I had stopped making strips just for the fun of making strips, but now I am trying to get back into the habit...

Both of these were inspired by conversations in the #stripcreator IRC channel on Undernet.

Real-life converations... by DexX 6-24-02

We join a conversation in progress... ...and the male dolphin has a prehensile penis. Oh yeah, I read about that! They can wrap it around small objects, carry things around... There's a skill I would like to have. I don't know if such a power should be granted to human beings... Knowing your average human male, he'd be showing it off to everyone. Helluva party trick. Yeah - after three drinks it'd be, "Hey girls! Who wants me to see my famous beer-pouring trick!"

---
This signature has performed an illegal operation and has been shut down.

In a similar vein, I was inspired to make this series:

Othello - Part 1 by kramer_vs_kramer 6-24-02

This sure is a great party, Neal. Yeah, isn't it? Shit! Here comes Pimp Dave. He'd better not try and stand next to me! Yo yo yo boyzes! Whasssup!!!

Othello - Part 2 by kramer_vs_kramer 6-24-02

Oh no- Dave can't stand there! Pete's a gonner! Ack! Hey guys, what's going on?

Othello - Part 3 by kramer_vs_kramer 6-24-02

It's too late, we've lost him.

Othello - Part 4 by kramer_vs_kramer 6-24-02

Pete, are you okay? He can't hear you, Roger. He's on our side now. Wiggity wiggity wack. Boyyeee! That's the spirit, my man!

Othello - Part 5 by kramer_vs_kramer 6-24-02

Wait! Here comes Trouserless Bob. Bob! Stand over here! Don't listen to him, Bob! There's nothing for you here! >hic!

[Click to view comic: 'Othello - Part 6']
[Click to view comic: 'Othello - Part 7']
[Click to view comic: 'Othello - Part 8']

Kramer, you magnificent bastard...

I really must make a new plaque like I have been meaning to...

---
This signature has performed an illegal operation and has been shut down.

The mere sight of Joe Mantegna inspired this:

David Mamet Presents... by wirthling 6-24-02

...And so, for chances left, I have none, and so I am fucked. Am I? In chances, you are fucked. This is true. And thus the game is played. And this, the game, is it like this then? Is this the way it ends? Has the game ended? Or perhaps the game has just begun. This, the fucking game, it is a game we all must play. Hold it a sec--what the hell kind of dialogue is this? Do you understand any of what we just said. No clue whatsoever.

---
"And Wirthling isn't worth the paper he isn't printed on."

kramer: That was great, even if I spent the first four strips wondering how close to the Shakespeare it was. You inspired this out of me (not posted directly here so as not to widen the thread obnoxiously).

---
ken.kaufman@gmail.com

I made some strips based on real conversations the other week. They're not so much funny as, well, inane, and I'm not sure what I was thinking when I made them, but here you go anyway.

Inane conversations #1 by andydougan 6-10-02

I've seen the future and it is PLASTIC. I can't wait for the future. Fortunately, I don't have to. In the future, zeppelins were waiting to fly us to the cities in the sky. Wait, this is just as bad as the past.

Inane conversations #2 by andydougan 6-10-02

If you can see the future, what am I about to say? "Sit in quiet spots and think, shun the tavern's portal, write, and never have lived, die to be immortal." Sit in quiet spots and think, shun the tavern's portal, write, and never have lived, die to be immortal. How...how did you... Know? mwahahahahhaaaa.

Inane conversations #3 by andydougan 6-10-02

!     ?   ... \o/ ^o^ ^__^

Inane conversations #4 by andydougan 6-10-02

Can you teach me to see the future? I can teach you to see my undies. But can you teach me to see the future? Yes. Nets in 5. That doesn't make sense.

Inane conversations #5 by andydougan 6-10-02

Welcome back. I was so lonely without you. I was lonely without me too. Fortunately, I had my asthma inhaler for company.

[Click to view comic: 'Inane conversations #5']
[Click to view comic: 'Inane conversations #7']
[Click to view comic: 'Inane conversations #8']

Andy's "unfunny crap" makes me laugh lots.

Am I abnormal?

---
This signature has performed an illegal operation and has been shut down.

A word from our sponsor by kaufman 6-27-02

Angela, I'm afraid we'll have to lay you off. I'm sorry, Mrs. Walker. I just ran over your cat. Botox Oh my god, the house is on fire!

---
ken.kaufman@gmail.com

Once again based on an IRC conversation...

Speed Dating and the Mythos by DexX 8-06-02

Okay everyone, five minutes per person. Say a few things about yourself to start off. Starting... now. Hi, I'm Melinda. I'm a gym instructor. I love cycling, jogging, and romantic movies! Hey, I'm Harry. I'm a medical student, in my third year of study. I love watching movies of all kinds, drawing, and working in the garden. Hi, I'm Gwen. I'm a high school teacher, maths and science. I like science fiction in all media, visiting national parks, and watching sunsets. Greetings. I am Shubb-Niggurath, the Black Goat of the Woods with a Thousand Young. I like tournament Scrabble.

---
This signature has performed an illegal operation and has been shut down.

quote:

---

Andy's "unfunny crap" makes me laugh lots.

Am I abnormal?

---

Actual online conversation, yada yada...

Freudians slips: In the classroom... by DexX 8-17-02

Okay, settle down kids. Today in sex ed we're going to learn about the human female's menstrual psycho. Uh... Cycle.

---
This signature has performed an illegal operation and has been shut down.

Good one DexX. Keep making no particular reason strips.

It's fun to follow the contests, but the many non-contest comics seem to be a little better.

(BTW, I've posted a message to you in the General Discussion forum).

---
"Eat a fucking cock." - attitudechicka

I already mentioned how cool that one was on IRC yesterday. I guess I can do it again.

OH WOW!!! I LUV IT!!!

If you're qualified, you're dead. Oh the irony. by DexX 8-18-02

I want to kill myself, but I can't think how I should do it. A massive dose of codeine worked for me. Okay, thanks. ...wait a minute.

---
This signature has performed an illegal operation and has been shut down.

Real life... uh, real instant message conversation... by DexX 8-19-02

Hugs are harmless. I like hugs. Hmmm... I don't know... I find that when I am held by a man, I tend to get all needy... You'll be hugged by Bec too. We're both prolific huggers. That's okay - I can be hugged by a woman with no problems. I think it's hormonal... you'd hug me, and you'd just SMELL good! Okay... how about if I smear myself with shit first? ...are we talking *male* shit?

---
This signature has performed an illegal operation and has been shut down.

Real-life example of me being a smartarse... by DexX 8-19-02

Hey, DexX. Just checking that my MSN messenger is working properly. Is this getting through? Nope. Didn't get it. Sorry. Damn it! Yeah, it sucks. I bet I would have had somethign really witty to say, too.

---
This signature has performed an illegal operation and has been shut down.

No real life in these ones. I'm just being self-indulgent... REED MI COMIX!!! FEEDBAK PLZ!!!

Losing my directions... by DexX 8-21-02

Look, I hate to go on about this, but are you sure you're reading that map correctly? Yes, I'm sure. I told you to make a wrong turn earlier, but it's all sorted now. Urm... the street signs are all in German... We're probably just in the German district of the city. Straight ahead! Go straight ahead here! Look, you _said_ straight ahead. Yeah, well... you probably missed the bridge or something.

Rebellion. by DexX 8-21-02

Wanna make a strip... wanna make a strip... wanna make a strip... Need... idea... Wanna... make... Oh, just fuck off and leave alone, will you?

Bondage advicage... by DexX 8-21-02

A bit of advice. Beat me harder! I give the orders around here, slave! If you must engage in BDSM play... BEAT ME HARDER! That's precisely what I'm doing, impudent cur! ...choose your "safe word" with care. BEAT ME HA- ugh! I heard you the first fifty times, scum!

---
This signature has performed an illegal operation and has been shut down.

Three thumbs up for "Bondage advicage"

---
"Eat a fucking cock." - attitudechicka

Bwahah! I love the Bondage advicage one, and the last one you did about being a smartass.

No, that's "arse", with an R. by DexX 8-25-02

Now it's time for Political Discourse, with Kirk Jones... Welcome to political discourse. Our guest tonight is Secretary of Defence, Colin Powell... Sorry to interrupt. I know it's spelled like the usual "Colin" but it's pronounced with a long O in the first syllable. Uh... "Colon"? Yes, that's correct. ...as in the lower bowel? Yes yes, that's what I said. Now, Kock, can we get on with this interview?

---
This signature has performed an illegal operation and has been shut down.

I've said it before and I'll say it again.

"Colon"

---
:\

Not a true story. No, not at all. (Shhh, don't tell her!) by DexX 8-23-02

Cars are filthy. I don't care how fuel efficient you might claim yours is, they are simply filthy. I ride my bike along a major road, and it's like being inside an industrial chimney. Uh-huh... I mean, what's the point? My bike gets me from A to B, no trouble. I see a lone driver in a car and I just want to scream. Dragging around a tonne of metal to move a single person! Uh-huh... Oh, that reminds me... can I get a lift? *sigh* I'll get my keys...

---
This signature has performed an illegal operation and has been shut down.

I was emailed a list of amusing quotes and jokes about marriage (by my wife, oddly enough). A few of them translated neatly into single-panel gags. Here goes...

Marriage (none of these are mine, sadly) by DexX 8-27-02

My wife is an angel. Lucky bastard... mine's still alive! Honey, have you been thinking about what I said? Remeber, about being more affectionate? Yep, I've taken it to heart. I now have two girlfriends. I you would just be willing to cook and clean now and then, we could fire the cook and the maid! Sure, and if you'd fuck me now and then, we could fire the gardener and the pool boy!

Marriage 2 (again, none of these are mine) by DexX 8-27-02

Do you ever fantasise about stuff during sex? I mostly just fantasise that my wife isn't fantasising about someone else... Where would you be without me? I made you a millionaire! I know. What a pity I was a billionaire before we got married. Hey, your wedding ring is on the wrong hand... I know - I married the wrong man.

Marriage 3 (not mine) by DexX 8-27-02

Mother! Mother! I've fallen in love with a man just like dad! Don't worry dear - we all make mistakes. I was a fool when I married you. I know... what a shame I was in love at the time and didn't notice. You know, it is said that men never know true happiness until they are married. ...but by that time it's too fucking late.

---
This signature has performed an illegal operation and has been shut down.