of a line drawn between two points, thus making it the shortest distance." *clink of coin in mug* "Thank you."
"Oh... I suppose I can't shoot an elephant then."

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"Tell me, Eccles, have you ever been hit in the head with a sock full of grit?"
"No!"
*WHAM*
"In future, the answer will be 'yes!'"

"They do say... late at night... a lone grey figure trudges wearily down the road, and disappears into that house over there..."
"A ghost!?!?"
"No, it's old Tom Barrow coming home from work."

"Did you not notice, sir? Before it fell to bits, that thing rose seven feet off the ground!"
"Actually it was only five feet - two of those feet were mine."
"If you ask me sir, I think you've invented the hairyplane."
*ringing phone*
"Hello?"
"I hear you've invented the aeroplane."
"Who is this?"
"The Air Ministry."

"Plus we'll need twenty thousand pounds for a hangar."
"Twenty thousand pounds? I'd rather hang my coat on a nail."
"I think he is referring to an aeroplane hangars."
"Oh... will my aeroplane need a hangar?"
"It would lose its shape hanging on a nail."

"Here is my plan of attack."
"It looks like a nail.'
"No - it's a tack! Ha ha ha ha!"
*gunshot*

"Moriarty, put the cat out."
"Why?"
"It's on fire."

*thump thump thump*
"What's that?!?!"
"It's those noisy people in the tent upstairs! Who is that up there?"
*muffled* "I'm the famous Eccles. I've got friends in."
"Well could you take those noisy-type boots off? We're trying to get some sleep!"
*muffled* "Okay!"
*thump* ... *thump*
"Aaahhhh... good night Min."
"Good night Henry."
*thump*
"Oohh! I didn't know Eccles had three legs."
"He doesn't, he has a one-legged friend."
*thump*
"No, he has two one-legged friends."

"Don't come in! I'm in the bath!"
"What are you doing in the bath?!"
"I'm not doing anything in the bath!!!"

"I spent a pleasant afternoon washing my overcoat in the fountain."
"How dare you washing your filthy clothing in this, the loveliest fountain in Rome, thus fouling the water? You could have waited until I had finished my bath!"
"I'm sorry, I thought you were a statue."
"I have the decency, sir, not to move when I'm naked."

"Here, have a gorilla."
"Gee, thanks!"
*roaring, crashing, and Eccles crying out in pain*
"Hey! These gorillas are strong! Have one of my monkeys - they're milder."

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