The War on Terrorism No. 3 by ZypherX465 6-02-02

I'm confused. Does this mean that U.S citizens can kill suspected terrorists? Well, you need to be really, really sure that they're a suspected terrorist. So you need to be doubly sure that they make you really nervous! This guy next to me is wearing a really messed up shirt. Does this mean I can cap him?

Can you help me to be funny?

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Each day we die a little more...

Hey, you know that's a REAL shirt, I actually own it!

It's too dark to see in that photo, but I'm actually wearing a kilt and perfectly re-enacting my forum character.

Also, you may notice that I seem to be pulling a really weird forced smile. Could be due to the fact that I'm really high, or perhaps that guy with his arm round me just slipped something up my kilt.

I also seem to be bald.

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Dad was flammable

You look like a woman.

No offense.

Funnily enough, I wouldn't have taken offence if you hadn't said "No offense", which made me realise that you were serious.

Trust me, if you want proof of my masculinity, I have PLENTY of photos you can look at.

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Dad was flammable

I was just playin with you man.

Are you the reason why I'm getting spamed from freesmut.com?

I'm still annoyed with myself for forgetting to colour your sporran...

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This signature has performed an illegal operation and has been shut down.

Is that the little change purse up front?

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"Jelly-belly gigglin, dancin and a-wigglin, honey that's the way I am!" Janice the Muppet

Actually, on that occasion my sporran contained my mobile phone and a knife. It wasn't until I was sitting down to dinner that I realised I had left my phone on vibrate...

I just let the call ring out.

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Dad was flammable

I always wondered what that was for... loose change is the answer or so it seems. Like an all purpose pocket.

Or is it just to cover your crotch?

If I remember correctly, I kept my weed and a few pre-rolled smokes in there aswell. Yes, it's just a pocket really, somewhere to keep stuff, but it's mostly for show, I don't think it really had a use on the battle grounds.

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Dad was flammable

I really like ZypherX465's war on terrorism strips, by the way. I know this thread has moved onto the topic of sporrans, but I felt I had to give the guy kudos for "We'll have to cryogenically freeze him after we kill him, so we can wake him up and kill him again!".

Scratch that, I just found out he nicked them, the bastard.

You spell like an Englishman.

No offense.

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What others say about boorite!

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You spell like an Englishman.

No offense.

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You spell like an Englishman.

No offense.

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Why don't you send me a cheque and I'll send you a dictionary, any colour you want, with your name in the centre!

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I made this one a while ago, but it seems appropriate now...

Lory Driver Rode a Lift to Buy a Jumper in Any Bloody Colour by Scyess 5-19-02

Hi there, handsome. Why don't you ride my hot booty to cumville? I promise you can smoke MY stogie for hours. Holy cows, buddy. You are such a flaming fag! This joke is funny in Britain. No, really. Dagnabit, shoulda crushed those prissy tea-sippers in '45 when we had the chance.

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"Old" is the old new.

Cultural Differences (1) by evil_d 5-02-02

...and now I'm here in London for the annual entomology conference! Between work and my hobby, I guess you could say my life is all about buggery! Well I never! Son, it's not too late to be saved. Stop by the church this afternoon and we'll have a nice talk. I'll pencil you in for four o'clock! What the hell was all that about? Buggered if I know.

Cultural Differences (2) by evil_d 5-02-02

So this is your first time abroad? Are you nervous at all? Yeah, a little. I could really go for a smoke right now. Look, that guy's smoking, maybe he'll help me out. SAY, BUDDY, CAN I BUM A CIGARETTE? Er... Jon... I think you're forgetting where you are. Oh, right. I MEAN, CAN I BUM A FAG?

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The what mentioned above is total fiction. Please don't take it seriously!