God I love this stuff.
No competition, it's just funny!

---
Do you want ants? Because that's how you get ants.

--Get that rancid fucking mess out of the sink. And the dishes, too!

---
What others say about boorite!

"Honey, I'm off with girls tonight, will you make sure the baby gets a bath?"

---
Women are fisher's of men because we all know.... The small ones you throw back. The medium ones you eat. The large ones you mount.

-Baby lost all his OTHER bath toys.

-"And when you're done with those, you can wash the floors."

-Good help is so hard to find these days. So why not give birth to it instead?

---
Do you want ants? Because that's how you get ants.

- When he came home and saw that his wife was marinating his son in a chicken ramen and OE sauce, Gabe finally had to admit to himself that the Billings household had fallen on hard times.

- Kathlie Lee puts Cody to work.

- 'Do the dishes,' you say. Fine. I shit in the dishwater. Happy dysentery.

- At least I outgrew the toilet.

- SURE, this is cute at 13 months, but my Uncle Leon still does it.

---
I ate a hooker half a bottle of knife.

quote:

---

God I love this stuff.
No competition, it's just funny!

---

-Now ask yourself one important question: Should that toaster be that close to the sink with the kid in it? Honestly. I think it should be closer. Much closer.

---
Do you want ants? Because that's how you get ants.

Where did you fuckers get that picture of me?

---
100 pounds of shit in a 25 pound sack.

Your mom though it'd be "cute".
I thought it was "disturbing" and "wrong". Especially the OTHER pictures she gave me, ones with her in them... I can't post those on here or anywhere for legal reasons... eugh.

---
Do you want ants? Because that's how you get ants.

It wasnt util later in life that little Warren Cuckaracha came to understand his immense fear of garbage disposals.

---
At least im still funny .....looking. http://www.carrionfields.com

That's "baster".

---
Do you want ants? Because that's how you get ants.

Ahh, ok, thanks.

---
At least im still funny .....looking. http://www.carrionfields.com

I know where you live!
Now I just need to get money to get to Italy.

---
Do you want ants? Because that's how you get ants.

- "Reginald hated to see food go to waste, but unfortunately he had only been hungry enough to eat the lower half of the baby."

---
"Old" is the old new.

- "D'ya like my bath? Now I'll make it into a spa!" *bllluurrrpp!*

- "Mother, we need to talk about this new babysitter..."

- "I don't care if my bum is just the right size! Can't you just buy a new plug?"

---
This signature has performed an illegal operation and has been shut down.

quote:

---

- "D'ya like my bath? Now I'll make it into a spa!" *bllluurrrpp!*

---

"So remember: Friends don't let friends do class A controlled narcotics and babysit."

---
I wanted my half in the middle and I wound up on the edge.