The theme of this contest is marriage, long term relationships, or other domestic partnerships (for you folks of the homosexual persuasion). If you do a strip about business relationships, brides of Christ, or other non-romantic partnerships, you will be disqualified. Within that limitation, do whatever you like- Positive aspects, negative aspects, divorce, engagements - I don't care. Go wild.

And you must mention the proper name of a vehicle somewhere in the strip. Make it funny- naming a character "Mr. BMW" just to fulfill the requirement will get you negative points. Keep in mind I live in America and am female, so if you choose the name of some 1940's French sub-compact to fit the rule and I don't recognize it, you'll be fucked. If it looks like a car name and I can google it to confirm it, you'll be fine.

Series are okay, as long as they are no longer than three strips. if you can't do it in 9 panels, forget it.

Due to some "having a life" issues, I can't end this contest Thursday night as would be typical. so you have until Friday 6/28 6pm Pacific time to get yer strips in. winners may not be announced immediately if my weekend takes the wacky turn I suspect it might.

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When they invent BookFace, I'm -there-.

CC 127: Cassinis from a Marriage by kaufman 6-25-02

What are you reading, honey? The sequel to "Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus." It's called "Couples are from Saturn." I guess that's why they buy each other rings, Phoebe. Any good insights in there? Yeah, get a load of this, Dion: Couples who've lived together for years begin looking like one another as their relationships tighten up. Ha ha ha! Hee hee, yeah, right!

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ken.kaufman@gmail.com

CC 127: Non-Traditional Marriage by kaufman 6-25-02

I now pronounce you man and wife and rabbit and office supply and Elder God.

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ken.kaufman@gmail.com

I'll do a proper entry later. Here is a true-story placeholder...

Moving House, five by DexX 1-22-02

After yesterday's debacle in the Northland branch of Optus, where they wouldn't give Quentin a new mobile phone because he didn't have enough ID for their requirements, we_set_off_this_morning... First_we_had_to_go_to_the Blind Citizens of Australia to get that photo ID thing. Traffic was shit and it turns out they don't have a passport photo camera, so we had to go find a chemist... We_waited_around_for_ages for the card, and when we got back to the car, I saw that one of the headlights had simply fallen out. I managed to get it vaguely wedged back in, and set off to the city... St_Kilda_Road_was_a_fucking nightmare, as always. When we finally reached the CBD, we found an Optus World and found a one hour park, or so I thought. Went to Optus... No luck! My wife is a saint... Here's your tea - chicken and vegetable stir fry with fat udon noodles. Your favourite, sweetie. Found_out_they_don't_do cable internet connections in-store - only over the phone. After Quentin got his phone, we got back to the car... it was a fucking loading zone. $100 ticket...

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This signature has performed an illegal operation and has been shut down.

CC127: Ode to kaufman by flickguy 6-25-02

Honey, we can't afFORD to have your VOLVO pierced. JEEPsus CHRYSLER, Peter! I'm not asking you to make payments until INFINITI. LEXUS talk about this. It's a CHEVY issue, and your MERCURY is rising. If you can't understand and be reasonable about this, I'm AUDI here! Don't DODGE the issue! I'm HONDA count to ... oh, forget it.

CC127: Ode to kaufman (Pt 2) by flickguy 6-25-02

That pig! That swine! That... That... Moronic, self-sentered, egotistical putz? Well... I wouldn't go *that* far, Dad... PORSCHE-a, why don't you tell Daddy what's wrong... Well, Peter and I had a fight, because I want to pierce my... **whisper whisper** I had one o' them, once. It didn't fit right.

CC127: Ode to kaufman (Pt 3) by flickguy 6-25-02

So what should I do, Dad? Tell him how much you love him. Tell him you respect his feelings. Make LAMBORGHINI alfredo for dinner. And then go out and get your VOLVO pierced anyway. Soon... Honey, I want you to know how much I love you, and that I respect your feelings. Here, I made pasta for dinner. I hate my father.

If lameness were the object, I'd win.

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This is not my empire.

Love and Death - Part One by KajunFirefly 6-25-02

Honey, I'm ho-ome! What's for dinner? You'll have to russle up something yourself, I grabbed some fast food before I came home. *sigh* Is it really too much to ask to come home from a hard day, reaping souls, and find some food waiting for me? You're not the only one with a job you know, this Hugh Grant court case is getting difficult, they found stains in his Jeep. I told you, just say the world and I'll take care of him. No way, not after you refused to testify in the O.J. case, you were THERE for fuck sake.

Love and Death - Part Two by KajunFirefly 6-25-02

So, how about that dinner? Listen honey, I really think we should talk about starting a family. Oh, not THIS again, look I've told you, I don't need to sire an heir, I will exist until the end of time, where I will continue to exist along with other immortals. But I want a baby, not everyone is immortal you know, it would be a great way of expressing our love. I know a good way you could express YOUR love. Not a chance mister, not until the almighty creator blesses you with a tongue so that you might return the favour.

Love and Death - Part Three by KajunFirefly 6-25-02

Darling, I'm going on a golf weekend with the boys. If anyone phones looking for me, tell them I'm sick, oh, and try and take a look at that guttering when you've got a minute. ok honey. oh, I'd better remember my video camera, Bob Hope's playing with us, I get the feeling he's been cheating me for years. I want a replay of every shot he takes. ok honey, you have a good time now. I swear, if it wasn't for the fact that he doesn't have any in-laws, I would have left him years ago.

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Dad was flammable

CC 127: A Little Man Love - Part One by KajunFirefly 6-25-02

*knock knock* Ah, that'll be my mail order bride, I thought she'd never get here. Boorite? Oh, wait, you're not the Mr Smith who ordered a Sex Craved Librarian, are you? Shit, it seems I've fucked up the ordering somehow, what do we do now? Well, you signed the forms, we ARE legally married. You might aswell get your money's worth.

CC 127: A Little Man Love - Part Two by KajunFirefly 6-25-02

3 months later. Hey, you want to go down the pub? Sure. You know it's weird, after all my past troubles with women, I didn't realise that another man was the answer. Yeah, and the sex is a whole lot easier. I love you Boorite. I love you Kajun.

CC 127: A Little Man Love - Part Three by KajunFirefly 6-25-02

GAAAAH!!! Woah, Gabe, I just had the most disgusting dream. Why? What happened? I dreamt Kajun was gay and we were married! It was horrible! Oh Darling, you know that's why you shouldn't drink before you go to bed.

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Dad was flammable

Hi,. . . my first entry! I'm not a contest virgin anymore! Yay!
. . . is my ass supposed to hurt this much?

CC 127: You Always Remember Your First Time by voidweller 6-25-02

I've been thinking about it, Ray. And I think I'm ready. Are you sure? We don't have to do this tonight. No, it's time. We've waited so long. Never again will we end up so constrained and uncomfortable in the back of your Buick. Not after we share that ultimate moment. . . the moment when a couple knows they truly love each other. *PHHHHHHHHT* Ahhhh, I've been holding that for weeks. *PHHHHHHHHTTT*

This fits the bill, but I'll probably make a new entry a bit later.

Tobor Gets Traded In. by NastyPope 4-25-01

Tobor, we need to talk. I have to come right out and say it.... I don't love you anymore, I love another gay sodomizing robot. I am leaving you for Robby the Robot. You....You......You are leaving Tobor ? You no longer love Tobor, you no longer want Tobor to cornhole you ? That's right, Tobor, I don't want to be cruel but you just dont excite me anymore. It's always the same thing.. 'Tobor Cornhole this, Tobor cornhole that.' But Tobor loves little grey alien hermaphrodite with tight bung. Tobor can change, Tobor can become exciting again. I'm sorry Tobor, I really am. Robby listens to me and cares about my emotions, he understands mutal anal probing. Tobor can change, give Tobor another chance, from now on Tobor will not cornhole. Instead Tobor will poke your spokes.

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At least im still funny .....looking. http://www.carrionfields.com

ok, its later.
the first two are for reference.

Necrophillia, the Other White Meat by NastyPope 3-02-01

Necrophillia... for all its horror, for all its depraved sinking into the utter depths of sexual perversion is not unlike living relationships.....

Tobor Pays his Respects by NastyPope 4-25-01

RAAAAR!!!!!!! TOBOR WILL CORNHOLE YOU!!!!! Holy shit, put that thing away, someone could hurt!!! No talking, assume the position or Tobor will not use the Cherry Flavored Anal Ease!! Wait a sec, why would ya want me, when you can let me show you the area where we bury celebrities ass up. Ooooooooo, Tobor wants a piece of the Rock.

Necrophillia, the Other White Meat part 2 by NastyPope 6-25-02

Death follows the caretaker and Tobor over to the Celebrity section. Tobor Happy, they did bury Rock ass up!!!! .....uh..... nevermind. After watching the Red_Rump_Ranger in action I realize booty bustin the deceased is just plain wrong. uh oh, Tobor a little too excited. Tobor needs bucket and garden weasel.

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At least im still funny .....looking. http://www.carrionfields.com

Nasty and Kajun, I'm not seeing the car names in your entries. Next time, point them out with the kaufman "JEEP whiz, this is obvious" method or reply here so I don't have to disqualify otherwise good strips.

This goes for the rest of you as well. If I can't see it, it ain't gonna count.

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When they invent BookFace, I'm -there-.

Surely you've heard of the Toyota Boorite...?

It accomodates two (with a bit of a squeeze).

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This signature has performed an illegal operation and has been shut down.

Bastard, I mentioned "Jeep" in the first one, but forgot the rule in the Boorite story, dammit dammit dammit.

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Dad was flammable

CC 127: Pillow Talk by KajunFirefly 6-26-02

Hey, what the hell is THAT? That's my penis! Is it? Then what the hell is this? I don't know, I thought it was you, I've been rubbing it for the past 10 minutes. SO HAVE I! Oh, wait, I think that's the cat.

CC 127: Pillow Talk by KajunFirefly 6-26-02

MMmm, mmm yeah, ooh, that's good. OH! OH! Yeah, that's even BETTER! Sorry dear, I just needed to run to the bathroom, now, let's snuggle. Actually, could you just leave me and the cat alone for a bit longer?

CC 127: Pillow Talk by KajunFirefly 6-26-02

OOOH, YEAH!! Uh, you're not faking it are you? No, don't be silly, I haven't faked an orgasm since Gary Parker tried to bone me in the back of his Corvette. Shirley? GARY??? I knew this costume party was a bad idea.

(Corvette, by the way)

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Dad was flammable

quote:

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Nasty and Kajun, I'm not seeing the car names in your entries. Next time, point them out with the kaufman "JEEP whiz, this is obvious" method or reply here so I don't have to disqualify otherwise good strips.

This goes for the rest of you as well. If I can't see it, it ain't gonna count.

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Advice from a Relationship Counselor After GTA3 by Ranma_X. 6-26-02

Relationships suffer from moments of confusion, when one wonders why they enjoy the company of the other... Are you sure this is okay? Positive, no one will notice us, heh heh. A couple can take steps to ease this discomfort by taking up a group hobby All right... There you go. Don't forget the 'toys' In short: The Couple that Commits Felonies Together, Stays Together. Okay, asshole! Out of the Miata or I'll shoot your ass!! God, I love her.

CC127: My Girlfriend and Video Games(Based on a true story) by Ranma_X. 6-26-02

I'm glad you're playing one of my RPGs, honey. How are you liking Final Fantasy X so far? Umm...It's okay I guess. What's wrong? Are you understanding the controls and leveling system? Yes that's fine. It's just... Just What? Can I play Grand Theft Auto 3 instead? I get to steal Corvettes and shoot people.

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-working towards a worse tomorrow.

http://www.stripcreator.com/view.php?ID=74186

It's not bad I'd say.

CC 127: The Circle of Life by KajunFirefly 6-28-02

Oh Malcolm, fertilise my egg sack! What? Come on Julie, I hardly know you, shouldn't we take it slow, spend some time together? I'll just empty myself behind that bush, then you release your precious sperm! Julie, please, I'm not that kind of guy, I mean I like you and everything, but I want more. You're acting like some cheap escort girl! Later... Oh, hey there, mind if I fertilise your eggs with my precious sperm? What? Come on, I hardly know you, shouldn't we take it slow...

(Escort)

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Dad was flammable

Sometimes these forums can inspire comics ...

CC 127: Splashdown by kaufman 6-28-02

Be right back, honey. I have to go to the bathroom. o/` Lada dee, lada da, la .... GODDAMMIT!!!! *click* What's the matter? Are you ok? YOU LEFT THE FUCKING SEAT UP AGAIN!!!!

(the oft maligned Lada)

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ken.kaufman@gmail.com

Only one cheap pun in this one. I'm lazy as hell.

CC 127: by NeoVid 6-28-02

Christ(ler)... You know, after looking at the kids, I'm starting to think we shouldn't have gotten married, sis.

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"Only things I approve of should exist." -some guy on the internet

Hono(u)rable mentions:
Love and Death - Kajun Firefly
Pillow Talk - Kajun Firefly
Splashdown - Kaufman

The winner is:

A Little Man Love - Kajun Firefly -anytime i hear "sex crazed librarian" from now on, I'll think of Boorite. Wins even though it broke the rules.

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When they invent BookFace, I'm -there-.

Whoo-hoo!!

New contest in 12 hours.

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Dad was flammable

Actually, I've been trying to think of a new contest all day, but I was at work and my brain was a little fucked.

I'm off out to a 21st tonight and I'm completely stumped as to what to do for the next contest. But I WILL try and think of something for tomorrow morning, or later on, when I'm drunk.

however

if you want to e-mail me your suggestions, send them to kajunscontest@fieldhead.demon.co.uk

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Dad was flammable